Question for white guys who date black women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 29 year old black woman dating a white male for the first time. We were work friends for over a year and early on I realized he was very smart, funny and just very nice. But I had never dated anyone but AA men so I just kept my distance. Then we were chatting at a company social event and I realized that I really liked him and I said it would be fun to get together sometime away from work and he said he’d love to do that. It turned out he felt the same way about me but since he had never dated a AA woman he wasn’t sure how I would react. I said that if I had just met him I’m not sure how I would react but he was already a friend so it was easy. Not to be explicit, but the first time I slept with him it was a shock to see such a white body! I’m sure he felt the same way about me but we have definitely gotten use to it.

NP and black woman married to a white DH. This had me laugh out loud. When he comes out of the bath, he's pink all over. It's adorable.

On topic, I've been approached by white, black, and Latino men IRL. But only white online. Not sure what that means. I met DH on eHarmony. I'm really surprised (and a bit saddened) that social media and dating apps have changed dating behavior so much. GL to everyone out there in meeting someone.

[Anonymous]

Ya'll ever seen Something New? Cute Movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 29 year old black woman dating a white male for the first time. We were work friends for over a year and early on I realized he was very smart, funny and just very nice. But I had never dated anyone but AA men so I just kept my distance. Then we were chatting at a company social event and I realized that I really liked him and I said it would be fun to get together sometime away from work and he said he’d love to do that. It turned out he felt the same way about me but since he had never dated a AA woman he wasn’t sure how I would react. I said that if I had just met him I’m not sure how I would react but he was already a friend so it was easy. Not to be explicit, but the first time I slept with him it was a shock to see such a white body! I’m sure he felt the same way about me but we have definitely gotten use to it.

NP and black woman married to a white DH. This had me laugh out loud. When he comes out of the bath, he's pink all over. It's adorable.

On topic, I've been approached by white, black, and Latino men IRL. But only white online. Not sure what that means. I met DH on eHarmony. I'm really surprised (and a bit saddened) that social media and dating apps have changed dating behavior so much. GL to everyone out there in meeting someone.

I was born in Kenya and my BF is Irish/English so we joke that we look like piano keys because I'm so black and he's so white. While mixed race couples don't attract as much attention as they once did we might be the exception but it's not mean spirited.

[Anonymous]

I'm a white man married to a black woman. We met pre-online dating, but I'm glad that online is helping people hook up!

Back in the day, I used to think we got a lot of looks, but in hindsight i was probably self-conscious and no one really cared.

[Anonymous]

Back in the day, I used to think we got a lot of looks, but in hindsight i was probably self-conscious and no one really cared.

I am white guy that had a black girlfriend for about a year. I was in my early 50s and she was in her mid-40s (but looked much younger) when we dated.

We got more "looks" because the black man/white woman combination is more common and more socially normative.

In addition, as a poster noted up post, there is more pressure on black women to date black men than the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

When I was younger, online dating did not exist so a guy had to learn from trial and error, advice from friends typically the player type, or female friends and relatives.

This is the absolute worst source of dating advice possible. Not merely bad, but counterproductive. Never, never, never solicit (or listen to) dating advice from female friends or relatives.

Tell Your Son This.

Why?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Twenty years ago I asked a black woman out on a date and she very pleasantly declined saying that she only dated black men. Was she a racist? There was no tone of racism in her comment. I never did ask another black woman out mostly due to a lack of opportunity.

Not necessarily. She may just not be attracted to white men, which doesn't make her a racist, per se. It's like saying a man only dates women with big boobs, or blondes or blondes with big boobs. You get my meaning?

If a black man asked out a white woman and she said I only date white men you can be darn sure he'd consider her a racist.

As a PP stated, it depends on how she declined... was she "very pleasant"? Or did she decline with a look of pure disgust? Maybe she's just not into black men?

Assume she said it pleasantly. He'd still consider her a racist but a pleasant one!

I think she'd be a bigot and not a racist. Racism is really about power and control and bigotry is severe prejudice against another group.

Thank you. People still don't understand that black folk can't be "racist." Prejudiced, yes. Racist, errrrr, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Twenty years ago I asked a black woman out on a date and she very pleasantly declined saying that she only dated black men. Was she a racist? There was no tone of racism in her comment. I never did ask another black woman out mostly due to a lack of opportunity.

Not racist, you just weren't her preference. I'm biracial, my father is white and we are very close, but I've always dated black men exclusively and probably will always. Just preference.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:White guys don't approach anyone in real life.

This.

White guy here and I’d partially agree with this. There’s a constant drumbeat of stories about women being put in uncomfortable situations by men who are interested in them. Honestly, dating apps give them the distance to not have to respond or feel threatened, or, to be interested. I get a charge out of introducing myself, talking to and learning about someone that I think is attractive, but it’s not always the same experience for them.

That is sad men feel like they can't even approach women anymore

+1

Not sad. Good for women who don’t wabt to be bothered while shopping, working out, walking their dog, or even working. Women who are looking know how to signal romantic interest. If men are too deficient to differentiate between a woman who is simply responding to be polite and one who is actually romantically interested, they need to sit out dating for a while.

LOL no. Women need to start making the first move. What you posted is just BS.

Come on. Don’t you know women who are looking express their interest through a pulsating patch of shiny red on the back of their necks. It signals the white male to approach.

[Anonymous]

Bless you, OP.
I love a non-covid thread!