Question for white guys who date black women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

When I was younger, online dating did not exist so a guy had to learn from trial and error, advice from friends typically the player type, or female friends and relatives.

This is the absolute worst source of dating advice possible. Not merely bad, but counterproductive. Never, never, never solicit (or listen to) dating advice from female friends or relatives.

Tell Your Son This.

+1

Someone posted in one of these threads she'd told her teenage son not to listen to teenage girls but to watch what they do. Pretty good advice...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White guys don't approach anyone in real life.

This.

White guy here and I’d partially agree with this. There’s a constant drumbeat of stories about women being put in uncomfortable situations by men who are interested in them. Honestly, dating apps give them the distance to not have to respond or feel threatened, or, to be interested. I get a charge out of introducing myself, talking to and learning about someone that I think is attractive, but it’s not always the same experience for them.

That is sad men feel like they can't even approach women anymore

Sad but true. Blame the #Metoo movement for some of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White guys don't approach anyone in real life.

This.

White guy here and I’d partially agree with this. There’s a constant drumbeat of stories about women being put in uncomfortable situations by men who are interested in them. Honestly, dating apps give them the distance to not have to respond or feel threatened, or, to be interested. I get a charge out of introducing myself, talking to and learning about someone that I think is attractive, but it’s not always the same experience for them.

That is sad men feel like they can't even approach women anymore

It's sad when men are so socially inept from laziness, entitlement, and watching copious amounts of porn that they don't know how to talk to women without being creeps.

*fixed that for you

PP is nasty. It is more the #Metoo movement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed on dating apps I get regularly approached by white guys. However in real life getting approached by them is rare? Any explanation for this? Is there something you look for when deciding to approach in person?

The reality is white women don't get approached by white men anymore in real life, either. The white men wimp out and use the dating sites to approach women of all races.

Best of luck with your dating.

Wimp out? I think white guys - actually guys in general - cannot afford to have guards down.

Yes, Men of all color cannot afford to have guards down in #Metoo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White guys don't approach anyone in real life.

This.

White guy here and I’d partially agree with this. There’s a constant drumbeat of stories about women being put in uncomfortable situations by men who are interested in them. Honestly, dating apps give them the distance to not have to respond or feel threatened, or, to be interested. I get a charge out of introducing myself, talking to and learning about someone that I think is attractive, but it’s not always the same experience for them.

That is sad men feel like they can't even approach women anymore

There is a subset of women who think a man they don't know approaching them ANYWHERE is "creepy." You'll see various threads on this site where women describe being approached at the work (don't shi*t where you eat), gym, grocery store, their children's school, etc. as "creepy." It's hard to know a priori if a woman falls into this camp, so many guys prefer approaching online to avoid being labeled a "creep."

This is simply not true and you know it.

I’m the poster who wrote “a subset of women think strange men approaching them anywhere is creepy.” I do think some women feel this way. This is probably more so with younger women who grew up with social media and online dating. There was even 1 or 2 women on this thread stating they prefer to be approached online. I came of age before online dating was a thing so women seemed less quick to label men creeps. On the other hand they put up with a lot more of what we would consider harassment today.

DP. Woman here and agree with you. If definitely seems to a trait of younger women and the social media set as well as the fact that men don’t seem skilled at approaching women IRL. Which also a downstream of social media and online dating.They seem to think any initial approach of a man expressing interest is creepy. I find it very odd.

This. There is a lot of anti male (all races) sentiment presented by very very toxic women in our society today.

[Anonymous]

Men in general are bad at reading signals compared to women. They have poor emotional intelligence. Numerous studies have confirmed this.. or just look at your DH and see.

So take that, and add the #metoo fear to it, and men aren't going to approach random women any more. Try that in a coffee shop or a gym and you'll be branded a harasser and issued a ban from the establishment. Can't do it at work either. Or work conference. Not much left except online.

I'm glad I'm happily married.. it's gotta be tough out there for people in their 20s these days...

[Anonymous]

White woman here, white guys wont approach unless they've had a drink or 2. Ive noticed black guys will come up and talk to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slightly off topicc- I'm a black woman (married) but get hit on through Wirds With Friends. Always white guys. I have to shut off the chat function. It's super creepy. I need to unlink it from Facebook with my photo somehow.

Do people actually meet that way too?

Me too!! I started getting Really creepy messages and had to change my profile picture to A picture of a flower. Just like that- the messages stopped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White woman here, white guys wont approach unless they've had a drink or 2. Ive noticed black guys will come up and talk to me

Wow hopefully this will stop soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White woman here, white guys wont approach unless they've had a drink or 2. Ive noticed black guys will come up and talk to me

Wow hopefully this will stop soon.

Just complain to the manager of the establishment and they'll be banned for harrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White guys don't approach anyone in real life.

Liar

[Anonymous]

Online dating only just started to become a thing when I was younger (think match.com), but prior to that, I found that men would approach me, even if I looked like I was not interested, ie, no eye contact, I was reading a magazine at the beach, and some random guy came up to me and wanted to know what I was reading, and just stood there even as I kind of brushed him off with a quick.. "just a magazine.." ... that is what I think women consider to be "creepy" vibe.

I think both sexes would feel the same way about this...

If a very attractive person started talking to you, you would probably not find it creepy, but if a not so attractive person approached you and started chatting with you, you would probably not like it.

FWIW, I am not white, and the guy was white.

[Anonymous]

I've had white guys approach me. Maybe you don't seem approachable in person? Online they already no you are open to interact.

Online my numbers go up across the board, but that's kinda how these dating apps are supposed to work. It's a numbers game and requires minimal effort from the guy. You swipe and these apps will even supply a sample icebreaker for you.

[Anonymous]

I’m a 29 year old black woman dating a white male for the first time. We were work friends for over a year and early on I realized he was very smart, funny and just very nice. But I had never dated anyone but AA men so I just kept my distance. Then we were chatting at a company social event and I realized that I really liked him and I said it would be fun to get together sometime away from work and he said he’d love to do that. It turned out he felt the same way about me but since he had never dated a AA woman he wasn’t sure how I would react. I said that if I had just met him I’m not sure how I would react but he was already a friend so it was easy. Not to be explicit, but the first time I slept with him it was a shock to see such a white body! I’m sure he felt the same way about me but we have definitely gotten use to it.

[Anonymous]

Black women are statistically the least likely to date outside their race (guilty as charged!). If a non-Black man is interested in a black woman, online might be a less rejection-prone way to gauge her interest.

I am curious about these statistics. I am 56-year-old divorced white man who dated a black woman (post-divorce) for about a year.

The prejudice we encountered from her family was unbelievable.

Her two brothers, both of which had dated white women, gave my girlfriend a hard time because they felt that by dating me, she was sending her daughter the message that black men were not good enough for her. When she asked them what message they sent her nephews when they dated white women, they answered that black women were the core of their families and that if they did not date (and marry) solely black men, it would mean the end of black families.

Her sister wanted to know more about our time together and believe that I was an experiment that my girlfriend would get out of her system. BTW - this sister never said anything like this to her brothers about dating white women.