How much do you pay for in-home care for an infant?

[Anonymous]

Based on your posts and tone in this thread, I'm very, very grateful you are not caring for my child.

[Anonymous]

As a parent who has the utmost respect for her child care providers (currently center-based and previously with a nanny), this thread makes me lose a lot of respect for in-home providers. Perhaps you need a better system for interviewing parents if you are this bitter bc so many seem to try to take advantage of you.

There is often lots of hostility on the nanny forum but this seems worse. The anger and bitterness pours out of your statements (all the DCPs) and your blog (Judy) and while, you claim to love the kids, you speak about them in such a nasty tone.

I do no begrudge you vacation pay, on-time tuition payments, or daily internet use while the childre play or sleep, but I cannot fathom why you stay in the business when you seem so disillusioned with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who has the utmost respect for her child care providers (currently center-based and previously with a nanny), this thread makes me lose a lot of respect for in-home providers. Perhaps you need a better system for interviewing parents if you are this bitter bc so many seem to try to take advantage of you.

There is often lots of hostility on the nanny forum but this seems worse. The anger and bitterness pours out of your statements (all the DCPs) and your blog (Judy) and while, you claim to love the kids, you speak about them in such a nasty tone.

I do no begrudge you vacation pay, on-time tuition payments, or daily internet use while the childre play or sleep, but I cannot fathom why you stay in the business when you seem so disillusioned with it.

Do you even know what the words 'sarcastic and acrimonious' mean? I'm thinking you do NOT.

Judy

[Anonymous]

I'd be more worried about the childcare provider who seems "Sunny" all the time. She's likely not venting frustrations and beating your children as soon as you leave....

I am a happier provider BECAUSE I have somewhere to vent (Judy's blog)

I've learned a LOT from other provider's through Judy's blog. I've learned new craft ideas, how to better my contracts and website, how to deal with new (to me) behaviors, difficult parents, difficult behaviors, etc.

If you look past what you call "bitterness" you will see that the blog is really just humor....you know, when a comedian says something horrific, it's sudden;y funny? Same here. It's the unpleasant truth about ALL day care and day home settings...put it such a way that those of us who read it can laugh about, and know we're not alone.


Lady who's glad I don't watch your child? I'm glad too. But do you really think those who work in a centre, feel differently for your child than an at-home provider? I bet it's just a job to them, I bet they are human too....not snot loving robots =) They probably (ok I KNOW they do) call you evil things behind your back just like anyone of us would do if we knew you had little respect for us as human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a parent who has the utmost respect for her child care providers (currently center-based and previously with a nanny), this thread makes me lose a lot of respect for in-home providers. Perhaps you need a better system for interviewing parents if you are this bitter bc so many seem to try to take advantage of you.

There is often lots of hostility on the nanny forum but this seems worse. The anger and bitterness pours out of your statements (all the DCPs) and your blog (Judy) and while, you claim to love the kids, you speak about them in such a nasty tone.

I do no begrudge you vacation pay, on-time tuition payments, or daily internet use while the childre play or sleep, but I cannot fathom why you stay in the business when you seem so disillusioned with it.

Do you even know what the words 'sarcastic and acrimonious' mean? I'm thinking you do NOT.

Judy

You are thinking wrong. You might think you are only being sarcastic but it comes off incredibly hostile.

[Anonymous]

There is often lots of hostility on the nanny forum but this seems worse. The anger and bitterness pours out of your statements (all the DCPs) and your blog (Judy) and while, you claim to love the kids, you speak about them in such a nasty tone.

My blog is the cumulative voice of many providers and the daily trials and tribulations that they all face. Many times what is said is in the first person but all of those incidences certainly are not happening to me. I am a FAR better business woman to allow half of the parents I blog about have a business relationship with me. But it does allow others to understand that they are not alone. These things I blog about DO happen. Parents DO skip on payment. Parents DO show up an hour late to pick up. Parent DO sign contracts and then later begrudge the provider what is owed in that contract.

To say I (or anyone else ) am bitter because I demand to be respected and be paid and have parents follow a signed contract is ridiculous! And nasty? Oh, so we should just let all of those parents shit on us and we should just skip along with a smile on our face? Good gravy....get back on that train to Pollyannaville my darling.

Judy

[Anonymous]

To Anon above, the hostility comes from the disrespect of parents. As professionals we are able to separate the children from the rudeness of their parents. We are not disillusioned with the business itself... we are sick of parents thinking they own us. If you read Judy's posts carefully you will see that the frustration is with the parents, not the children. For the rest of it I think Jan explained it quite well. Of course this doesn't apply to all parents, we do have some who at least on the outside appear to have a lot of respect for us and what we do, and freely admit they couldn't do it themselves.

And what is my little one doing as I type? Playing happily within my reach. When she moves away from me I have an uncanny ability to stop typing and get up and follow her. Not long before I posted here I was e-mailing the little one's Dad to remind him what he needs to bring for her tomorrow because he tends to forget, and letting him know how her morning has gone.

M2B

[Anonymous]

You know it's sad...because the kids in my care eat better than at home, get the best care here and spend more time with me than their parents. And considering that they love coming back every day, tell me they love me and behave better for me than at home (hence the evidence that I RESPECT them and ask for them to be the best people they can be) I think we can all disern the condescending and sarcastic tone of the highlighted part above.

Lady, you really are sick. Do the parents know that you feel you are doing a better job at raising their kid than they are? Are you really so delusional to think that w/o you they would be wandering the streets, naked and hungry? I saw your point on a lot of your posts, but quite frankly, when you state that you are doing a better job than their parents, that's where I lost any respect I might have had. You really need to get off your high horse. You are running a daycare, not performing open heart surgery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more worried about the childcare provider who seems "Sunny" all the time. She's likely not venting frustrations and beating your children as soon as you leave....

I am a happier provider BECAUSE I have somewhere to vent (Judy's blog)

I've learned a LOT from other provider's through Judy's blog. I've learned new craft ideas, how to better my contracts and website, how to deal with new (to me) behaviors, difficult parents, difficult behaviors, etc.

If you look past what you call "bitterness" you will see that the blog is really just humor....you know, when a comedian says something horrific, it's sudden;y funny? Same here. It's the unpleasant truth about ALL day care and day home settings...put it such a way that those of us who read it can laugh about, and know we're not alone.


Lady who's glad I don't watch your child? I'm glad too. But do you really think those who work in a centre, feel differently for your child than an at-home provider? I bet it's just a job to them, I bet they are human too....not snot loving robots =) They probably (ok I KNOW they do) call you evil things behind your back just like anyone of us would do if we knew you had little respect for us as human beings.

Exactly the opposite - a comedian says something funny, and looking past it you find anger or insight. This? Is just anger and resentment. Looking past it is... more anger and resentment.

There are many, many quality day care workers out there and you do them a disservice implying they're all sitting around whispering evil things about their charges' parents.

[Anonymous]

13:16 here - I really don't think you were trying to be sarcastic or funny, as you try to play it off as. I honestly believe this is how you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You know it's sad...because the kids in my care eat better than at home, get the best care here and spend more time with me than their parents. And considering that they love coming back every day, tell me they love me and behave better for me than at home (hence the evidence that I RESPECT them and ask for them to be the best people they can be) I think we can all disern the condescending and sarcastic tone of the highlighted part above.

Lady, you really are sick. Do the parents know that you feel you are doing a better job at raising their kid than they are? Are you really so delusional to think that w/o you they would be wandering the streets, naked and hungry? I saw your point on a lot of your posts, but quite frankly, when you state that you are doing a better job than their parents, that's where I lost any respect I might have had. You really need to get off your high horse. You are running a daycare, not performing open heart surgery.

You'll have to speak up, I doubt she can hear you from up on that cross.

[Anonymous]

Let me let all of you parents who think that we are bitter in on a few things. We all have days where we are bitter and that is just part of the human condition. Nobody is all sunshine and lollipops all of the time. But more to the point, we all have reasons to feel bitter. I want to share something with all of you. My sister gave birth on September 10th to a little boy named Anthony and he passed away on Sept. 11th. We live about 500 miles apart so I had to close daycare. In my contract, I require that the parents have a back up provider but I have 2 families that don't have a back up, even though they know that they need one. They signed the contract. I went out of my way to help them because they were bitching about not being able to miss work and how this was an inconvenience. My nephew had just died! Then they had the nerve to bitch aboiut who I had to watch their kids. They didn't like her, but had no reason why. They just said that she was "rude". The day that I got back, their first comments to me were complaints. That's not the first time that I have been treated like a servant by selfish parents so am I bitter, you bet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You know it's sad...because the kids in my care eat better than at home, get the best care here and spend more time with me than their parents. And considering that they love coming back every day, tell me they love me and behave better for me than at home (hence the evidence that I RESPECT them and ask for them to be the best people they can be) I think we can all disern the condescending and sarcastic tone of the highlighted part above.

Lady, you really are sick. Do the parents know that you feel you are doing a better job at raising their kid than they are? Are you really so delusional to think that w/o you they would be wandering the streets, naked and hungry? I saw your point on a lot of your posts, but quite frankly, when you state that you are doing a better job than their parents, that's where I lost any respect I might have had. You really need to get off your high horse. You are running a daycare, not performing open heart surgery.

You're right. We are doing open heart surgery - we are doing something FAR more important - helping to raise children! And if you think you can do it so much better (you and every parent who places their child in daycare and shares your sentiment) then why not stay home with them yourself? Why shirk your parental responsibilities off to someone like me who is (your words) angry and bitter and resentful??? Hmm....I'm thinking that as a parent THAT is far more cruel than anything you can accuse me of.

Besides, if you DO use daycare of any sort I can assure you that your provider, if you treat her with the same sentiment you have displayed here, does not think too fondly of you at all. Oh forget it. People like you are so freaking egocentric that you wouldn't see it anyway.Hence the entire reason this topic exists.....

[Anonymous]

Dammit...yeah, that was Judy again above.

[Anonymous]

I am the 12:50 and 13:06 pp

Everyone has some dissatisfaction with their jobs. Its completely normal and can be healthy for people to express this dissatisfaction but you really take it too far. Perhaps bc there is no blanace and you have yet to really say anything nice. In fact, M2b, in 13:07 says "Of course this doesn't apply to all parents, we do have some who at least on the outside appear to have a lot of respect for us and what we do, and freely admit they couldn't do it themselves." and even that statement contains contempt for parents to 1) doubt their sincerity and 2) imply that the parents are only being respectful when they admit they cant care for their own children.