IVF Mixup Case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s horrible from all sides. But I had a pretty negative reaction to the lady who was about herself (my immediate reaction was wasn’t able to bond, feed with her body, blah blah blah). Yes, I get it’s a shock, but you’d hope your first thoughts would be about your baby and not your missed opportunity. Hopefully her journey will develop to an understanding that a child’s mother doesn’t have to be the one to birth them to be a good mother.

I've been interviewed before. It's entirely possible that she did worry about her baby but the reporter didn't include the quote. I wouldn't assume the interview was fully reported.

Yeah, that lady just got a bio baby without the pain and suffering of pregnancy. The multiple pains of pregnancy is what keeps me from having a third child. I would pay $$$ to have a surrogate carry my bio child. Mom doesn’t need to carry the baby to bond with baby. How would dads ever bond with their child according to her thinking?

The Asian couple better get at least $1m for their ordeal. What a nightmare.

Spoken like someone who has successfully given birth. You can't know what this woman is going through because you are not in her shoes. Lucky you that you can decide NOT to have a third child, just like that. Must be nice for it to be so easy to decide not to get pregnant.

I’m not the pp, but for everyone’s sake, let’s not make this about who is suffering more. The people you are responding to are real people, despite this apparent internet anonymity. Yes it is painful for you not to have been able to carry a child, and yes it is also painful for many of us to be able to carry children but also have severe pregnancy complications or severe PPD. I too would love to have a third child handed to me, but my body and marriage and other children would suffer tremendously with a third pregnancy. The first thing I thought with this story was wow, it would be amazing if someone just handed me my own third biological child.

But you/PP are making this about who is suffering more - by implying your suffering as a pregnant mother is worse than this woman's grief at not carrying her child, by insinuating she should fall on her knees in gratitude for a baby she got without having to carry it rather than recognizing her sorrow. I mean, you've basically dismissed her suffering because of your own suffering.

[Anonymous]

What a terrible case. How can things like this happen? We just had a FET and the clinic asks you several times to confirm your name and your partner's name and they ensure it matches before the transfer. That seems like a pretty basic step to ensure mistakes don't happen.

I have a daughter from a FET who is just about 2. No doubt that she's mine, as she's literally a mini-me. But still, it makes you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a terrible case. How can things like this happen? We just had a FET and the clinic asks you several times to confirm your name and your partner's name and they ensure it matches before the transfer. That seems like a pretty basic step to ensure mistakes don't happen.

I have a daughter from a FET who is just about 2. No doubt that she's mine, as she's literally a mini-me. But still, it makes you think.

I think about this all the time. Mix ups do happen, and I think most people kind of/sorry of don't want to know the truth? My baby is the same ethnicity as us, so there's plausible deniability. In my case, I verified that the LABEL on the vial was my name, not that the sperm was my husband's, and not that egg was mine.

[Anonymous]

There are no legal requirements for sperm-egg-uterus chain of custody and that really needs to change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For PPs who suspect children resulted from someone else’s egg, do you suspect an honest mixup? Or the clinic using a donor without your consent to boost success rates? Also, would you ever try to find out who the egg came from?

Honest mix up. I really can't fathom any clinic knowingly doing this. It would be ruinous for the clinic.

I am one of the mothers where two boys look nothing alike or like the parents at all. I am planning on doing this https://www.ssl-status.com/order/c-2/r-20/s-1?pst_id=555&ws_id=12&auth=dda8cf241ce41152e81fcb9c16f3f832 1 mother two children 1 father test.

If you do a genetic test and find out your child isn’t yours, what would you do? Would you tell him? Would you feel an obligation to tell bio parent(s)? Would you be afraid of losing custody? Genuinely curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s horrible from all sides. But I had a pretty negative reaction to the lady who was about herself (my immediate reaction was wasn’t able to bond, feed with her body, blah blah blah). Yes, I get it’s a shock, but you’d hope your first thoughts would be about your baby and not your missed opportunity. Hopefully her journey will develop to an understanding that a child’s mother doesn’t have to be the one to birth them to be a good mother.

I've been interviewed before. It's entirely possible that she did worry about her baby but the reporter didn't include the quote. I wouldn't assume the interview was fully reported.

Yeah, that lady just got a bio baby without the pain and suffering of pregnancy. The multiple pains of pregnancy is what keeps me from having a third child. I would pay $$$ to have a surrogate carry my bio child. Mom doesn’t need to carry the baby to bond with baby. How would dads ever bond with their child according to her thinking?

The Asian couple better get at least $1m for their ordeal. What a nightmare.

Spoken like someone who has successfully given birth. You can't know what this woman is going through because you are not in her shoes. Lucky you that you can decide NOT to have a third child, just like that. Must be nice for it to be so easy to decide not to get pregnant.

I’m not the pp, but for everyone’s sake, let’s not make this about who is suffering more. The people you are responding to are real people, despite this apparent internet anonymity. Yes it is painful for you not to have been able to carry a child, and yes it is also painful for many of us to be able to carry children but also have severe pregnancy complications or severe PPD. I too would love to have a third child handed to me, but my body and marriage and other children would suffer tremendously with a third pregnancy. The first thing I thought with this story was wow, it would be amazing if someone just handed me my own third biological child.

Yeah but this is the INFERTILITY board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For PPs who suspect children resulted from someone else’s egg, do you suspect an honest mixup? Or the clinic using a donor without your consent to boost success rates? Also, would you ever try to find out who the egg came from?

Honest mix up. I really can't fathom any clinic knowingly doing this. It would be ruinous for the clinic.

I am one of the mothers where two boys look nothing alike or like the parents at all. I am planning on doing this https://www.ssl-status.com/order/c-2/r-20/s-1?pst_id=555&ws_id=12&auth=dda8cf241ce41152e81fcb9c16f3f832 1 mother two children 1 father test.

If you do a genetic test and find out your child isn’t yours, what would you do? Would you tell him? Would you feel an obligation to tell bio parent(s)? Would you be afraid of losing custody? Genuinely curious.

I would be very much afraid of losing custody, I doubt I would proceed with litigation or with looking for the bio parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s horrible from all sides. But I had a pretty negative reaction to the lady who was about herself (my immediate reaction was wasn’t able to bond, feed with her body, blah blah blah). Yes, I get it’s a shock, but you’d hope your first thoughts would be about your baby and not your missed opportunity. Hopefully her journey will develop to an understanding that a child’s mother doesn’t have to be the one to birth them to be a good mother.

I’ve never been through fertility treatments, but I imagine if I’d desperately wanted a child, had to subject myself to multiple rounds of unsuccessful IVF, and then out of the blue was told I had a child but someone else had given birth to him and depending on how things went with a court, I might never get to have him, I might have some grief and fear and anger about everything I’d missed out on (and might continue to miss out on if things didn’t go my way). Maybe give just a little credit that when someone has gone through something that shocking and traumatizing, their emotions might be going all over the place and their reaction might not be what you, as a detached, unemotional observer, think is best.

Or, imagine going through IVF and many years of trying, to give birth, to find out they are not your "biological" kids and forced to give them up after carrying them for 9 months.

Which has what relevance to my post? I said nothing critical of the other parents, I did not minimize their grief, I’m merely suggesting that perhaps we shouldn’t judge the emotional reactions of people going through something deeply traumatic that the vast majority of simply have no reference point for. I don’t know why you are so determined to dismiss their emotions that you’d try to deflect the discussion like that. What’s your investment here?

We had something tragic happen to us. You can speculate. For some of us its reality. I don't need to judge. I've been through it. Why do you assume that people haven't experienced something like that.

This woman carried these kids. They were her kids in less she didn't want them. She should have had the right to keep them.

Unless. The word you are looking for here is "unless."

[Anonymous]

This is really tramatic for both parties. I definitely feel for the woman who carried the twins but I agree with the decision. They're the other couple's children, she just knowingly was a surrogate for them. Both couples clearly must have had issues having children, wouldn't you be heartbroken to find out those children of yours were being raised by another couple? If I were in the situation, while it would kill me to give up my babies, I would if it meant the other couple finally got to have their children. I think people sue too much, but this is one case where I definitely think both parties definitely deserve a good 7 figures, more for the woman who carried the babies. These are lab mistakes that literally a sharpie can fix. I worked in manufacturing and we had to get 3 people to check off that the correct products were run. And the worse case scenario there was iff someone ran the wrong thing, it was just wasted time and material. Not someone losing their biological children.


As for those worried about your own personal children, I will say genetics are weird and it probably means nothing that your children don't look alike. I don't think you'd get much out of finding out, unless you want to sue or to just make sure an incompetent lab gets shut down. Even though you'd love your children just the same, I think you'd have to disclose at some point the mistake to your children just for medical reasons. And I'd be too afraid of psychologically what that would do to them. Then again, this is the age of 23 and me so they'd likely find out on their own one day if there was a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Horrifying. Thank goodness I would notice if this happened to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really tramatic for both parties. I definitely feel for the woman who carried the twins but I agree with the decision. They're the other couple's children, she just knowingly was a surrogate for them. Both couples clearly must have had issues having children, wouldn't you be heartbroken to find out those children of yours were being raised by another couple? If I were in the situation, while it would kill me to give up my babies, I would if it meant the other couple finally got to have their children. I think people sue too much, but this is one case where I definitely think both parties definitely deserve a good 7 figures, more for the woman who carried the babies. These are lab mistakes that literally a sharpie can fix. I worked in manufacturing and we had to get 3 people to check off that the correct products were run. And the worse case scenario there was iff someone ran the wrong thing, it was just wasted time and material. Not someone losing their biological children.


As for those worried about your own personal children, I will say genetics are weird and it probably means nothing that your children don't look alike. I don't think you'd get much out of finding out, unless you want to sue or to just make sure an incompetent lab gets shut down. Even though you'd love your children just the same, I think you'd have to disclose at some point the mistake to your children just for medical reasons. And I'd be too afraid of psychologically what that would do to them. Then again, this is the age of 23 and me so they'd likely find out on their own one day if there was a mistake.

If you read the article, the problem wasn't just the twin boys not looking alike; the problem was that the bio parents were white (Armenian, judging by the last name) and the other couple was Asian! Yeah, no s--t every one would wonder how two Asian people managed to produce two white boys that don't resemble each other or their parents...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really tramatic for both parties. I definitely feel for the woman who carried the twins but I agree with the decision. They're the other couple's children, she just knowingly was a surrogate for them. Both couples clearly must have had issues having children, wouldn't you be heartbroken to find out those children of yours were being raised by another couple? If I were in the situation, while it would kill me to give up my babies, I would if it meant the other couple finally got to have their children. I think people sue too much, but this is one case where I definitely think both parties definitely deserve a good 7 figures, more for the woman who carried the babies. These are lab mistakes that literally a sharpie can fix. I worked in manufacturing and we had to get 3 people to check off that the correct products were run. And the worse case scenario there was iff someone ran the wrong thing, it was just wasted time and material. Not someone losing their biological children.


As for those worried about your own personal children, I will say genetics are weird and it probably means nothing that your children don't look alike. I don't think you'd get much out of finding out, unless you want to sue or to just make sure an incompetent lab gets shut down. Even though you'd love your children just the same, I think you'd have to disclose at some point the mistake to your children just for medical reasons. And I'd be too afraid of psychologically what that would do to them. Then again, this is the age of 23 and me so they'd likely find out on their own one day if there was a mistake.

If you read the article, the problem wasn't just the twin boys not looking alike; the problem was that the bio parents were white (Armenian, judging by the last name) and the other couple was Asian! Yeah, no s--t every one would wonder how two Asian people managed to produce two white boys that don't resemble each other or their parents...

That wasn't in response to the mixup case in article. That was in response to PPs who mentioned they didn't think their children were from their own eggs.