Acquaintance said something hateful

[Anonymous]

As a queer progressive, I think there is a big difference between "I wish all those liberal snowflakes would die" and "I wish all those homosexual would die." The former, yes it's rude and imprudent and would make me wonder how much I had in common with the person, but would just make me cautious around that person rather than feeling like I had to cut them off immediately. The latter would be completely unacceptable. I think the difference is that no one is going around executing progressives, so that speech is just hyperbole, but LGBTQ people are targets of violence so that is getting too real.

[Anonymous]

This is a very simple rule of life: Do not become or remain friends with a person who thinks you (or anyone else) should kill themselves.

There really are other people in the world to spend your time with. If you haven't found them yet, it might be because you are associating with this other very toxic person who they do not want to be around.

[Anonymous]

I think this was an extreme comment and would have challenged it in the moment by suggesting it was extreme and then seeing her reaction.

That said, there are 2 scenarios where I have heard similar comments and could agree with the sentiment if not the expression.

Adults leaving unsecured guns which result in the death of a child, particularly an unrelated child. In this case the negligence of the adults caused direct and extreme harm to others.

Anti- vaccination people exposing others to preventable and life- threatening diseases. It is fine if you want to make that choice for your family, but it is on you to prevent yourself from becoming a disease vector to other vulnerable populations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this was an extreme comment and would have challenged it in the moment by suggesting it was extreme and then seeing her reaction.

That said, there are 2 scenarios where I have heard similar comments and could agree with the sentiment if not the expression.

Adults leaving unsecured guns which result in the death of a child, particularly an unrelated child. In this case the negligence of the adults caused direct and extreme harm to others.

Anti- vaccination people exposing others to preventable and life- threatening diseases. It is fine if you want to make that choice for your family, but it is on you to prevent yourself from becoming a disease vector to other vulnerable populations.

Agreed, this is just an awful way to speak of anyone in almost any context. But, I also wouldntbimpute her inappropriateness to the rest of the group. It’s just a gross comment. Sometimes people say really dumb things so it’s possible she’s bit as horrible as this seems, but I’d definitely be skeptical, and, yes, I have big problems with Trump supporters, but my goodness, I don’t want them to kill themselves.

[Anonymous]

I'm still confused from page 1. The person who said is is the queen bee of the group referred to but is not part of the group? Or something?

I don't know, OP I don't know very many people (my closest people either live too far to see often and some of the most significant have passed away in recent years, long before that would ever have been thinkable), I do know some people who have some obnoxious traits but I'm ok around because they are related or have been in my life for too long, I guess if it was people I did not have a history with I would not maintain contact.

[Anonymous]

Are you deplorable?

[Anonymous]

For god’s sake just tell us what she said. I hate these cryptic posts just say it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a queer progressive, I think there is a big difference between "I wish all those liberal snowflakes would die" and "I wish all those homosexual would die." The former, yes it's rude and imprudent and would make me wonder how much I had in common with the person, but would just make me cautious around that person rather than feeling like I had to cut them off immediately. The latter would be completely unacceptable. I think the difference is that no one is going around executing progressives, so that speech is just hyperbole, but LGBTQ people are targets of violence so that is getting too real.

No, there isn't any 'big difference'. Ever hear of Heather Heyer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the kind of thing that you need to speak up about immediately when it happens - nip it in the bud.

Also, how old are you? You mentioned that she was the "Queen Bee" and I feel like I'm reading the script from Mean Girls.

The expression actually comes from the book "Queen Bee's & Wannabes", which was the basis for the movie.

For those of you with daughter's going into middle school or high school... don't walk, you need to RUN to get this book!

Queen Bee's & Wannabes helps you dissect & define all of the social roles that teenage girls play in a typical friend group (ie; the queen bee, the wannabe, the hero, the sidekick, the banker, the messenger, the target, the torn bystander, etc). It also helps explain how to teach your daughter to maneuver through school with the least amount of drama possible.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1101903058/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_LpwlDbPSS3WVA

The author also wrote the same book in relation to boys, it's called "Masterminds & Wingmen".

I'm sorry I temporarily hijacked your thread OP, but now that I think about it, you would actually benefit from reading this book too... especially if you're having a hard time making friends.

I mean if you think about it, young bitchy girls don't change they just turn into middle aged bitchy women, right? Another thing that never really changes is our social role in friend groups, so this book is great for women of all ages & it will help OP determine which role she plays.

Good luck OP, I hope you make some genuine friends soon.

(Hugs)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this particular discussion forum (DCUM) is unsympathetic to both conservatives and people who believe in vaccine choice. It's based in DC and so not much independent thought is going on here.

Good grief.
Are you reading the cliffsnotes version to skim through this thread?? Nowhere did OP say that she was a Republican or anti-vaxxer, those were just guesses from the peanut gallery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you deplorable?

Yea, took me two seconds to realize the queen bee was joking about trump supporters or republicans.

I would have said, "hey now, I'm a republican though I'm not the biggest fan of Trump" and smiled like it was all just a joke. You'll probably be OK in terms of continuing on in the group unless are a trump supporter; in that care you are going to have to find a new group. Liberals will accept republicans bit not trump supporters.