Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?

[Anonymous]

All that money OP paid for airfare, housing, clothing and other expenses could have been donated to buy supplies and labor. If OP wanted her kid to learn to drywall, she'd be teaching her. That's to look good on a resume. No one cares..any college will see right through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pick her up. The service part is over.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

PP. I’m the OP you know jacksh*t about us. You don’t know that my daughter has struggled with serious depression and anxiety and has been in and out of therapy. You don’t know that her grandmother died three weeks ago. You don’t know that she has spent most of her life with a deployed father. You don’t know that she has moved eight times in ten years. You don’t know that we’re a blue collar family. You don’t know that she’s spending the second half of her summer working. You don’t know that during the school year she helps out in a shelter for homeless families. All you are doing here is displaying your own narrowness and self-righteousness. Your ready assumption that anyone posting here is “privileged” suggests that you yourself could use a little time outside your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Pick her up early but make sure she includes that in her college essay about the rewarding, eye opening, ung, humbling service experience.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Poverty tourism makes me sick. It was a stupid idea in the first place.

Your self-righteousness must give you an upset stomach quite a lot. My guess is it gives others an upset stomach too.

So... you think privileged kids should NOT try to learn anything about the world outside their privileged bubbles? They should just, what, sit at home and hope someone different from themselves will show up at their door and explain how the world works? Or maybe not bother, and just live their lives in happy obliviousness of the fact that right on our country, many people struggle? Assuming we want even privileged kids to grow up to work for social and economic justice, what exactly do you think should happen to magically transform them into socially responsible adults? They can’t do actual tourism because that is bratty. They can’t do community service because you regard that as exploitative. So you suggest... what, exactly? Please educate us, oh wise one.

DP- community service isn’t the same thing as unskilled kids trying to do the work of skilled tradespeople. Poor people deserve a well built home. Their needs are more than just a “teaching moment” for your entitled teen.

+100

If you truly have a shit about doing service or having your teen understand not everyone lives a privileged life you’d have them volunteering in your own community—or maybe the next one over if you’ve really secluded yourself with the elites. There are plenty of opportunities to sort donated goods at shelters, serve food, clean up and do things less “cool” than attempt to build a house with no skills. If you think you need to send your kid on some big trip just to see that poor people exist then you aren’t doing much to teach them about their own privilege.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

PP. I’m the OP you know jacksh*t about us. You don’t know that my daughter has struggled with serious depression and anxiety and has been in and out of therapy. You don’t know that her grandmother died three weeks ago. You don’t know that she has spent most of her life with a deployed father. You don’t know that she has moved eight times in ten years. You don’t know that we’re a blue collar family. You don’t know that she’s spending the second half of her summer working. You don’t know that during the school year she helps out in a shelter for homeless families. All you are doing here is displaying your own narrowness and self-righteousness. Your ready assumption that anyone posting here is “privileged” suggests that you yourself could use a little time outside your bubble.

A blue collar family that can afford a service trip? How much was this trip, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Blue collar doesn’t always mean poor. Dad is military, if he isn’t an officer, that qualifies as blue collar. Mom could be a teacher or a cop or a million other things where they can afford one service trip (esp w DD working the second half of the summer) and still be blue collar. To think that no blue collar family could afford a service trip is... removed from reality.

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

PP. I’m the OP you know jacksh*t about us. You don’t know that my daughter has struggled with serious depression and anxiety and has been in and out of therapy. You don’t know that her grandmother died three weeks ago. You don’t know that she has spent most of her life with a deployed father. You don’t know that she has moved eight times in ten years. You don’t know that we’re a blue collar family. You don’t know that she’s spending the second half of her summer working. You don’t know that during the school year she helps out in a shelter for homeless families. All you are doing here is displaying your own narrowness and self-righteousness. Your ready assumption that anyone posting here is “privileged” suggests that you yourself could use a little time outside your bubble.

A blue collar family that can afford a service trip? How much was this trip, OP?

[Anonymous]

Blue collar doesn’t mean poor, you imbecile.
- not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

PP. I’m the OP you know jacksh*t about us. You don’t know that my daughter has struggled with serious depression and anxiety and has been in and out of therapy. You don’t know that her grandmother died three weeks ago. You don’t know that she has spent most of her life with a deployed father. You don’t know that she has moved eight times in ten years. You don’t know that we’re a blue collar family. You don’t know that she’s spending the second half of her summer working. You don’t know that during the school year she helps out in a shelter for homeless families. All you are doing here is displaying your own narrowness and self-righteousness. Your ready assumption that anyone posting here is “privileged” suggests that you yourself could use a little time outside your bubble.

A blue collar family that can afford a service trip? How much was this trip, OP?

Blue collar doesn’t always mean poor. Dad is military, if he isn’t an officer, that qualifies as blue collar. Mom could be a primary school teacher or a cop or a million other things where they can afford one service trip (esp w DD working the second half of the summer) and still be blue collar. To think that no blue collar family could afford a service trip is... removed from relaity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, why exactly are you assuming OP does not already do that? The community service at home and a short summer service trip are not mutually exclusive. Check you self-righteousness. You don’t know this family or this program.

Different PP, but I’m going to say that if this kid was regulary part of a church service group, she would likely have friends, or at least know some of the other kids casually. Church service groups aren’t usually sending the highest bidder, but rather, a group of kids with a track record of desire to service.

I’m sorry, but most of these “service trips” are exactly what PP called them: poverty tourism. To me, these trips smack of the same kind of privileged faux help that gets doled out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s more about SAYING they helped, than if the people they were “servicing” were actually helped.

Because if you helped and no one cool / in your friend circle / desirable knew about it, did you really help at all?

"Different PP," why don't you start a thread debating the pros and cons of different types of service programs instead of making assumptions about this one and bashing OP?

Well, OP is considering pulling her child due to her “happiness”.

I would think a child who has just spend days building homes for the impoverished would now understand a thing or two about inconvenience, hardship, and happiness.

Basically, that there is a consideration to bring her home at all tells me this wasn’t about service at all.

OP can now feel proud that she paid money to a company making a profit, to let her daughter sit in a hotel room for a week. That money could have gone to teaching people in the community how to frame, drywall, and finish homes, but it’s going to putting privileged kids, who will never use those skills again, up for lodging. That, and making the company a profit.

I love how DCUM is so “evidence based”, until it’s inconvenient to be so.

PP. I’m the OP you know jacksh*t about us. You don’t know that my daughter has struggled with serious depression and anxiety and has been in and out of therapy. You don’t know that her grandmother died three weeks ago. You don’t know that she has spent most of her life with a deployed father. You don’t know that she has moved eight times in ten years. You don’t know that we’re a blue collar family. You don’t know that she’s spending the second half of her summer working. You don’t know that during the school year she helps out in a shelter for homeless families. All you are doing here is displaying your own narrowness and self-righteousness. Your ready assumption that anyone posting here is “privileged” suggests that you yourself could use a little time outside your bubble.

Ah, the usual DCUM post and switch / escalate details when people don’t agree with you tactic.

If your new details are true, OP, I can’t understand why you would be crowdsourcing this question instead of looking after your child’s obviously tenuous mental health.

[Anonymous]

OP, if your child has struggled with serious depression and anxiety I would pick her up.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a good learning experience to teach her about commitment. Also, she needs to learn that not every part of a job is fun. I would make her stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if your child has struggled with serious depression and anxiety I would pick her up.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Blue collar doesn’t mean poor, you imbecile.
- not OP

Jesus Christ OP. Just go get her then.