Would you let your teen cut short a service trip b/c unhappy?

[Anonymous]

Is this like a church group of teens going to a fairly close rural area? Or something done by a tour company?

[Anonymous]

OP here. The trip is supposed to end with a pickup at 9am Friday. I told her DH would pick her up Thursday evening. That way she stays through the “closing ceremony” stuff with the group but will get sprung 12 hours early. Apparently several other kids are also getting picked up Thursday evening so things are pretty much over after that. She was not too happy but is sucking it up....

I’m not as negative about service trips as some people here are. It depends on the nature of the trip, obviously. In this one, the kids were working with an established NGO providing the unskilled labor. She learned how to put up drywall, frame windows, paint, use a drill, and so on. These are useful skills for a girl to have, and they learned a fair amount about the socioeconomic context in the neighborhood they worked in. Aside from disorganized counselors and a couple of mean girls, it seems like a good program.

I think kids need to learn to: spend time away from home; deal with new and sometimes annoying people; learn new skills, learn that there are many people both in the US and elsewhere who face struggles they do not face; discover that they can learn from strangers, etc. Well-run service trips that work in appropriate and respectful ways with local NGOS can do all those things, and provide local groups with free labor. Are there poorly run trips that are basically tourism for privileged kids and offer no benefit for local communities? Sure. But not all service trips are like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've probably made up your mind already but you said she made one close friend. I am going to assume the close friend feels the same way your daughter does about this trip.

That would really suck for the friend if your daughter just up and left and left her alone for the rest of the trip. How would your daughter feel if her close friend did that to her?

It’s ok to feel negative feelings. It’s necessary, even. How will they learn to cope when horrible stuff happens to them as an adult? They need to have a Plan B in place and know they can survive these setbacks. It gives them confidence and lets them see how resilient they are.

[Anonymous]

This thread is baffling to me. I guess the 1% really are different.

[Anonymous]

Not getting her teachers her she cannot rely on her parents to get her out of a bad situation. She's 15.

It's not "a bad situation". It's not a dangerous situation. She's bored. Too bad.
Maybe she learns the importance of evaluating "opportunities" in the future.
For now, she digs deep and should try to make the situation better, in some small way. Or some big way.

[Anonymous]

You’ve never heard of church or school service trips? They are very common, and hardly just the 1%.

[Anonymous]

The church pays the lower income areas to allow unskilled teenagers to build things. The lower income need $$ more than unskilled labor. It’s an odd dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve never heard of church or school service trips? They are very common, and hardly just the 1%.

I've never heard of leaving one early because of boredom. There are many posters who thinks l that's reasonable. Baffling.

[Anonymous]

Raising quitters is bad.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if you’re u actually read the initial post but OP said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if you’re u actually read the initial post but OP said no.

OP said yes.

[Anonymous]

I would pick her up. The service part is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to have a talk with the leader to find out what they will be doing over the next few days. If the answer is "nothing," pick her up. It would be foolish of her to stay.

She could immediately, upon her return home, go volunteer somewhere else where they need a warm body. Food kitchen or food pantry, etc.

This. I would have her get confirmation of the rest of the itinerary, or contact the group for it. If they are truly “done” I would have no issue picking her up and telling the organization that my child was there to be doing productive service and since they were not providing the opportunities they said they would, she would be leaving early to find other opportunities. They need to be accountable..

Agree. Maybe the daughter is exaggerating but it's surprising to me that so many people would be ok leaving their kid with a "bait and switch" organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if you’re u actually read the initial post but OP said no.

OP said yes.

Op said no to leaving days early, ok to leave the night before the scheduled morning pickup, since other kids were also leaving the night before. Leaving a two week trip 12 hours early when a lot of kids are doing the same is very different from letting a kid leave the trip mid way through.

[Anonymous]

Poverty tourism makes me sick. It was a stupid idea in the first place.