Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband to take our kids to their swim lesson this morning. My parents are in town and they asked to go too.

My husband takes me aside this morning and says that I need to tell my parents they can't go, because if he's going to take the kids to the lesson, he gets to decide who comes.

I asked if he could just grin and bear it so I didn't have to uninvite my parents, and he got really angry and said fine, he'd do it, but he wanted to register his displeasure etc etc.

So now I have a couple hours home alone but feel like shit because he made such a huge deal about it and we got in an argument.

DH is normally a great father and husband so this feels like a gut punch.

Oh well.

What’s the back story? Why does he care if your parents go to watch a boring swim lesson? Does he hate your parents?

[Anonymous]

He was planning on just checking out on his phone during the swim lessons and now he has to make conversation with the inlaws. Just my guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is never a good day for me. I’m a single parent so nothing “special” is ever done.

You deserve something special! Hire a sitter and schedule a massage or take the kids out for pedicures.

I know you're trying to be nice. I think many people don't realize that some of us truly do not have an extra dollar available. Literally everything is budgeted. I cancelled cable, but have to have the internet at home for kids homework--i know people who go to the library for that. I don't eat out and my lunch at my desk costs about 75 cents. The rainy day fund ends up going to school field trips or doctor visits.

[Anonymous]

I'm a fellow single mom whose financial situation is truly dire - you have to celebrate yourself!!

Put together a photo collage with digital photos and post it if you use social media. Thank the members of your "village" who help you.

Do a little project together with your kids with stuff in the house. Make that be your special gift. They will love doing it with you. Take photos. Keep a gratitude journal and read some of it every Mother's Day

Today it's pouring rain so can't do this - but just enjoying a special day outside listening to birds or having a picnic is a traditional no-cost no-clutter-creating option for Mother's Day.

Seize joy every day and keep congratulating yourself for your hard work and loving care.

[Anonymous]

Ex DH did not help kids get me a gift or card. Asshole tried to go in on the gift I got for HIS mom too! Oh well. I have loving and great kids and get to spend time with my own mom, so I am just trying to focus on that and raise a thoughtful generation of sons for the future.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it’s a Hallmark holiday but parenting has been a shitkicking experience for us- so bring in the hallmark.
We are traveling and we spent today @ pool. Next weekend I am taking an extended yin yoga class. #winning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is my submissive. I expect that he will try, but he will disappoint me in some way and need to be punished.

Wish you would peg me...

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why women get into a twist over Mother's Day. It's just stupid. (And yes, I'm a mom of teens.)

[Anonymous]

My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer Friday. We have a one and three year old. I’m eating a cupcake in the car. Nothing else matters right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer Friday. We have a one and three year old. I’m eating a cupcake in the car. Nothing else matters right now.

Go on another thread buddy

[Anonymous]

So after every year of feeling disappointed, I told DH straight up what I want. I want him to plan a night out for just us or with friends or whatever. DH has been traveling a lot lately and has had lots of time with his friends and my friends just can’t get it together right now to go out (that’s a topic for another thread). So I told DH I want him to take the reins and plan something. He knows the restaurants I like, the musicians I like etc. We have my parents locally who love to take the kids. But it’s always left to me to plan to go out and unless I plan it then it doesn’t happen. Meanwhile DH can plan weekends away with his friends no problem.

So what did I get? A handwritten IOU on a piece of printer paper for a new purse. I don’t want or need a new purse. He couldn’t have even taken the time to get me a gift card to an actual store or Amazon or whatever. Just a note scrawled on a piece of paper.

Oh, and he completely ruined the morning by picking a power struggle with our 7 year old and giving him a consequence that I completely disagree with, but I couldn’t take back or it would have completely undermined him.

Know what DH does for Fathers Day? A day of golf with all his friends where they get drunk and then come home to a BBQ with family that I plan and host.

Know what I’m doing next year for Mother’s Day? Going away by myself to do something I enjoy and not sitting around waiting to be disappointed by DH yet again. The hardest part is seeing how he’s setting such a low bar for our kids to learn from. Everyone else’s birthdays and special days get celebrated because I’m the driving force behind them. But my special days get a last minute IOU scrawled on a piece of printer paper. So the kids see that mom/wife isn’t worth a proper celebration. Lovely.

TLDR: I finally asked for exactly what I want instead of hoping he’d get it right but he still couldn’t give any effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So after every year of feeling disappointed, I told DH straight up what I want. I want him to plan a night out for just us or with friends or whatever. DH has been traveling a lot lately and has had lots of time with his friends and my friends just can’t get it together right now to go out (that’s a topic for another thread). So I told DH I want him to take the reins and plan something. He knows the restaurants I like, the musicians I like etc. We have my parents locally who love to take the kids. But it’s always left to me to plan to go out and unless I plan it then it doesn’t happen. Meanwhile DH can plan weekends away with his friends no problem.

So what did I get? A handwritten IOU on a piece of printer paper for a new purse. I don’t want or need a new purse. He couldn’t have even taken the time to get me a gift card to an actual store or Amazon or whatever. Just a note scrawled on a piece of paper.

Oh, and he completely ruined the morning by picking a power struggle with our 7 year old and giving him a consequence that I completely disagree with, but I couldn’t take back or it would have completely undermined him.

Know what DH does for Fathers Day? A day of golf with all his friends where they get drunk and then come home to a BBQ with family that I plan and host.

Know what I’m doing next year for Mother’s Day? Going away by myself to do something I enjoy and not sitting around waiting to be disappointed by DH yet again. The hardest part is seeing how he’s setting such a low bar for our kids to learn from. Everyone else’s birthdays and special days get celebrated because I’m the driving force behind them. But my special days get a last minute IOU scrawled on a piece of printer paper. So the kids see that mom/wife isn’t worth a proper celebration. Lovely.

TLDR: I finally asked for exactly what I want instead of hoping he’d get it right but he still couldn’t give any effort. [/quote
The day isn’t over...go have dinner at the bar of one of your favorite restaurants, invite your friends over for a glass of champagne or head to your friend’s house with a bottle. Hi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is never a good day for me. I’m a single parent so nothing “special” is ever done.

You deserve something special! Hire a sitter and schedule a massage or take the kids out for pedicures.

I know you're trying to be nice. I think many people don't realize that some of us truly do not have an extra dollar available. Literally everything is budgeted. I cancelled cable, but have to have the internet at home for kids homework--i know people who go to the library for that. I don't eat out and my lunch at my desk costs about 75 cents. The rainy day fund ends up going to school field trips or doctor visits.

This. Part of the problem is I just want someone else to plan stuff. I plan all vacations, meals, bills, health insurance, activity schedules etc. someone else do something for once!! Also, while my ex is living on the beach the last time he paid child support was March and it was $59. Barely enough to cover dance shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So after every year of feeling disappointed, I told DH straight up what I want. I want him to plan a night out for just us or with friends or whatever. DH has been traveling a lot lately and has had lots of time with his friends and my friends just can’t get it together right now to go out (that’s a topic for another thread). So I told DH I want him to take the reins and plan something. He knows the restaurants I like, the musicians I like etc. We have my parents locally who love to take the kids. But it’s always left to me to plan to go out and unless I plan it then it doesn’t happen. Meanwhile DH can plan weekends away with his friends no problem.

So what did I get? A handwritten IOU on a piece of printer paper for a new purse. I don’t want or need a new purse. He couldn’t have even taken the time to get me a gift card to an actual store or Amazon or whatever. Just a note scrawled on a piece of paper.

Oh, and he completely ruined the morning by picking a power struggle with our 7 year old and giving him a consequence that I completely disagree with, but I couldn’t take back or it would have completely undermined him.

Know what DH does for Fathers Day? A day of golf with all his friends where they get drunk and then come home to a BBQ with family that I plan and host.

Know what I’m doing next year for Mother’s Day? Going away by myself to do something I enjoy and not sitting around waiting to be disappointed by DH yet again. The hardest part is seeing how he’s setting such a low bar for our kids to learn from. Everyone else’s birthdays and special days get celebrated because I’m the driving force behind them. But my special days get a last minute IOU scrawled on a piece of printer paper. So the kids see that mom/wife isn’t worth a proper celebration. Lovely.

TLDR: I finally asked for exactly what I want instead of hoping he’d get it right but he still couldn’t give any effort. [/quote
The day isn’t over...go have dinner at the bar of one of your favorite restaurants, invite your friends over for a glass of champagne or head to your friend’s house with a bottle. Hi

No can do. We have to go to dinner at my mom’s house where there will be very little for me to eat. Friends all have their own plans, so that’s not an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer Friday. We have a one and three year old. I’m eating a cupcake in the car. Nothing else matters right now.

Go on another thread buddy

Stay right here! I like to be reminded of how good we have it - gratitude is an awesome thing and we all get swept up in the petty things. Hang in there PP (DH with colon cancer) and wishing you the best.