Thread for griping about Mother’s Day not meeting expectations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband to take our kids to their swim lesson this morning. My parents are in town and they asked to go too.

My husband takes me aside this morning and says that I need to tell my parents they can't go, because if he's going to take the kids to the lesson, he gets to decide who comes.

I asked if he could just grin and bear it so I didn't have to uninvite my parents, and he got really angry and said fine, he'd do it, but he wanted to register his displeasure etc etc.

So now I have a couple hours home alone but feel like shit because he made such a huge deal about it and we got in an argument.

DH is normally a great father and husband so this feels like a gut punch.

Oh well.

What’s the back story? Why does he care if your parents go to watch a boring swim lesson? Does he hate your parents?

My Dad asked if he could take my 1 yo in the water for the "baby and me" lesson, and DH thought it was going to be a disaster, and thought the 4 year old would be jealous or something. Turned out everything went great. DH texted and apologized during the lessons and Mother's Day improved from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, we all know it’s coming. Why wait?

His father never did anything for his wife so neither does my husband. Mothers day, Xmas, birthdays - nothing. At least he's consistent! Constantly thoughtless, self-centered, and unthankful year round!

Yeah, no. It's not your FIL's fault that your husband hasn't picked up through social cues and genuine innate thoughtfulness how grown-ass adults treat the ones they love.

Why did you actively choose to marry him? Surely you had birthdays and Christmas while you were dating. And if you knew who he was going in, you don't get to complain now.

he's from europe, had minimal time together with his folks before marrying.

Nope, I was his hyperfocus in grad school and got gifts and a lot of time and attention from him. Now he’s overwhelmed- work, wife, kids, parents, house, two cars, nanny to manage, schedules, etc. Even those don’t make the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He blamed me for not watching our kid so he could go to the store and get a gift. Today. He’s also not said a word of appreciation, helped with kid, and has been moody all day. Oh yeah, and he slept in and asked private time.

Wow. I wouldn't let this go and would suggest marriage counseling. This kind of selfishness would lead me to a divorce lawyer.

[Anonymous]

I have a great relationship with my DH. Don't need a holiday for some BS platitudes. We went to church, I exercised, and we laid around the house watching TV, since it was raining.

Oh and I buy myself flowers each week. I love having the in the house.

[Anonymous]

More martyrs here than in an ISIS training camp.

[Anonymous]

On Mother's Day, I was a mom! Hung out with my kids and did the normal stuff. Ex-DH wished me a happy Mother's Day, and so did my boyfriend, and so did a bunch of my girlfriends and family members. Yay, people love me. Went to bed early and called it a day. What do you people want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Mother's Day, I was a mom! Hung out with my kids and did the normal stuff. Ex-DH wished me a happy Mother's Day, and so did my boyfriend, and so did a bunch of my girlfriends and family members. Yay, people love me. Went to bed early and called it a day. What do you people want?

That would have been enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband to take our kids to their swim lesson this morning. My parents are in town and they asked to go too.

My husband takes me aside this morning and says that I need to tell my parents they can't go, because if he's going to take the kids to the lesson, he gets to decide who comes.

I asked if he could just grin and bear it so I didn't have to uninvite my parents, and he got really angry and said fine, he'd do it, but he wanted to register his displeasure etc etc.

So now I have a couple hours home alone but feel like shit because he made such a huge deal about it and we got in an argument.

DH is normally a great father and husband so this feels like a gut punch.

Oh well.

What’s the back story? Why does he care if your parents go to watch a boring swim lesson? Does he hate your parents?

NP here. Put the shoe on the other foot and I’d have been super pissed at DH. But then again I don’t like my inlaws because they are annoying AF. I don’t spend time with them without DH present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my husband to take our kids to their swim lesson this morning. My parents are in town and they asked to go too.

My husband takes me aside this morning and says that I need to tell my parents they can't go, because if he's going to take the kids to the lesson, he gets to decide who comes.

I asked if he could just grin and bear it so I didn't have to uninvite my parents, and he got really angry and said fine, he'd do it, but he wanted to register his displeasure etc etc.

So now I have a couple hours home alone but feel like shit because he made such a huge deal about it and we got in an argument.

DH is normally a great father and husband so this feels like a gut punch.

Oh well.

What’s the back story? Why does he care if your parents go to watch a boring swim lesson? Does he hate your parents?

NP here. Put the shoe on the other foot and I’d have been super pissed at DH. But then again I don’t like my inlaws because they are annoying AF. I don’t spend time with them without DH present.

But you would have sucked it up on Father’s Day, I assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer Friday. We have a one and three year old. I’m eating a cupcake in the car. Nothing else matters right now.

Go on another thread buddy

Dude, I think it's perfectly fair to say that this Mother's Day isn't meeting her expectations. Let her alone. PP, I wish you and your family the best.

[Anonymous]

Just a vent that our Saturday argument carried into Sunday. I don’t have high expectations and I’m not a huge celebrator. However being awkward and angry and faking it was pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is never a good day for me. I’m a single parent so nothing “special” is ever done.

I assume your children are out of ES where they make something for Mother's day at school.

"Next year for Mother's Day, we are going to go out for breakfast. " Then tell them two week prior, "I made breakfast reservations at xxxxx for Mother's Day. I would like you to make me a card." If they are older, "I would like you to pick some flowers from the yard and put them in a vase and give them to me." or :Here is $20, go into Trader Joes and buy some flowers for Mother's Day."

If you had a partner, this would be their job. Make it what you want, some kids have to be taught specifically.

In few years, they will get the hang of it.

[Anonymous]

Here's what my husband did for mother's day: Nothing. Literally nothing. He did not even utter the words "happy mother's day." I would have to say that I set a very low bar. I don't expect flowers (HE doesn't like flowers) or a gift or to be taken out for a nice meal. I would like him to say something nice to me. About being a mother. Not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

It was perfect. Got some homemade cards from the kids plus some grocery store flowers they picked out, and because it was raining, all sports were cancelled, woohoo! Also, DH made dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On Mother's Day, I was a mom! Hung out with my kids and did the normal stuff. Ex-DH wished me a happy Mother's Day, and so did my boyfriend, and so did a bunch of my girlfriends and family members. Yay, people love me. Went to bed early and called it a day. What do you people want?

I want that.