Husband doesn’t want to adopt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you tried for #2? What is the objection to IUI or taking clomid to increase chances? Why not at least get tested yourself to rule out fertility issues coming from yourself

We’ve been trying for four months, which sounds ridiculously short, but I got pregnant on the first try with no. 1. My OBGYN did the initial bloodwork, which was normal “for my age.” (Not really sure if that is good or bad.) OBGYN thought we could do the ultrasound part, but her sense was that it would come back unexplained. Husband doesn’t want to have his sperm tested. I’m more willing to just pursue what the problems could be and hear about possible treatment options. Husband is not willing.

You need to see a fertility specialist if you want real answers about yourself and your chances. And 4 months is nothing.

Husband doesn’t want to see a fertility specialist. He wants to get pregnant naturally, or not at all. I would be willing to see a fertility specialist. I’d like to know if our chances are terrible, for example, we could stop having sex on a schedule.

Ok, I was with him on changing his mind on adoption, as after experiencing parenthood, one's thoughts can change. Just anecdotally, I thought adoption in the abstract when I was young and single and was for it, then I got married, dealt with all that is parenting, and now I don't want it for myself and would never push it on my husband if he were the one against it. When it comes to adoption, both parents absolutely have to be full on board.

Anyway, I don't understand him PUSHING for a second child, at the same time being against fertility AND adoption. He's closing basically all doors and leaving it to big odds. If you keep on trying, yes you could pregnant naturally. But what if that takes time and you get pregnant at 41? Isn't it better to get pregnant sooner than later? Friend unexpectedly got pregnant with her third child at 41. She's going to be 60 by the time the kid goes to college, her DH 65. It's not ideal.

Btw, if you go down the fertility treatments, at your age (like they did to me), doctors might tell you to skip IUI and go straight to IVF to same time, money, frustration, hassle, heartache. I totally agree on this one.