Do you tell guys to date women they’re not attracted to?

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard both men and women being told to be less picky. I haven’t heard women being told to date men that they don’t find attractive, and I don’t think that would be a good idea anyway.

In fairness, men are generally only picky about looks and flexible about everything else. They don’t typically have height or income requirements like women do.

[Anonymous]

I tell everyone - men and women - (if asked) - that if they are unhappily single, they should think about ways in which they are narrowing their dating pool unnecessarily.

For example, if you are a fat, short, bald dude, you're probably not going to be pulling supermodels unless you are super wealthy. So you might need to look at women who are not 10's.

Same for women. If you are a normal woman of normal attractiveness and a normal personality, you may need to broaden your search from just guys over 6' tall who have fantastic hair, hot faces and $200k salaries. You might need to give the balding (but cute) guy a chance or consider the 5'9" dude (if you're 5'4", who cares). Because so many women are looking for that tall/dark/handsome unicorn and there are only so many of them, sticking on that is a recipe for failure.

[Anonymous]

Man here that prefers a chest on the smaller side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

In my 20s there was a tremendous amount of pressure to have a bf/fiancé/somehow be working towards marriage, so standards were lower. My friends and I all dated some real losers.

Once I hit 30 I was done dealing with men’s B.S. If I was going to compromise my life for someone, they had to be amazing.

The problem with that strategy is that you are demanding that men be more amazing at the same time as YOU have become less amazing. You expect increasingly attractive (in terms of status and income) men to cater to the whims of an increasingly less attractive (physically) woman. It should be obvious that the math doesn't work there.

You're forgetting that I didn't care if I was in a relationship or not. The only strategy was to better my own life and enjoy it with or without a man.

Funny thing is, the pickier I was, the more high quality men were interested in me, and I married a great guy despite being "less attractive" than I was in my 20s. If I were to get divorced, I'd be totally fine with being single. I don't need a husband for status or income, those are easy enough to earn myself.

[Anonymous]

"Do you tell them they should give the woman with frizzy hair, glasses, plainly dressed, and small chested a chance because she’s smitten with him and will make a kinder, and more loving mate than the fashionista who thinks she’s gods gift?"


Society tells men this ALL THE TIME. This is premise of SO MANY rom coms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Do you tell them they should give the woman with frizzy hair, glasses, plainly dressed, and small chested a chance because she’s smitten with him and will make a kinder, and more loving mate than the fashionista who thinks she’s gods gift?"


Society tells men this ALL THE TIME. This is premise of SO MANY rom coms.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Dating someone you are not physically attracted to is guaranteed to be a failure.

Physical attraction is what differentiates a lover from a friend.

Period.

[Anonymous]

Op is venting because she regrets marrying a man she falsely regards as not good enough for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The men I know are very picky. I know many men in their 30s who complain about being single, but are extremely critical of looks and won't settle for anything less than an 8, even though many of them are a 5 at best.

If it f4cks, floats, or flies---rent, don't buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more dealbreakers than men. This is just a matter of fact.

Be less picky, single women. Single men, on average, already are less picky.

Here's a man's checklist:

Do you give me an erection?
Are you not a bitch?

That's pretty much it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have a friend like this. He’s not physically attractive, makes little money and has no savings, and literally lives in his mom’s basement. Yet he only wants beautiful, thin, blonde women and complains that they aren’t interested because he’s too “nice”.

Bullshit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Do you tell them they should give the woman with frizzy hair, glasses, plainly dressed, and small chested a chance because she’s smitten with him and will make a kinder, and more loving mate than the fashionista who thinks she’s gods gift?"


Society tells men this ALL THE TIME. This is premise of SO MANY rom coms.

Nope.

+1

Those movies aren’t aiming their message toward men. They are selling women the fantasy that if they get contacts and a Brazilian blowout they can win the sweet, hunky guy away from the shallow supermodel.

No one thinks that men actually work that way.

[Anonymous]

Men would be much more willing to date someone they aren't instantly attracted to if women would put even a tiny bit of effort into dating. Instead, because women are entitled, they feel entitled to sit on their hands and wait for men to do everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men would be much more willing to date someone they aren't instantly attracted to if women would put even a tiny bit of effort into dating. Instead, because women are entitled, they feel entitled to sit on their hands and wait for men to do everything.

This is a tad MRAish, but there is a kernel of truth here in that since society puts the impetus on men to do the approaching and wooing, it’s really mostly women that act as gatekeepers. An average looking women will still get hit on (unlike an average looking man) so it’s safe to assume that any halfway decent looking single woman is single because she is rejecting the men who show interest.