S/O what do you consider “haves”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

Around here? Yes it’s really common for kids to have fat 529s and to have been to Peru on vacation or similar. Sorry if that disturbs you but it is what it is.

Correction: in YOUR little slice of "around here." Not "around here" as a whole. For every NW/Bethesda/McLean/N Arlington type, there are even more SE DC/Gaithersburg/Germantown/PWC/Annandale etc. types don't even have 529s, let alone well-funded ones, and for whom vacation is a drive to visit the grandparents or OCMD or King's Dominion.

Again, you live in a bubble. Which is fine. But the fact that you think this is normal on a large scale proves that you are very sheltered. It may be normal in your type of circle, but your type of circle is only a tiny sliver of metropolitan Washington, DC.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

I see sick kids day in and day out and these kids by the grace of generosity get to stay for free at the children's Inn, these are "normal" families who don't have the money for weeks at a motel, let alone the Inca Trail.

You need to travel to my home country, India and wake the f%ck up. Yes, even my kids, with a woefully funded 529, family trips to the Blue Ridge Mountains, and the luxury of clean water, medical care and a safe home are haves.

Americans sometimes really disgust me with their ignorance.

If you re two researchers at NIH, what is going on that you cannot afford camps.

Do you know what a post-doc salary is?

[Anonymous]

Does this sound about right?

Have nothing - low income
Have not - LMC/MC
Have - UMC
Have More - Top 1%
Have All - Trust fund baby. Never has to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

So much drama and flowery language! We hope they one day step through the thresh hold [sic].

Really, you all are delusional if you think this is not a “have”. The OP askedan opinion and the above poster responded with her definition. Yes, it is definitely not typical of most kids growing up in the US today. It is so easy to only compare yourself to those in your immediate surroundings but even there...most kids are NOT growing up with UMC advantages and healthy parents who are modeling healthy adult relationships. Good for you- PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are so disgusting. DH and I are researchers at NIH and both have our PHDs. The only reason our kids have passports is because we send them back to India for the summer to stay with family because we cannot afford camps and round the clock summer care for them. No, it is not "standard" that kids hike the Inca trail. Most American kids haven't even been to Canada, Mexico, or even on a domestic flight. It is not standard that a kid have a fully funded 529.

Around here? Yes it’s really common for kids to have fat 529s and to have been to Peru on vacation or similar. Sorry if that disturbs you but it is what it is.

Correction: in YOUR little slice of "around here." Not "around here" as a whole. For every NW/Bethesda/McLean/N Arlington type, there are even more SE DC/Gaithersburg/Germantown/PWC/Annandale etc. types don't even have 529s, let alone well-funded ones, and for whom vacation is a drive to visit the grandparents or OCMD or King's Dominion.

Again, you live in a bubble. Which is fine. But the fact that you think this is normal on a large scale proves that you are very sheltered. It may be normal in your type of circle, but your type of circle is only a tiny sliver of metropolitan Washington, DC.

NP. But it isn't a tiny sliver of this area, as the many distinct towns in three jurisdictions you list demonstrates. Of course there are lots of people around here who don't have that degree of wealth, or anything close to it. That's true for some people even in the areas you listed.

But there are also lots of people who do, in the areas you listed and in other parts of DMV where there are plenty of wealthy people. If you really think it is a tiny slice, you are almost as out of touch as someone who thinks that everyone has this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not standard to make your kids home up that mountain!

It is standard to take the train.

+ 1

Hiking the trail is actually strenuous, in that it takes several days. I think it's nuts to put little kids through that.

Take the train people! It's only like $1k per person.

[Anonymous]

People, approximately 1 million people go to Machu Picchu every year. It's not a unique destination!

So of course a bunch of DC kids have been. I don't know why this is causing so much controversy on here.

Also my 8 yo has ~ 155k in his 529 and my FA said we should really consider putting more money in on a monthly basis if we want to fund 100% of college

We put 1250 in every month.



So there's that. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not standard to make your kids home up that mountain!

It is standard to take the train.

+ 1

Hiking the trail is actually strenuous, in that it takes several days. I think it's nuts to put little kids through that.

Take the train people! It's only like $1k per person.

FYI you're obviously talking about the Hiram Bingham train which is a luxury experience. There are much cheaper ways of getting there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

PP here. No my kids aren’t bilingual (white Americans) but they do have daily foreign language instruction in their top private.

As for Machu Pichu, yes we have been but we took the train.

Nothing in that post says “have” to me

Daily foreign language instruction? That means that they’re not bilingual. So according to this definition, your monolingual children are not haves. Move along now.

Ooh someone is testy for being told that they're a "have not."

Look I am the poster who said that if you're not expecting a massive trust fund in your twenties which will set you up for LIFE, you're not a "have" in our current economy and political system (very rapidly moving towards oligarchy) and I stand by that.

So you're not exactly hurting my feelings with your stupid put down about foreign language instruction.

My kids are studying Spanish anyway and I don't see that Spanish will give them that big of an advantage as adults. But you never know I guess.

However, we will send them to Spain or South America for an immersion experience in high school and pay for them to study abroad in college so they can achieve fluency too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this sound about right?

Have nothing - low income
Have not - LMC/MC
Have - UMC
Have More - Top 1%
Have All - Trust fund baby. Never has to work.

I don't get why people bother to make gradations like this on here.

If you're not in the top two, who cares? You're not even in the game.

[Anonymous]

Like happiness, have/have-not is relative. To someone who drives a car, someone without a car but wants one is a have-not. To someone who has multiple cars, someone with just one car but wants another one is a have-not. This is why it's so tough to nail down a good definition of happiness and have/have-not.

[Anonymous]

The travel thing is interesting. I know a couple that does not live in one of these top neighborhoods but they send their kids to European soccer camps every summer. It’s funny how some people think people in more average counties don’t have as much. You really never know every family has different priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

PP here. No my kids aren’t bilingual (white Americans) but they do have daily foreign language instruction in their top private.

As for Machu Pichu, yes we have been but we took the train.

Nothing in that post says “have” to me

Daily foreign language instruction? That means that they’re not bilingual. So according to this definition, your monolingual children are not haves. Move along now.

Ooh someone is testy for being told that they're a "have not."

Look I am the poster who said that if you're not expecting a massive trust fund in your twenties which will set you up for LIFE, you're not a "have" in our current economy and political system (very rapidly moving towards oligarchy) and I stand by that.

So you're not exactly hurting my feelings with your stupid put down about foreign language instruction.

My kids are studying Spanish anyway and I don't see that Spanish will give them that big of an advantage as adults. But you never know I guess.

However, we will send them to Spain or South America for an immersion experience in high school and pay for them to study abroad in college so they can achieve fluency too.

Testy...for what? My children are trilingual, yours are monolingual (with daily foreign language instruction). I’m just stating facts.

And be careful about the high school “immersion” and college study abroad experiences. I know plenty of kids who did that and still came back monolingual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

PP here. No my kids aren’t bilingual (white Americans) but they do have daily foreign language instruction in their top private.

As for Machu Pichu, yes we have been but we took the train.

Nothing in that post says “have” to me

Daily foreign language instruction? That means that they’re not bilingual. So according to this definition, your monolingual children are not haves. Move along now.

Ooh someone is testy for being told that they're a "have not."

Look I am the poster who said that if you're not expecting a massive trust fund in your twenties which will set you up for LIFE, you're not a "have" in our current economy and political system (very rapidly moving towards oligarchy) and I stand by that.

So you're not exactly hurting my feelings with your stupid put down about foreign language instruction.

My kids are studying Spanish anyway and I don't see that Spanish will give them that big of an advantage as adults. But you never know I guess.

However, we will send them to Spain or South America for an immersion experience in high school and pay for them to study abroad in college so they can achieve fluency too.

Testy...for what? My children are trilingual, yours are monolingual (with daily foreign language instruction). I’m just stating facts.

And be careful about the high school “immersion” and college study abroad experiences. I know plenty of kids who did that and still came back monolingual.

And plenty who did!

Your trilingual kids will grow up to be translators. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

So all of your children are bilingual (from English only homes), and have hiked the Inca trail? Mmmkay.

PP here. No my kids aren’t bilingual (white Americans) but they do have daily foreign language instruction in their top private.

As for Machu Pichu, yes we have been but we took the train.

Nothing in that post says “have” to me

Daily foreign language instruction? That means that they’re not bilingual. So according to this definition, your monolingual children are not haves. Move along now.

Ooh someone is testy for being told that they're a "have not."

Look I am the poster who said that if you're not expecting a massive trust fund in your twenties which will set you up for LIFE, you're not a "have" in our current economy and political system (very rapidly moving towards oligarchy) and I stand by that.

So you're not exactly hurting my feelings with your stupid put down about foreign language instruction.

My kids are studying Spanish anyway and I don't see that Spanish will give them that big of an advantage as adults. But you never know I guess.

However, we will send them to Spain or South America for an immersion experience in high school and pay for them to study abroad in college so they can achieve fluency too.

Testy...for what? My children are trilingual, yours are monolingual (with daily foreign language instruction). I’m just stating facts.

And be careful about the high school “immersion” and college study abroad experiences. I know plenty of kids who did that and still came back monolingual.

Testy because you're obviously the poster who wrote that long involved paragraph patting themselves on the back for being 'haves" when what you describe is totally typical and even pedestrian for DC.

And you're mad that people have the nerve to call you on your bs.

It's not special that your kids have been to Peru. Sorry! Millions of people have been there.