S/O what do you consider “haves”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you consider a kid who “haves”?

I come from humble beginnings but we earn a high income now. I try very hard not to spoil our children. I don’t want them to think they are a “have”. They want for nothing though.

A kid who "haves" doesn't have to think much about money as a barrier, merely a factor. "Haves" travel internationally at least once a year and would not guess that the majority of Americans have not left the country in their first 18 years. The ones I know don't consider themselves to be "haves" because almost everyone they know is also a "have". It's just normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.

I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.

Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!

My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.

Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!

Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?

My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

I don’t know, these days with extensive airline alliances one can easily visit three or even four continents in a single trip (think US to Kenya or South Africa, with stopovers in the Middle East on the way out and Europe on the return). I know families that have done that, and it never seemed particularly impressive.

Yes, frequent multi-continent travel is so easy, quick and inexpensive that everyone is taking their young children these days! I’m sure the vast majority of 10 year olds that you know have traveled to at least 30 countries, and 5 continents. It’s so common, yet your own children haven’t experienced such travel. You just “know families that have done that.” Hmmm...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you consider a kid who “haves”?

I come from humble beginnings but we earn a high income now. I try very hard not to spoil our children. I don’t want them to think they are a “have”. They want for nothing though.

A kid who "haves" doesn't have to think much about money as a barrier, merely a factor. "Haves" travel internationally at least once a year and would not guess that the majority of Americans have not left the country in their first 18 years. The ones I know don't consider themselves to be "haves" because almost everyone they know is also a "have". It's just normal.

Most Americans who have the means to travel internationally on an annual basis go to the same places over and over again: Mexico, a few tourist-trap Caribbean islands, and very basic Europe—Italy (usually Rome), France (Paris) and England (London). That doesn’t add up to a lot of different countries.

[Anonymous]

I would consider all of us on here "haves"

[Anonymous]

Wow. Our HHI is $240, I am a SAHM, and I considered us haves. Apparently not. I honestly think many of you live in an insular bubble - how do you not realize that just having a stable roof over your head, heat and A/C, plus clean running water puts you way ahead of most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Our HHI is $240, I am a SAHM, and I considered us haves. Apparently not. I honestly think many of you live in an insular bubble - how do you not realize that just having a stable roof over your head, heat and A/C, plus clean running water puts you way ahead of most.

But most people in the US have HVAC and clean running water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

+1. I’m all for teaching children about travel and other cultures, but at those ages it really is more about quality than quantity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

Extensive foreign travel at that age is probably wasted on your children, but definitely not mine.

I consider regular international travel to be part of my children’s global education. Your sheep-like way of thinking is why we don’t often encounter other high SES children who have traveled as extensively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

Extensive foreign travel at that age is probably wasted on your children, but definitely not mine.

I consider regular international travel to be part of my children’s global education. Your sheep-like way of thinking is why we don’t often encounter other high SES children who have traveled as extensively.

If your kids have been to 30 countries, I’m curious to know how many countries you and your husband have visited, and when you started traveling internationally. Is this something you enjoyed together before the kids, or did you ramp it up for their benefit? I do agree that it probably has more value than a lot of what is taught in the public, and even the private, schools in this country.

[Anonymous]

This is such a silly thread. If travelling to many countries makes you a have, then refugees are haves. I'd also like to see a list of exactly what these 30 countries are, where the family stayed in each (hotel? resort? homestay?) and how old the kids were. We've traveled a lot with our kids, and they can't remember a thing about the places we went when they were little.

To me, a have is a person who doesn't have to work to live a reasonable lifestyle. I make 200k a year (after taxes) off of my investments and haven't worked in years. I can't do anything in the world that I want, but I sure can do a lot. I'm definitely a have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a silly thread. If travelling to many countries makes you a have, then refugees are haves. I'd also like to see a list of exactly what these 30 countries are, where the family stayed in each (hotel? resort? homestay?) and how old the kids were. We've traveled a lot with our kids, and they can't remember a thing about the places we went when they were little.

To me, a have is a person who doesn't have to work to live a reasonable lifestyle. I make 200k a year (after taxes) off of my investments and haven't worked in years. I can't do anything in the world that I want, but I sure can do a lot. I'm definitely a have.

The consensus seems to be that $200K in the DMV is not “have” territory, but I guess since you could always get a job, maybe that qualifies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

Extensive foreign travel at that age is probably wasted on your children, but definitely not mine.

I consider regular international travel to be part of my children’s global education. Your sheep-like way of thinking is why we don’t often encounter other high SES children who have traveled as extensively.

If your kids have been to 30 countries, I’m curious to know how many countries you and your husband have visited, and when you started traveling internationally. Is this something you enjoyed together before the kids, or did you ramp it up for their benefit? I do agree that it probably has more value than a lot of what is taught in the public, and even the private, schools in this country.

I appreciate that you seem to be asking out of genuine curiosity, so I’ll answer your questions. I have traveled to well over 100 countries (my husband is at about half of my total). We traveled extensively before we had children, and we saw no reason to stop once they were born. Btw, my children love to travel, and now they even offer their input as to what they want to do and see on our upcoming trips. I have traveled a lot more than my husband because my father’s job required a few stints abroad. I was born in the states, but I lived in several foreign countries before returning to the U.S for high school.

I find it sad and ill-informed when people say that international travel is wasted on young children. We have all been shaped by our childhood experiences, in large and small ways. Voluntary foreign travel shapes children in positive ways, even if you don’t understand how or why. My children haven’t just read about historical events and sites, they have experienced these things in person. Those memories are the foundation of a first class education.

[Anonymous]

I love to travel. It is a passion of mine. We are fortunate that we can afford to go and do anything. I absolutely plan to travel the world with my children.

I just turned 40. I have been to 50 or so countries. I remember wanting to hit 100 and when I started making the list, there were very few countries I wanted to visit. There are probably 10 or maybe 15 and I will go to them.

My youngest is 1 years old. I have considered traveling with the nanny and extended family but I just don’t want to. While I don’t work, my DH does. My kids go to school 9 months out of the year.

I always envisioned showing my children the world. I just need my youngest to be a little older. She is 1.5 and been on the plane 10 times already so we do travel with her. Not going to fly to Africa or some exotic country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
DCUM bottoms out in this thread

There were a few reasonable posts which got derailed by the nitwit insisting that the only "haves" were the ones with a 8-figure trust fund.


I don’t know if it is the same person bragging about how their kid has been to 30 countries.

We go away every long weekend and school break. If we wanted to visit 10 different countries per year, we could. That is not what we want to do. We do some some domestic beach trips both driving and flying. I love Arizona and Maine. We will visit nyc, Philadelphia and Boston to visit friends and family. My 7 and 9yo have only been to probably 20 countries, maybe 15. Who really cares? No one is keeping tabs.


Who cares about your very mundane and boring trips to Maine, Philly, Arizona, etc?

If I want to die slowly of boredom, I’ll follow your vacation recommendations. Please enjoy your meals at Cracker Barrel while on your beach vacations in Virginia Beach. You’re so klassy!


My kids have also been to Monaco and Amalfi Coast. Most of their international travel has been to the Caribbean and Mexico. We don’t go to VA Beach.

We live in an affluent area and surrounded by wealth. Several of our neighbors leave their 10,000+ sf homes empty for the majority of the year because they have multiple other homes in other countries. I have only met one neighbor once. They spend most of their time in Europe.

Get off your high horse. You are not the only family who travels. To say that is the norm is obnoxious though. I can at least admit we are rich.


Elementary school children who have traveled to 30+ countries is NOT the norm—that was the entire point of my post (which flew right over your head).

Btw, you’re trying way too hard here. Stay klassy!


Why is visiting 30 countries a big deal? One could take a Caribbean cruise and knock off five, and another 10 in a single visit to Europe. I am sure many kids, and even more parents, have done that. Am I missing something?


My goodness you’re dense! Reading is fundamental—please read at least some of this thread before commenting.

Btw, if extensive foreign travel for an American child (age 10 and under) is so commonplace, then why don’t you know more children that age who have done so? Btw, the PP’s children have traveled to 5 continents. How old were you when you landed on your 5th continent? I doubt that you were anywhere near 10.

Extensive foreign travel before age 10 is wasted for most children. I wouldn't take young kids to lots of places until they are old enough to understand and appreciate more about where they are going.

Extensive foreign travel at that age is probably wasted on your children, but definitely not mine.

I consider regular international travel to be part of my children’s global education. Your sheep-like way of thinking is why we don’t often encounter other high SES children who have traveled as extensively.

If your kids have been to 30 countries, I’m curious to know how many countries you and your husband have visited, and when you started traveling internationally. Is this something you enjoyed together before the kids, or did you ramp it up for their benefit? I do agree that it probably has more value than a lot of what is taught in the public, and even the private, schools in this country.

I appreciate that you seem to be asking out of genuine curiosity, so I’ll answer your questions. I have traveled to well over 100 countries (my husband is at about half of my total). We traveled extensively before we had children, and we saw no reason to stop once they were born. Btw, my children love to travel, and now they even offer their input as to what they want to do and see on our upcoming trips. I have traveled a lot more than my husband because my father’s job required a few stints abroad. I was born in the states, but I lived in several foreign countries before returning to the U.S for high school.

I find it sad and ill-informed when people say that international travel is wasted on young children. We have all been shaped by our childhood experiences, in large and small ways. Voluntary foreign travel shapes children in positive ways, even if you don’t understand how or why. My children haven’t just read about historical events and sites, they have experienced these things in person. Those memories are the foundation of a first class education.

All that foreign travel isn’t going to make up for the fact that your kids and their SO’s are going to hate you later for being a judgmental, neurotic twit.