S/O what do you consider “haves”

[Anonymous]

It is hard not to feel like a have not in this area. There is so much wealth. Compare the life you have to some people in rural parts of the US though and most of us have it made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t go away on vacation for every school break even if you can afford and you personally (the parents) deserve the Caribbean over spring break, Aspen on winter break, and summering in Europe. It sets up certain expectations. Nothing wrong with having some years with boring breaks at home or taking a few driving trips where you stay at a Hampton Inn instead of a luxury 5 Star.

Eh we do this but I don’t think it spoils the kids. Travel enriches people, not the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

Those not inheriting a $20 million + trust fund at 25 are have nots???!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

+1

Most people with decent incomes (500k +) do everything the quoted PP does, it’s called good parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

Those not inheriting a $20 million + trust fund at 25 are have nots???!!!

When people talk about haves vs. have nots they’re usually talking about the extreme wealth inequality such that the .01 vastly outpaces everyone else, the deleterious effects of generational wealth and the kind of money it takes to buy politicians (I.e. look at the behavior of the Trumps).

They’re not quibbling between shades of MC or UMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

My kids have all this too and I don’t consider them “haves.”

Personally, I think to be in “have” territory, it’s because you know your kids will be inheriting a 20M + trust fund at age 25. What you’re describing is normal UMC lifestyle. The world has gotten MUCH more competitive since the 80s and 90s. Even with everything you and I give our kids, we can’t guarantee their future success. It’s money and (big) trust funds that can.

Those not inheriting a $20 million + trust fund at 25 are have nots???!!!

When people talk about haves vs. have nots they’re usually talking about the extreme wealth inequality such that the .01 vastly outpaces everyone else, the deleterious effects of generational wealth and the kind of money it takes to buy politicians (I.e. look at the behavior of the Trumps).

They’re not quibbling between shades of MC or UMC.

Exactly, they’re talking about the ability to buy your way into Harvard. Not whether you can afford an SAT prep class.

[Anonymous]

I work at a college and there are students who are haves and students who are have nots. They don't mix all that much as their words are so different.

The haves:
go home on school breaks (usually flying)
they don't have jobs to make ends meet
they do unpaid internships and they volunteer
they aren't on a tight budget - they go out to eat at restaurants, they buy new clothes, they buy all the textbooks without really knowing if they need them or not
they
they have little understanding of the value of money or why other students can't join them or do what they do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work at a college and there are students who are haves and students who are have nots. They don't mix all that much as their words are so different.

The haves:
go home on school breaks (usually flying)
they don't have jobs to make ends meet
they do unpaid internships and they volunteer
they aren't on a tight budget - they go out to eat at restaurants, they buy new clothes, they buy all the textbooks without really knowing if they need them or not
they
they have little understanding of the value of money or why other students can't join them or do what they do

And likely this is all on top of their parents paying 75k + a year for them to be there in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

I agree with the PP above. Several of my family members and I migrated to the US from Asia in the past 10-20 years and have succeeded very well solely on our own without any family connections in this country. What we did have were solid educations provided for us till high school. Our children will have many more advantages but they will also have to work hard. Trust funds not needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

Yup. What the .PP describes is just good parenting plus UNC money. Hardly unique.

[Anonymous]

No - It’s not unique to have two parents home at 5pm every night and have home-cooked meals all together at the dinner table every night? Plus the money for college/first home, EC music lessons, expensive sport, tutors...that’s what most people have?

If that is not unique it is news to most of America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or what you feel you have achieved, but everything you mention is pretty standard stuff and does not make your children “haves” in the sense that OP was intending. To be a “have” ensures that your children will thrive in today’s America totally apart from their own accomplishments, and really requires a seven or eight figure trust fund.

I agree with the PP above. Several of my family members and I migrated to the US from Asia in the past 10-20 years and have succeeded very well solely on our own without any family connections in this country. What we did have were solid educations provided for us till high school. Our children will have many more advantages but they will also have to work hard. Trust funds not needed.

As you say, they will have to work hard. Which means, by definition, they are not “haves.” Don’t worry, that’s the way it is for most of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are "haves". They have a fully funded college education, they will be gifted money for their first down payment, they have tutors when they need it, they have music lessons and play an expensive sport, they are bilingual, they have braces, they have healthy home cooked food every day, they have parents who are home each day by 5pm and everyone eats dinner around the table, they have a large extended family that lives locally, they have nice vacations and have been able to do things like hike the Inca trail and are able to see first hand what they've learned in school, they have a family who models what it means to be a healthy adult, they have access to a great education.

I'm not ashamed my kids are have, nor do I try to make them think thry are not haves. They have opportunities and doors pushed wide open for them to walk right in. We hope they one day step through the thresh hold.

So much drama and flowery language! We hope they one day step through the thresh hold [sic].