Is this cheating? What do I do? (Found computer history on DH’a computer)
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
You're being an ostrich Op, which is fine but at least admit it to yourself.
I fear what will happen to you if he decides he wants to leave you for an affair partner one day, then you'll definitely have the regrets of coulda, shoulda, woulda. Hire the PI for the next city he travels to for work, then it will be up to you to decide whether you act on what you find out. |
Anonymous
|
OP here- finally talked out the happy ending with DH - and he admitted he had searched for a happy ending parlor and even driven in a car and looked for it, and if he had found the massage parlor that he would have had it- but that he didn't find it and so he never had the happy ending....
Does this seem plausible? Context that DH rejected me for sex this week, said he would have sex with me the next day, then never did... And he confessed to masturbating more than having sex with me... I felt so rejected and hurt....I told him I would ideally like mohave sex twice a week, not once a month...that I don't want to be in a platonic relationship... My DH suggested that I masturbate to take off "the edge" and then said he would be fine if I had another sex partner.... I got really angry and we finally did have sex but I felt like I had to beg for it.... Am I totally being gaslighted??? I feel so low in confidence being with a DH who doesn't want to have sex with me and has sex with me after I get angry..... |
Anonymous
Two seperate issues: the lack of sex and the massage parlors. The lack of sex is a big issue in any marriage and one that your selfish DH doesn't want to meet your needs for. That alone is a reason to dump him. That he is going out and getting needs met elsewhere makes it worse. Even if he didn't actually go through with it, it shows he has an interest in sex, just not with you. Put it this way: my wife has a much lower drive than me but I don't take it personally since that is the case in almost every hetero marriage. If she was cheating on me, then its personal. I would be much more likely to forgive cheating if we were having sex all the time than if we aren't. |
Anonymous
| He is gross. I would get tested for STD's. |
Anonymous
| OP here -so I do have a high sex drive, but have thought I shouldn't nag my DH for sex because it would push him away - I lived with the low amount of sex and that is why it was SO infuriating to find the happy ending massage stuff -- I have to live with little/no sex but he seems fine to jerk himself off or to get it elsewhere at a parlor..... Herein is the problem... I feel like he is using the withholding of sex to "punish me" for something he is angry about but won't talk about...it is like I have to read his mind....He won't tell me if he is angry about something (like the house not being clean enough, etc)....instead he just won't talk to me for the day and looks at his cell phone and then turns his shoulder to me in bed..... it is so frustrating..... I guess at this point I am just venting. |
Anonymous
| Damn women, get some self respect. Hire an attorney and file for divorce. |
Anonymous
|
Why are you putting up with this? I think you know that the logical conclusion is to divorce him. I seriously doubt this is going to get any better. I also don't believe that he never ended up having the happy ending massage. What a crock. Please have some respect for yourself and leave him.
|
Anonymous
Yes. Yes, you are totally being gaslighted. Why or what is really going on is not something you should waste any more energy on. At least your DH has clearly shown you through his behavior who he has. Get a lawyer and start getting your life on track for a divorce (financial, career, childcare network, friend network). File when YOU are ready. You deserve better than what your dH is offering (any human being deserves better). |