Reply to Is this cheating? What do I do? (Found computer history on DH’a computer)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here-  finally talked out the happy ending with DH - and he admitted he had searched for a happy ending parlor and even driven in a car and looked for it, and if he had found the massage parlor that he would have had it- but that he didn't find it and so he never had the happy ending....

Does this seem plausible?

Context that DH rejected me for sex this week, said he would have sex with me the next day, then never did...

And he confessed to masturbating more than having sex with me...

I felt so rejected and hurt....I told him I would ideally like mohave sex twice a week, not once a month...that I don't want to be in a platonic relationship... My DH suggested that I masturbate to take off "the edge" and then said he would be fine if I had another sex partner....

I got really angry and we finally did have sex but I felt like I had to beg for it....

Am I totally being gaslighted???  I feel so low in confidence being with a DH who doesn't want to have sex with me and has sex with me after I get angry.....
[/quote]

Two seperate issues:  the lack of sex and the massage parlors.

The lack of sex is a big issue in any marriage and one that your selfish DH doesn't want to meet your needs for.  That alone is a reason to dump him.  That he is going out and getting needs met elsewhere makes it worse.  Even if he didn't actually go through with it, it shows he has an interest in sex, just not with you.

Put it this way:  my wife has a much lower drive than me but I don't take it personally since that is the case in almost every hetero marriage.  If she was cheating on me, then its personal.  I would be much more likely to forgive cheating if we were having sex all the time than if we aren't.[/quote]

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