Boyfriend let ex-wife stay at his house

[Anonymous]

My AC crapped out and I stayed at my ex's for the weekend. I slept in the guest room. Shit happens. He is my ex for a reason. Don't make a big deal of it.

[Anonymous]

guaranteed they’re pounding

[Anonymous]

I did this all the time after I divorced and moved. It saved my ex a bunch of money, put him closer to his child during visits and meant absolutely nothing about my feelings (or lack of them) for him. I had a guest bedroom. He used it. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend of 2 years has a daughter who lives out of state. She’s been here visiting, and while she’s here I stay at my own place. His daughter’s mom came into town yesterday to pick her up, and will be here for 3 nights. I just found out that while the ex-wife is here, she’s staying at his house (which is in both of their names...they bought it together when they were married). I have kids of my own, so I understand the importance of maintaining good relationship with my ex. However, I’m upset that he didn’t mention this to me until she was already there. He doesn’t need my permission to do anything, But I feel like it’s a respect thing to at least discuss it with me beforehand.

Just trying to gain some perspective...would you be upset in this situation??

I wouldn't think that the ex-wife staying at the house would be an issue to discuss with you. The ex-wife and their DD likely know people in the neighborhood and allows them to catch up with those folks while visiting.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like ex-wife was taking advantage of his free refills policy.

For goodness sake, be less jealous, but assuming you are otherwise rational (sure, sure) he could have given you a heads up. But being a guy he was looking to avoid drama, so he didn't tell you. The drama found the poor bastard anyway.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely be upset by this, except the fact that this is the wife's house too. So the person I'd be upset with is myself for getting tangled up with someone who has too much baggage for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want to continue this relationship with any hope of it becoming closer, say something like this:

"Larlo, you know I'm cool with the fact you're divorced. And I get that you're always looking out for Larlitta—you're a great dad. But how come you didn't feel like you could let me know in advance that Larla would be staying at your place? I hope I haven't done or said anything that would make you think I'd give you a hard time. I mean, we've been together for two years—we should be able to talk about this stuff, right?"

And then, listen to what he has to say. If you don't want to continue the relationship, then don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My AC crapped out and I stayed at my ex's for the weekend. I slept in the guest room. Shit happens. He is my ex for a reason. Don't make a big deal of it.

This. I wouldn't touch my ex sexually with a ten foot pole, and there isn't enough money on the planet to make me get back together with him. If we didn't have kids together, I would have gone no contact with him. NewWife is very jealous of any time he spends with me and/or the kids as family. But, the joke is on her. If she knew what I knew, she wouldn't be with him either.

[Anonymous]

“But how come you didn't feel like you could let me know in advance that Larla would be staying at your place? I hope I haven't done or said anything that would make you think I'd give you a hard time. I mean, we've been together for two years—we should be able to talk about this stuff, right?”

This, exactly. Assuming you’re still feeling upset about it after a few days of cooling off time.

[Anonymous]

It's likely that the ex-wife knows people in the neighborhood. She used to live there. Nothing wrong with being in her comfort zone for a couple of days. Not sure what the issue is here.

[Anonymous]

It's not OK, he would have told you in advance. He will also treat other issues in a similar manner, so be careful this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not OK, he would have told you in advance. He will also treat other issues in a similar manner, so be careful this.

So, nevermind if ex and the child knows people from the community and may want to re-connect?

[Anonymous]

wait, why doesn't dad live in same state with his daughter? how much does he see his daughter? that would concern me more.

[Anonymous]

wait, why doesn't dad live in same state with his daughter? how much does he see his daughter? that would concern me more.

PP here, actually, depends on age of daughter. is she 17, 18,19? or 6?

[Anonymous]

Why didn't OP go over there during the 3 day? If there's no funny business I would have stopped by, acted like everything was normal.

Stayed over as well.