Would you be upset if your kid was served mocktails & got a makeover at a party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting uptight about mocktails is fairly disordered thinking. It's important for kids to learn that alcohol is not a requirement for a "fun" drink. As an adult, it's important to know that you can order a mocktail if you don't drink or would like to moderate your drinking but continue to socialize with people who are drinking.

I totally agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds fun. And, FINE!

Yes!! What does it matter that a professional did the makeover instead of 13 year olds?

Cocktails? Oh no. Now she thinks fruit juice can be fun.

She's 13, loosen up.

[Anonymous]

That should say mocktails.

[Anonymous]

Op you may want to reign in the over protective approach.

Soon we'll be reading posts asking why your daughter is left out of the fun stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regina George from Mean Girls. “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom”

https://giphy.com/gifs/filmeditor-mean-girls-movie-3otPoBRKROJl9UbqMM

If you don't get this reference you're already too far gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a big drinker and I wasn’t even in college when most people are.

I actually wonder if being super uptight about alcohol can create a bigger forbidden fruit aspect to it. Saying “hey you can have fun drinking this stuff in cute glasses without alcohol in it” is a good message that maybe the kids will take with them when they’re 17 and at a party and being pressured to drink the real stuff.

The party sounds fun. And I’m not at all into pushing girls to being super girly. I see it as giving a taste of something in a special situation, without having to think about makeup as a daily thing.

Ironically, I think that putting girls in dance competitions, as you have said your daughter does, is way more likely to create a girly girl than one party. Those costumes are super sparkly and/or sensual with the bare midriffs. The girls wear a ton of makeup (yes I know its so they can be seen on stage, but they put it on girls as young as 3, which I think is crazy) and everyone has to look the same—same outfit, same hair, same makeup...not to mention the body image part of being a dancer. I think it’s funny that you are up in arms about a birthday party but think the whole image part of dancing is fine.

+1

I completely agree with this. I do not see how you can put your daughter in dance competitions but be all up in arms about this sleepover.

[Anonymous]

I’ve see pina colada slurpees, yogurt, etc. I think it’s generally thought of as a certain flavor and not necessarily alcoholic. (After all, there isn’t a merlot yogurt).

Stop. You're making me hungry.

[Anonymous]

OP, I grew up in a Muslim (totally zero alcohol) home and community.

We'd drink sparkling apple cider in plastic champagne glasses, as kids. It was fine. It was just a fun thing to do, and it wasn't really glamorizing alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve see pina colada slurpees, yogurt, etc. I think it’s generally thought of as a certain flavor and not necessarily alcoholic. (After all, there isn’t a merlot yogurt).

Stop. You're making me hungry.

Really?

Merlot flavored yogurt would taste like vomited wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

[Anonymous]

While it might have made me a little uncomfortable, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s an opportunity for you to have a light touch conversation with your daughter about the fact that different people do things differently, ask her what she thought about it, and explain to her why what went on at the party had an effect on you.

[Anonymous]

Mocktails for 13 year olds? Well at least you know which house will have the teen alcohol party in a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

One thing I’ve realized as a parent is that it’s important to understand that our kids are not us and their interests are not ours. My daughter loves a bunch of stuff that I find equivalent to impaling oneself with a hot poker. I’m sure there’s a long list of things I enjoy that she does not. Big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My only problem would have been the make-up, since my child could have been allergic, especially if she slept in it. Make-up, polish and dye may contain toxic chemicals to vaying degrees, especially in this country where the FDA has little oversight for that category of products, contrary to the EU, which regulates all this carefully.

I don’t care about the fake drinking - my kids know they won’t be able to indulge in the real thing. We’re missing an enzyme to process alcohol in the family, like many Asians.

Basically, not my idea of a fun time, but not the end of the world.

These kids were 13, not 5. Certainly a 13 year old knows whether or not she has sensitive skin or not. She's probably had her face painted at festivals and fairs over the years. And she quite likely has even worn makeup on special occasions.

I'll bet it was a real treat to have a professional makeup artist do her makeup. I would have absolutely loved everything about that party at that age.

You probably don't have skin sensitivities, then, because that's not how it works. You don't know in advance, unless you have used that exact same product before.
I have experienced really bad rashes as an adult with cosmetics I had not previously used.

On an unrelated note, I would have hated such a party.

So then you teach your kid to say “I’m sorry, I have really sensitive skin. I’ll just get my hair done.” Actually, if your kid doesn’t know how to speak up by 13 you’ve got bigger fish to fry.