Is it sexual harassment to say someone looks great/beautiful?

[Anonymous]

When guys ask me (female, Gen Xer) what I consider OK, I tell them that I think it's ok to make a compliment about something about the clothing itself, such as 'I like the color of your shirt', [and the PP whose colleague complimented the skirt's pattern would have been fine with me]; but that it's not ok to say, 'I like how you look in that shirt', or any other reference to a body part/figure.
I have a mostly female team and have worked with one woman a long time, and now and then I say something to her like 'I really like that necklace' or, 'I love the color of your shirt'. But I don't do it randomly or frequently--only when she's wearing something out of the ordinary, which I know since we've worked together daily for 5 + years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The other day a male colleague told me he liked my skirt, but then tried to backtrack apologetically "i never say this kind of thing, i just like the pattern..." He and i know each other relatively well and i just felt sad that he felt he had to retract his compliment. I told him I thought he had nice shoes, so now were were even. He laughed a sigh of relief. I hope society finds a good balance so we can still give each other compliments without worrying about complaints.

You know, if we need to reset by everyone rethinking what they say in the workplace, then so be it. It's sad because your male colleague can't say "nice skirt"? Maybe we have a different notion of what qualifies as sad.

I don't think it's a bad think that people are thinking about how what they say can create a certain environment in the workplace. That's not a bad thing. Your colleague didn't get in trouble. The two of you talked about it. What's there to be sad about?

It's not wrong to compliment an article of clothing of a female colleague if you know you're not creepy. It is wrong to tell her "you look beautiful."

Skirt PP here. But this is the issue - the totally normal, non-creepy, nice guy wasn't sure if he was being creepy. We're making really nice people feel paranoid. That's a type of oppression in itself, and it's not healthy. I'm not saying we shouldn't promote much better behavior overall. There is still tons of sexism in my office and I experience it daily. That's why I said I hope we find a balance, where the jerks realize they can't get away with their jerky behavior and nice people can still give each other compliments without fear of repercussions or offending.

Then he's an idiot or should just keep his mouth shut. We women shouldn't have to hold men's hands through being a normal person who can read social cues. Send him back home to his mama to learn. This BS about men feeling like they "can't do or say anything" is such a joke. Use your brain if you have one.

No, he's not an idiot.

[Anonymous]

My company's efforts to support #metoo have been noble but sad at the same time. It's basically a zero tolerance for anything and the guys in my office have become almost robotic or the male version of Stepford wives. We were always a pretty conservative company with a good, healthy atmosphere but now it seems almost puritanical. In 8 years I never had a guy say or do anything inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

herass herface what's the difference