Is it sexual harassment to say someone looks great/beautiful?

[Anonymous]

I often say things like:

"Cute dress!"

"Love those shoes!"

"Fabulous haircut!"

I'm a woman, and I say those things to women.

The only things I've ever said to men are along the lines of:

"That's a cool tie!"

"You look fancy! Why so dressed up today? Big meeting?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying “you look great today” or “nice haircut” or “I love your shirt” is normal. If someone told me in a work context that I looked beautiful I’d find it really weird. It’s too much.

Yes totally accurate. But tone matters too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That should have said “you look nice today.”

+1

Women are NEVER happy. She would say “today?”?? Is she saying I am ugly other days?? You cannot win!! Just STFU!

[Anonymous]

After the #MeToo movement, I would not comment on appearance in any way, shape, or form. Not even if someone asked. No hugging, no jokes, no touching.

My last supervisor at my last job would make comments about my appearance. He was a jerk. And in a jerk, smirking tone, he would walk by me and say, "I really like your style."

I hated this man for being a jerk of a boss. I especially loathed when he comments on my appearance. It was so creepy.

He would also comments on his female boss and her body fat, as in "She's on the tread mill and she has the body fat percentage to prove it. I'm on my sofa eating my bag of Cheetos."

He would talk about how BEAUTIFUL his wife was, who he also threatened with divorce and met someone else.

This guy believe every woman was after him.

So, are you THAT creepy guy in the office or telecommuting? Then don't comment on appearance or style or body fat.

[Anonymous]

My male boss told me I looked nice last week when I was wearing a new dress. I didn't feel it was sexual harassment or inappropriate at all. It was simply a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After the #MeToo movement, I would not comment on appearance in any way, shape, or form. Not even if someone asked. No hugging, no jokes, no touching.

Man here. X2 on this. I’m not losing my job because of a sensitive employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an effusive and very social person, and work in a very busy environment - lots of coming and going and conversation throughout the day. Sometimes I'll tell someone they look beautiful, but I worry this might be misconstrued as sexual harassment. (FWIW I say it openly - I don't pull people aside and say this - and in passing. Also I am a woman.)

OP, if you are a very social person can't you think of other things to say in a busy work environment other than commenting on appearance? How are you? How was your presentation? Whatever happened with that client? I loved your idea in staff meeting! Is your mother feeling better? That sandwich looks good, where did you get it? Enjoy your weekend, do you have any special plans?

See? I'm socially awkward and introverted and I just thought of several things to say. Commenting on appearance is weird and unprofessional, especially if you are using words like "you look beautiful." They are at work, working. They are not there to look beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Several years ago I was in my senior manager's office with another male manager and when our meeting was over the senior said my perfume smelled nice, I said thanks, didn't take it any kind of way, I noticed the other manager gave him a look...few minutes later he came over to apologize profusely and I was tripping because he really thought he did something wrong...

Most men AND women I know refuse to even shake hands anymore in the work place due to everything that's going on....

[Anonymous]

It’s inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend just not commenting on someone else's appearance.

[Anonymous]

Honestly it's really much better if no one in the office talks about ANYONE else's appearance. Good, bad or weird. Just carry on and make no comment.

It's not just about sexual harassment, it's just unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago I was in my senior manager's office with another male manager and when our meeting was over the senior said my perfume smelled nice, I said thanks, didn't take it any kind of way, I noticed the other manager gave him a look...few minutes later he came over to apologize profusely and I was tripping because he really thought he did something wrong...

Most men AND women I know refuse to even shake hands anymore in the work place due to everything that's going on....

"Everything that's going on" WTF. If your idiot coworkers can't tell the difference between SHAKING HANDS and having a button that locks the door so young women can't escape (Matt Laurer, barf) they probably don't deserve their jobs.

Shaking hands is the ONLY appropriate touching in any office. It's completely safe. Clasp hands, one pump, let go. Firm, but not hard. No wet noodle hands. It's very very very simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I often say things like:

"Cute dress!"

"Love those shoes!"

"Fabulous haircut!"

I'm a woman, and I say those things to women.

The only things I've ever said to men are along the lines of:

"That's a cool tie!"

"You look fancy! Why so dressed up today? Big meeting?"

Stop doing all of this. It's unprofessional. People don't need to justify why they are dressed up. I don't want you to comment on my hair cut. Stop.

[Anonymous]

Not so simple....ANYTHING can be "inappropriate" it's all based on the receiver....

[Anonymous]

It's not so much about what you say exactly, but rather about how the other person takes it.

I'd not say something like this at work.

I'd be very uncomfortable if someone at work said this to me.