Trump Example and the Idea of the Disposable Wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

I am PP, and I have empathy for those people.

But there is nothing that can be done to stop selfish people unless you want to revert to making divorce illegal or at-fault. Shaming them is not adequate, not least because not everyone will join in on it - it impossible to impose values on enough people to make shaming effective.

So that begs the question - how do you protect yourself from this fate? There are many ways to do so, and everyone should assume this is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich men do this a lot OP. And, yes, Trump has made womanizing popular even with the dreaded Evangelicals...they think womanizing is great if your name is Trump

Oh please. Every group has them. The younger woman is seldom a prize once the novelty part wears off. Every wife should have a plan B if her marriage fails. That's just common sense. Also, many women are better off if their spouse cheated and left. That's not a person to be married to or valued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

I am PP, and I have empathy for those people.

But there is nothing that can be done to stop selfish people unless you want to revert to making divorce illegal or at-fault. Shaming them is not adequate, not least because not everyone will join in on it - it impossible to impose values on enough people to make shaming effective.

So that begs the question - how do you protect yourself from this fate? There are many ways to do so, and everyone should assume this is possible.

Keep some of your assets separate before marriage. Make sure you have money somewhere in case of an emergency. If you married someone that cheats you picked a bad person. Move on quickly. Find out why you picked a lousy person or missed the red flags. After the divorce 86 the cheating spouse kids or not. Crucial in moving on, and making a positive life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that older men and younger trophy wives have existed forever, but I feel that Trump took it to the next level by demonstrating to even conservative, aspirational, and ambitious men that there are absolutely no societal or professional consequences and opprobium any more for dumping a longtime spouse in favor of an affair partner. If anything Trump shows that such a partner can further and assist in your ambition by making you look younger, or bringing in other professional connections, or simply making you happier with more sex. It makes me sad to see that wives are considered disposable. Anecdotally I have seen a rash of divorces, including some Texas friends who have been together since college (now in their 50s), with children, who have moved around the country a lot so that he could advance in his career. She is beautiful, fun, social, and they always seemed incredibly connected and happy. But now that he earns many millions each year, he is out of the marriage. I can tell you several other stories like that one.

I don't know why you are connecting this to Trump. Rich men (and poor men, for that matter) have been doing it for centuries. There have never been any societal or professional consequences or opprobrium for dumping an older wife for a younger model. All societal and professional points in such a marriage are attached to the husband so they do not convey.

There are costs to the man who marries the younger woman. Often it's not about love for the younger woman, instead wealth and status. Sadly, many of those men believe it's about love. Older women on the other hand could do the same thing, but don't because they seek a partner type relationship. Those are the differences.

Again, the stupid and false idea that younger women just want men's money whereas older women don't. Bullshit. The most grasping, materialistic female age group is age 30-50. They are obsessed with status and possessions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that older men and younger trophy wives have existed forever, but I feel that Trump took it to the next level by demonstrating to even conservative, aspirational, and ambitious men that there are absolutely no societal or professional consequences and opprobium any more for dumping a longtime spouse in favor of an affair partner. If anything Trump shows that such a partner can further and assist in your ambition by making you look younger, or bringing in other professional connections, or simply making you happier with more sex. It makes me sad to see that wives are considered disposable. Anecdotally I have seen a rash of divorces, including some Texas friends who have been together since college (now in their 50s), with children, who have moved around the country a lot so that he could advance in his career. She is beautiful, fun, social, and they always seemed incredibly connected and happy. But now that he earns many millions each year, he is out of the marriage. I can tell you several other stories like that one.

Trump was already divorced when he met Melanie. She was not his affair partner.

They started dating in 1998 and he wasn’t divorced until 1999.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that older men and younger trophy wives have existed forever, but I feel that Trump took it to the next level by demonstrating to even conservative, aspirational, and ambitious men that there are absolutely no societal or professional consequences and opprobium any more for dumping a longtime spouse in favor of an affair partner. If anything Trump shows that such a partner can further and assist in your ambition by making you look younger, or bringing in other professional connections, or simply making you happier with more sex. It makes me sad to see that wives are considered disposable. Anecdotally I have seen a rash of divorces, including some Texas friends who have been together since college (now in their 50s), with children, who have moved around the country a lot so that he could advance in his career. She is beautiful, fun, social, and they always seemed incredibly connected and happy. But now that he earns many millions each year, he is out of the marriage. I can tell you several other stories like that one.

I don't know why you are connecting this to Trump. Rich men (and poor men, for that matter) have been doing it for centuries. There have never been any societal or professional consequences or opprobrium for dumping an older wife for a younger model. All societal and professional points in such a marriage are attached to the husband so they do not convey.

There are costs to the man who marries the younger woman. Often it's not about love for the younger woman, instead wealth and status. Sadly, many of those men believe it's about love. Older women on the other hand could do the same thing, but don't because they seek a partner type relationship. Those are the differences.

Again, the stupid and false idea that younger women just want men's money whereas older women don't. Bullshit. The most grasping, materialistic female age group is age 30-50. They are obsessed with status and possessions.

Perhaps middle-aged women (late 30-60s) appear to you to be obsessed with material things because as one gets older, and one's youth and beauty (valuable currency, unfortunately) start to fade, you begin to value wearing better clothes, maintaining your hair, face, and body, and looking put together. In my 20s I could pull my hair back in a messy bun, never pluck my eyebrows, put on no makeup, buy all my clothes at the Gap, and still turn heads on the street 8 times out of 10. In my late 40s, few heads turn anymore, but at least I can look sophisticated and put together with a little investment. And by the way, middle aged men do the same thing. My own DH has completely revamped his clothes, exercise routine, luxury vehicle, and accessories (watch, glasses, ties) in the last five years to great benefit. It could also be that middle-aged women and men feel that they have worked to earn the material trappings of success and they want to reflect that. If you don't buy the nice house, the luxury car, the expensive jewelry/accessories, or the designer/bespoke wardrobe in your late 30s and older, then what are you waiting for, death? Finally, many of these middle-aged wives (or husbands) started out with their spouse when they had nothing to their names but student debt, and they have built their wealth together. Way back when, the comedienne Joan Rivers (and now I am dating myself) had a bit in which she encouraged wives to go out and buy the handbags, the shoes, and especially the jewelry. Because as she said, all the money you save your husband now, will be money that his second wife will be happy to spend on herself later. Do not judge others so harshly, PP, until you get there yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that older men and younger trophy wives have existed forever, but I feel that Trump took it to the next level by demonstrating to even conservative, aspirational, and ambitious men that there are absolutely no societal or professional consequences and opprobium any more for dumping a longtime spouse in favor of an affair partner. If anything Trump shows that such a partner can further and assist in your ambition by making you look younger, or bringing in other professional connections, or simply making you happier with more sex. It makes me sad to see that wives are considered disposable. Anecdotally I have seen a rash of divorces, including some Texas friends who have been together since college (now in their 50s), with children, who have moved around the country a lot so that he could advance in his career. She is beautiful, fun, social, and they always seemed incredibly connected and happy. But now that he earns many millions each year, he is out of the marriage. I can tell you several other stories like that one.

I don't know why you are connecting this to Trump. Rich men (and poor men, for that matter) have been doing it for centuries. There have never been any societal or professional consequences or opprobrium for dumping an older wife for a younger model. All societal and professional points in such a marriage are attached to the husband so they do not convey.

There are costs to the man who marries the younger woman. Often it's not about love for the younger woman, instead wealth and status. Sadly, many of those men believe it's about love. Older women on the other hand could do the same thing, but don't because they seek a partner type relationship. Those are the differences.

Again, the stupid and false idea that younger women just want men's money whereas older women don't. Bullshit. The most grasping, materialistic female age group is age 30-50. They are obsessed with status and possessions.

All women like status and wealth, I agree.

I personally don't blame men who want to bop around with young women, but I also pity them, personally. The ones I know are lost and lack humanity. If you want to live a transactional life devoid of true human connection, go for it.
A man not behaving in the way I describe might end up with a younger woman if he was suddenly single in his 40's or 50's, but he would pick someone based on various compatibility factors. She would be attractive to him but probably likely not a 22 year old he met on a sugarbaby website.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that older men and younger trophy wives have existed forever, but I feel that Trump took it to the next level by demonstrating to even conservative, aspirational, and ambitious men that there are absolutely no societal or professional consequences and opprobium any more for dumping a longtime spouse in favor of an affair partner. If anything Trump shows that such a partner can further and assist in your ambition by making you look younger, or bringing in other professional connections, or simply making you happier with more sex. It makes me sad to see that wives are considered disposable. Anecdotally I have seen a rash of divorces, including some Texas friends who have been together since college (now in their 50s), with children, who have moved around the country a lot so that he could advance in his career. She is beautiful, fun, social, and they always seemed incredibly connected and happy. But now that he earns many millions each year, he is out of the marriage. I can tell you several other stories like that one.

I don't know why you are connecting this to Trump. Rich men (and poor men, for that matter) have been doing it for centuries. There have never been any societal or professional consequences or opprobrium for dumping an older wife for a younger model. All societal and professional points in such a marriage are attached to the husband so they do not convey.

There are costs to the man who marries the younger woman. Often it's not about love for the younger woman, instead wealth and status. Sadly, many of those men believe it's about love. Older women on the other hand could do the same thing, but don't because they seek a partner type relationship. Those are the differences.

Again, the stupid and false idea that younger women just want men's money whereas older women don't. Bullshit. The most grasping, materialistic female age group is age 30-50. They are obsessed with status and possessions.

Not false at all. When there is a large age gap it's more often less to do with love. Second marriages of all ages fail at a greater rate.

[Anonymous]

Please. He was a predator and cheater before Melanesia married him. There are rumors that she was a high class escort and her nude pictures are available on the internet, before she married him. They deserve one another. They are bringing shame to this country because of their position. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

Well, this is not a good move for ANY woman. This is not new news that successful men cheat (they have young women at work throwing themselves at them). Why you would give up your career and life for some man to chase his dreams and eventually just become unappreciated and undervalued over time, I simply cannot understand nor have a ton of sympathy for someone setting themselves up.

So many of my Male colleagues run around on their wives. O alway wonder does the wife turn a blind eye to maintain her lifestyle? Is she truly clueless? Or is he just that good at covering his tracks? These men get such huge egos with all the opportunity their power and koneybopen up.

At least of you maintain a career you maintain an identity and a separate life outside of your DH and kids.

[Anonymous]

Trump views women as disposables for his sexual and viewing pleasure. He has plenty of company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

Well, this is not a good move for ANY woman. This is not new news that successful men cheat (they have young women at work throwing themselves at them). Why you would give up your career and life for some man to chase his dreams and eventually just become unappreciated and undervalued over time, I simply cannot understand nor have a ton of sympathy for someone setting themselves up.

So many of my Male colleagues run around on their wives. O alway wonder does the wife turn a blind eye to maintain her lifestyle? Is she truly clueless? Or is he just that good at covering his tracks? These men get such huge egos with all the opportunity their power and koneybopen up.

At least of you maintain a career you maintain an identity and a separate life outside of your DH and kids.

I guess that's where the whole "til death do us part" clause was supposed to come in. Clearly it's meaningless now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, who cares?

If you have adequately prepared for the possibility that this could happen to you, both materially and socially, then you will be fine.

Would you really want to be with someone who didn't cherish the family you built together? I know I wouldn't - and I also know that I can have a happy life in a relationship or single.

The women (and men) who care are those who are materially, economically impacted by their spouse's adultery and abandonment. I know many female attorneys and even one female physician of my generation of women (late 40s and older) who gave up nascent and strong careers to make their spouse's ambitions and stellar professional achievements possible by taking care of every minute detail having to do with the children, home management, and all of the logistics and relocation issues (including new schools, activities, friends) associated with multiple geographic career moves. I recall the man in one of these couples asking his wife, "where is the children's pediatrician located?", when his children were already teens. Honestly, how are you so engaged in your career that you do not even know where your child's pediatrician is located? And yet in some of these marriages the stay-at-home wife (or husband) has solely handled all of the domestic duties.

In those type of marriages, the stay-at-home woman (or man) left behind in their mid-40s and beyond, with a professional gap of 15 years or more, is simply not well situated to find employment and develop a career that will sustain them comfortably until their death. They have effectively missed all of the years of a successful career's development, rise, and economic fruition, and they will never, ever get those prime earning years and professional opportunities back. That is who cares.

Well, this is not a good move for ANY woman. This is not new news that successful men cheat (they have young women at work throwing themselves at them). Why you would give up your career and life for some man to chase his dreams and eventually just become unappreciated and undervalued over time, I simply cannot understand nor have a ton of sympathy for someone setting themselves up.

So many of my Male colleagues run around on their wives. O alway wonder does the wife turn a blind eye to maintain her lifestyle? Is she truly clueless? Or is he just that good at covering his tracks? These men get such huge egos with all the opportunity their power and koneybopen up.

At least of you maintain a career you maintain an identity and a separate life outside of your DH and kids.

I guess that's where the whole "til death do us part" clause was supposed to come in. Clearly it's meaningless now.

It has always been meaningless ever since women were allowed to earn an income that could sustain themselves. When will women learn that a Man is not The Plan?

[Anonymous]

I guess that's where the whole "til death do us part" clause was supposed to come in. Clearly it's meaningless now.

A marriage license isn’t a suicide pact.