Mom or wife first?

[Anonymous]

Yes it is not a competition...and even if it is not what one *should* do, for me definitely kids first. This will sound odd to those of you who say spouse first, but to me there is something different about being related by blood vs by marriage. Not like I tell my husband this so explicitly, of course he is aware we both putting the kids first for now, but I doubt he understands my reasons. That why I can’t identify at all with the aforementioned piece written by Michael Chabon’s wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. Sports
2. Work
3. Cell Phone
4. Manhood
5. Passing Gas
5. Parents
6. Wife and Kids

6. Your wife and kids live with you in your mom’s basement?

Forgot one.

5.5 Man Cave.

[Anonymous]

Manhood includes all things sexual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me first

The best choice! Never place anyone above yourself.

[Anonymous]

Our children definitely need a lot of our attention, but they cannot cause us to be distracted from the needs of our husbands. I don't think it's a matter of whether or not your husband is a well adjusted adult. He married you because he got something from you that was important to him like your attention, love, support, encouragement.... whatever it was. If you allow your children to draw that away from him and get your focus solely on them, I think you will wreck your marriage. I am speaking from personal experience. I have wrecked my marriage to a wonderful man.

[Anonymous]

Both parents need to focus on the kids. If both are doing that, there will be time to focus on each other. If only one is raising the kids, then more difficult to generate time or energy for absentee spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our children definitely need a lot of our attention, but they cannot cause us to be distracted from the needs of our husbands. I don't think it's a matter of whether or not your husband is a well adjusted adult. He married you because he got something from you that was important to him like your attention, love, support, encouragement.... whatever it was. If you allow your children to draw that away from him and get your focus solely on them, I think you will wreck your marriage. I am speaking from personal experience. I have wrecked my marriage to a wonderful man.

Oh puke. You sounds like The Giving Tree, to your ex husband.

[Anonymous]

What if he’s married to his work? Isn’t providing for his family the thing to do? So work comes first, duh.

[Anonymous]

Spouse must always be first.
The protection and nurture of children must be primary when the children are small, but the spouse must be first.