Tell me about being a mistress

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to do it, go for a very wealthy guy who has an understanding with his wife (she has her playthings, he has his). Otherwise it’s really not worth the hassle. With a regular joe, you have to deal with a pretty restricted schedule and very limited money. I know you say you just want sex, but “just sex” gets boring very quickly. You need other activities to help increase attraction. Also, he’ll be paranoid about getting caught, so if the parents of a kid in his class walk in the restaurant you’re at, you have to go hide (I speak from experience....)

Agreed successful men make the best APs and have more power in the marriage to not care so much what the wife thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind he’ll probably have a whole sob story about how his wife won’t have sex with him and is an all-around witch. You’ll feel sorry for him. Then one day, years from now when you’re married with kids, you’ll realize that the wife wasn’t the problem. There’s a reason wives lose interest, and it’s because their husbands are losers. Although, you may be able to find a guy whose wife would be thrilled if you have an affair, since it means he’ll stop bugging her for sex.

Explain how such "loser" husbands can attract an affair partner? Does not really matter WHY the wife lost interest anyway, once she starts feeling "bugged" for sex, both spouses benefit when he focuses on affairs rather than his disinterested wife.

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I don’t recommend it unless you can snag someone worthwhile. Way easier to just find a FWB. Single guys also tend to be much hotter than married guys (who generally let themselves go).

Married guys who aren't getting sex at home are highly motivated to NOT let themselves go, otherwise they have little chance of success attracting a partner. Single guys are usually single for a reason, and they don't need to be "hot" because they simply dangle the "committed relationship" carrot and easily find sex. Whereas married men must work at being "hot".

That may be how it works in MRA fantasy land, but that’s not how it works in real life. I’ve never heard any women say “well he’s fat and ugly and can’t dress himself, but gee, he’s willing to commit! This is the one!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to do it, go for a very wealthy guy who has an understanding with his wife (she has her playthings, he has his). Otherwise it’s really not worth the hassle. With a regular joe, you have to deal with a pretty restricted schedule and very limited money. I know you say you just want sex, but “just sex” gets boring very quickly. You need other activities to help increase attraction. Also, he’ll be paranoid about getting caught, so if the parents of a kid in his class walk in the restaurant you’re at, you have to go hide (I speak from experience....)

Agreed successful men make the best APs and have more power in the marriage to not care so much what the wife thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind he’ll probably have a whole sob story about how his wife won’t have sex with him and is an all-around witch. You’ll feel sorry for him. Then one day, years from now when you’re married with kids, you’ll realize that the wife wasn’t the problem. There’s a reason wives lose interest, and it’s because their husbands are losers. Although, you may be able to find a guy whose wife would be thrilled if you have an affair, since it means he’ll stop bugging her for sex.

Explain how such "loser" husbands can attract an affair partner? Does not really matter WHY the wife lost interest anyway, once she starts feeling "bugged" for sex, both spouses benefit when he focuses on affairs rather than his disinterested wife.

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I don’t recommend it unless you can snag someone worthwhile. Way easier to just find a FWB. Single guys also tend to be much hotter than married guys (who generally let themselves go).

Married guys who aren't getting sex at home are highly motivated to NOT let themselves go, otherwise they have little chance of success attracting a partner. Single guys are usually single for a reason, and they don't need to be "hot" because they simply dangle the "committed relationship" carrot and easily find sex. Whereas married men must work at being "hot".

That may be how it works in MRA fantasy land, but that’s not how it works in real life. I’ve never heard any women say “well he’s fat and ugly and can’t dress himself, but gee, he’s willing to commit! This is the one!”

Agreed, women do not say that. But you need to ignore what women SAY, instead pay close attention to what women DO. In real life, single women most certainly find single men attractive mainly because they are .... single. Any random fat/ugly man, so long as he has a steady job and offers the prospect of a steady relationship, can easily get a date (ie, sex). A married man has to bring something different to the table (ie, he must actually be "hot") because he has already spent his "commitment card" on his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to do it, go for a very wealthy guy who has an understanding with his wife (she has her playthings, he has his). Otherwise it’s really not worth the hassle. With a regular joe, you have to deal with a pretty restricted schedule and very limited money. I know you say you just want sex, but “just sex” gets boring very quickly. You need other activities to help increase attraction. Also, he’ll be paranoid about getting caught, so if the parents of a kid in his class walk in the restaurant you’re at, you have to go hide (I speak from experience....)

Agreed successful men make the best APs and have more power in the marriage to not care so much what the wife thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind he’ll probably have a whole sob story about how his wife won’t have sex with him and is an all-around witch. You’ll feel sorry for him. Then one day, years from now when you’re married with kids, you’ll realize that the wife wasn’t the problem. There’s a reason wives lose interest, and it’s because their husbands are losers. Although, you may be able to find a guy whose wife would be thrilled if you have an affair, since it means he’ll stop bugging her for sex.

Explain how such "loser" husbands can attract an affair partner? Does not really matter WHY the wife lost interest anyway, once she starts feeling "bugged" for sex, both spouses benefit when he focuses on affairs rather than his disinterested wife.

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I don’t recommend it unless you can snag someone worthwhile. Way easier to just find a FWB. Single guys also tend to be much hotter than married guys (who generally let themselves go).

Married guys who aren't getting sex at home are highly motivated to NOT let themselves go, otherwise they have little chance of success attracting a partner. Single guys are usually single for a reason, and they don't need to be "hot" because they simply dangle the "committed relationship" carrot and easily find sex. Whereas married men must work at being "hot".

Married men absolutely let themselves go. https://www.thecut.com/2014/01/study-men-let-themselves-go-after-marriage.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I've never cheated on anyone nor facilitated cheating. I'm just tired of the heartache that comes from love and relationships. Even in the case of a FWB situation, there's a (strong) chance that feelings will develop within one of the two parties, or both. A married man seems "safe" because there's no future - that's part of the deal.

I wish there was a way to verify if a married guy had a wife who was happy to look the other way, or had her own extracurricular activities going on. I don't want to blow up someone's (seemingly) perfect home life.

Men with perfect home lives don’t have affairs. That’s just something their wives say as they canonize themselves St Cheated-Upon. The problem might not be what you think (usually the wife is at least giving up maintenance sex every other week), but there are always problems.

But regardless, there is no upside to married men.

I was having enthusiastic sex with my ex at least three times a week...including BJs most every time.

There was a problem in our relationship...he had Narcissistic Personality Disorder and couldn't stand that I was becoming a competent and successful woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to do it, go for a very wealthy guy who has an understanding with his wife (she has her playthings, he has his). Otherwise it’s really not worth the hassle. With a regular joe, you have to deal with a pretty restricted schedule and very limited money. I know you say you just want sex, but “just sex” gets boring very quickly. You need other activities to help increase attraction. Also, he’ll be paranoid about getting caught, so if the parents of a kid in his class walk in the restaurant you’re at, you have to go hide (I speak from experience....)

Agreed successful men make the best APs and have more power in the marriage to not care so much what the wife thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind he’ll probably have a whole sob story about how his wife won’t have sex with him and is an all-around witch. You’ll feel sorry for him. Then one day, years from now when you’re married with kids, you’ll realize that the wife wasn’t the problem. There’s a reason wives lose interest, and it’s because their husbands are losers. Although, you may be able to find a guy whose wife would be thrilled if you have an affair, since it means he’ll stop bugging her for sex.

Explain how such "loser" husbands can attract an affair partner? Does not really matter WHY the wife lost interest anyway, once she starts feeling "bugged" for sex, both spouses benefit when he focuses on affairs rather than his disinterested wife.

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I don’t recommend it unless you can snag someone worthwhile. Way easier to just find a FWB. Single guys also tend to be much hotter than married guys (who generally let themselves go).

Married guys who aren't getting sex at home are highly motivated to NOT let themselves go, otherwise they have little chance of success attracting a partner. Single guys are usually single for a reason, and they don't need to be "hot" because they simply dangle the "committed relationship" carrot and easily find sex. Whereas married men must work at being "hot".

That may be how it works in MRA fantasy land, but that’s not how it works in real life. I’ve never heard any women say “well he’s fat and ugly and can’t dress himself, but gee, he’s willing to commit! This is the one!”

Agreed, women do not say that. But you need to ignore what women SAY, instead pay close attention to what women DO. In real life, single women most certainly find single men attractive mainly because they are .... single. Any random fat/ugly man, so long as he has a steady job and offers the prospect of a steady relationship, can easily get a date (ie, sex). A married man has to bring something different to the table (ie, he must actually be "hot") because he has already spent his "commitment card" on his wife.

Now you’ve changed your original statement to add in “steady job”. Of course women find that more attractive than a guy who lives in his mom’s basement but is willing to commit. That’s like saying women don’t need to be hot, they can just dangle the “I have a vagina” carrot and get sex with any guy they want. Sure, to an extent; it probably won’t work if she’s 300 pounds.

But hey, you do you. I’m sure you spend your weekends getting laid like tile from beautiful 20 year old women, not on a forum for parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re going to do it, go for a very wealthy guy who has an understanding with his wife (she has her playthings, he has his). Otherwise it’s really not worth the hassle. With a regular joe, you have to deal with a pretty restricted schedule and very limited money. I know you say you just want sex, but “just sex” gets boring very quickly. You need other activities to help increase attraction. Also, he’ll be paranoid about getting caught, so if the parents of a kid in his class walk in the restaurant you’re at, you have to go hide (I speak from experience....)

Agreed successful men make the best APs and have more power in the marriage to not care so much what the wife thinks.

Anonymous wrote:Also keep in mind he’ll probably have a whole sob story about how his wife won’t have sex with him and is an all-around witch. You’ll feel sorry for him. Then one day, years from now when you’re married with kids, you’ll realize that the wife wasn’t the problem. There’s a reason wives lose interest, and it’s because their husbands are losers. Although, you may be able to find a guy whose wife would be thrilled if you have an affair, since it means he’ll stop bugging her for sex.

Explain how such "loser" husbands can attract an affair partner? Does not really matter WHY the wife lost interest anyway, once she starts feeling "bugged" for sex, both spouses benefit when he focuses on affairs rather than his disinterested wife.

Anonymous wrote:Overall, I don’t recommend it unless you can snag someone worthwhile. Way easier to just find a FWB. Single guys also tend to be much hotter than married guys (who generally let themselves go).

Married guys who aren't getting sex at home are highly motivated to NOT let themselves go, otherwise they have little chance of success attracting a partner. Single guys are usually single for a reason, and they don't need to be "hot" because they simply dangle the "committed relationship" carrot and easily find sex. Whereas married men must work at being "hot".

That may be how it works in MRA fantasy land, but that’s not how it works in real life. I’ve never heard any women say “well he’s fat and ugly and can’t dress himself, but gee, he’s willing to commit! This is the one!”

Do you ever not blame men for everything? The MRA stuff is just like Hilary calling everyone a Bernie bro. Try constructing a logical argument instead of name calling.

[Anonymous]

goodbadboy wrote:More accurately, Divorced Men Let Themselves Go

Also this:
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4624866/amp/Men-really-let-getting-married.html

[Anonymous]

Married men do need to be hot, otherwise why bother with them? The same with FWB, there's no need in f@cking the fat boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married men do need to be hot, otherwise why bother with them? The same with FWB, there's no need in f@cking the fat boy.

Married men need to be rich more than hot. Money can make up for fat, old and ugly. Look at POTUS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now you’ve changed your original statement to add in “steady job”. Of course women find that more attractive than a guy who lives in his mom’s basement but is willing to commit. That’s like saying women don’t need to be hot, they can just dangle the “I have a vagina” carrot and get sex with any guy they want. Sure, to an extent; it probably won’t work if she’s 300 pounds.

But hey, you do you. I’m sure you spend your weekends getting laid like tile from beautiful 20 year old women, not on a forum for parents.

You changed my original statement to add in extreme wild negatives "fat and ugly and can’t dress himself" so it's more than fair I should add in neutral "steady job" without me resorting to wild extremes like 7 figure income. My point stands: single guys don't need to offer very much beyond their singleton status to find dates (sex). Married men seeking a mistress need to actually look good.

Thanks for your concern over my sex life, but I'm married and have a wife who meets my needs so I have no reason to pursue 20 yo women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now you’ve changed your original statement to add in “steady job”. Of course women find that more attractive than a guy who lives in his mom’s basement but is willing to commit. That’s like saying women don’t need to be hot, they can just dangle the “I have a vagina” carrot and get sex with any guy they want. Sure, to an extent; it probably won’t work if she’s 300 pounds.

But hey, you do you. I’m sure you spend your weekends getting laid like tile from beautiful 20 year old women, not on a forum for parents.

You changed my original statement to add in extreme wild negatives "fat and ugly and can’t dress himself" so it's more than fair I should add in neutral "steady job" without me resorting to wild extremes like 7 figure income. My point stands: single guys don't need to offer very much beyond their singleton status to find dates (sex). Married men seeking a mistress need to actually look good.

Thanks for your concern over my sex life, but I'm married and have a wife who meets my needs so I have no reason to pursue 20 yo women.

A married man is telling single guys how they can find sex? Oooookay.

[Anonymous]

I'm the wife. A man who treats his wife this way will consider you a plaything. That's it. Prepare to be hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now you’ve changed your original statement to add in “steady job”. Of course women find that more attractive than a guy who lives in his mom’s basement but is willing to commit. That’s like saying women don’t need to be hot, they can just dangle the “I have a vagina” carrot and get sex with any guy they want. Sure, to an extent; it probably won’t work if she’s 300 pounds.

But hey, you do you. I’m sure you spend your weekends getting laid like tile from beautiful 20 year old women, not on a forum for parents.

You changed my original statement to add in extreme wild negatives "fat and ugly and can’t dress himself" so it's more than fair I should add in neutral "steady job" without me resorting to wild extremes like 7 figure income. My point stands: single guys don't need to offer very much beyond their singleton status to find dates (sex). Married men seeking a mistress need to actually look good.

Thanks for your concern over my sex life, but I'm married and have a wife who meets my needs so I have no reason to pursue 20 yo women.

A married man is telling single guys how they can find sex? Oooookay.

No. Single men know how to find sex: just stay single. I was explaining that to a married woman.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want your DH to have an affair you need to keep sex alive. I don't have the same sexual desire I had when I was 35 (now 57) but I know my DH does. Menopause plays a depressant role both mentally and physically and there is not much you can do to fight it. But, while I don't have the same desire I do find that once we get started I really do enjoy it the same as I did years ago. It's very strange that I don't have the desire but I do still respond. At the same time it's fun for me to still be able to arouse my DH and often exhaust him. Over time I've become very comfortable doing things that once were outside my comfort zone but are now fun for both of us.