I think we have been dropped from playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let us know what happened, OP - tell us if the playgroup goes back to afternoons next week.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

[Anonymous]

Ohmigod.. the horror and nerve of a HOST, who opens her home weekly, without reciprocation, to a bunch of toddlers and their parents, changing the time of that gathering temporarily to something that actually works better for her and her family. I can’t get over her rudeness at not considering the (unusual) needs of YOUR child, above the needs of herself and the whole group, first and foremost.

You’re proof that no good deed goes unpunished. This woman continues to invite you, despite your child being problematic, and you can’t get over the fact she doesn’t “like” your child. If you actually framed it from HER standpoint, you’d see that hosting a playgroup after Her child’s nap and before dinner, every week, is a huge PITA. But she does these things anyway.

So really, OP, what it YOUR issue with her? She is inclusive. She opens her home. She communicates. What do YOU do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

You keep saying it was perfect but obviously not since your child was not adapting to it. It may have felt perfect for you and you feel left out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/695413.page

That the previous topic.

OP, you gotta start working on your DD. Discipline, manners and yes, saying NO to her. Emphatically.

I don't know what your connection is to the playgroup (how you joined it in the first place), but it sounds that the host is possibly a higher socio-economic status, with yard, space and time to host and toys that your daughter covets.

Please get your head around this: unless you make an effort to teach your child appropriate behaviors she will be shunned by other parents, by peers and eventually teachers will have a negative view of her. She will only fit in with other "spirited" children or even more unruly ones. Don't set her up for failure like this. She will benefit from boundaries, manners, and your firm "No".

Actually, no - that wasn't my thread. My thread was about thinking the playgroup host didn't like my child in particular. Indoor/outdoor space with sensory bins...

Why didn't you rotate hosting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

Please stop and try to understand. The 3-5 playgroup was perfect for you and your child. Your child made it far from perfect for the other parents and children.

Until you understand and process that you need to work harder on finding ways to get your child to socialize acceptably, then you and your child are a problem for everyone else. You need to remedy this before you join another playgroup. Your child is strong-willed and aggressive. She is bullying other children in the playgroup. Even though you try to intercede, your child is still a problem for the other children. I'm sorry that you have a difficult child, but the other parents should not have to deal with your child. I have a timid boy who would get bullied in a playgroup. We ended up leaving the playgroup because of another boy who was like your daughter, and the mother did not adequately control her child. I'm not going to a playgroup where my child gets bullied and the other parent is not able to control her little bully. We went a few times, but the third time her child hit my child and took a toy, was the last time we went. The host wanted us to come back (she liked us better than the bully) but she wasn't as good at standing up to the bully's mother as your host is and she never stopped him coming. From what I understand, the group only met two more times before the host finally cancelled it because others like us were bailing.

Again, I'm sorry you have a difficult child, but you have to fix that problem before you inflict your child on other playgroups. I'm sorry that I have to be so blunt, but you clearly haven't been taking the hints from the playgroup or the hostess of the playgroup, so I'm trying to help you save face. Fix your child's issues first, then reconsider the playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

You keep saying it was perfect but obviously not since your child was not adapting to it. It may have felt perfect for you and you feel left out now.

My child LOVED it. She still asks for the little girl (meaning the playdate). She painted and got to run around and was very happy there. She is just not as calm as the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

So as suggested many times already, create your own 3-5 playgroup.

I've never heard of a play group that was ONLY hosted at one person's home ever. In a park, or other public place sure, but never just one person's home with no reciprocation. Set up a park playgroup for 3-5:00.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I don't know what to tell you... The host does have playgroup and she is the only one who hosts it. That is just the way the has always been.

And I do work on my child's behavior - all the time. It is just harder for her. Maybe she isn't as smart as the other kids and maybe I am just not doing it right, but I do try every minute of every day. And I stay on top of her as much as I can in the playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

You keep saying it was perfect but obviously not since your child was not adapting to it. It may have felt perfect for you and you feel left out now.

My child LOVED it. She still asks for the little girl (meaning the playdate). She painted and got to run around and was very happy there. She is just not as calm as the other kids.

This woman let a group of toddlers PAINT in her house? And you’re complaining?! Let your child paint at home.

I’m sorry, she deserves a medal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know what to tell you... The host does have playgroup and she is the only one who hosts it. That is just the way the has always been.

And I do work on my child's behavior - all the time. It is just harder for her. Maybe she isn't as smart as the other kids and maybe I am just not doing it right, but I do try every minute of every day. And I stay on top of her as much as I can in the playgroup.

Describe how you were on top of her when she was dumping beans repeatedly and the host was repeatedly asked her not to do it? (From the other thread). What constituted staying on top of her? That you're a warm body in the same room witnessing this and staying firmly seated on your butt and silent?

The other thread had a lot of insights and good advice. You ignored all of it. Now you get the natural consequence, like a toddler - you're kicked out for good.

If your daughter loved the playgroup so much then YOU should have made the damn surest that you're a pleasant and cooperative guest whom people love to invite over and over again. You're the opposite of that. Nobody owes you invites, nobody owes you entertainment for your wild child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know what to tell you... The host does have playgroup and she is the only one who hosts it. That is just the way the has always been.

And I do work on my child's behavior - all the time. It is just harder for her. Maybe she isn't as smart as the other kids and maybe I am just not doing it right, but I do try every minute of every day. And I stay on top of her as much as I can in the playgroup.

And she could very likely be much smarter. I think you were blessed with a child who is a very difficult but to crack. I’m not saying throw your hands up, but don’t think for a minute your child is stupid because she has a hard time being still and listening. That’s all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I am really sorry. That's hard. With that being said, I would do whatever I could possibly do to get your kid into some sort of structured daycare setting for at least a few hours a week. There are a range of kids in my DD's classroom (2.5) and the teachers get ALL of them to regularly sit for story time. When I go to pick up in the afternoon, they have somehow magically gotten 11 wild children to sit and listen to a book. I don't think that your child not being able to sit through a 3 minute story time is normal for that age...I would really work on boundaries and I think sometimes outside professionals are needed for this.

As for the playgroup, host something at the park or shift nap time to noon and go from 10-11:30. 3-5 playgroup sounds like a nightmare, TBH.

We can't afford daycare or preschool at this point. And the 3-5 playgroup was perfect for my child.

You keep saying it was perfect but obviously not since your child was not adapting to it. It may have felt perfect for you and you feel left out now.

My child LOVED it. She still asks for the little girl (meaning the playdate). She painted and got to run around and was very happy there. She is just not as calm as the other kids.

This woman let a group of toddlers PAINT in her house? And you’re complaining?! Let your child paint at home.

I’m sorry, she deserves a medal.

I wouldn't have phrased it quite the same way, although I agree. Painting is something that you do with relatively calm children. Obviously the other children are quite well behaved, perhaps even more so than those on this thread were even imagining. A bunch of calm kids who can sit and paint nicely as well as run around and also play together nicely without anybody grabbing or being aggressive... your child just doesn't fit in there, OP. You may think it's "perfect" for YOU, meaning that your child is on the receiving end of a bunch of good stuff (painting, a place to run around, some friends who wouldn't choose to spend time with her otherwise, models of appropriate behavior from the other children), but it certainly wasn't perfect for everyone else.

You remind me of the mother who decided to have more kids than she could handle so she dumped her older kids at the neighbor every single morning to take to school. It's called having an entitled attitude, and life just doesn't work that way. I'm sorry that you weren't taught this growing up, but it's time that you learn it now. If you want people to want to have a relationship with you, you need to offer something in return. You can't just take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't know what to tell you... The host does have playgroup and she is the only one who hosts it. That is just the way the has always been.

And I do work on my child's behavior - all the time. It is just harder for her. Maybe she isn't as smart as the other kids and maybe I am just not doing it right, but I do try every minute of every day. And I stay on top of her as much as I can in the playgroup.

And she could very likely be much smarter. I think you were blessed with a child who is a very difficult but to crack. I’m not saying throw your hands up, but don’t think for a minute your child is stupid because she has a hard time being still and listening. That’s all.

Maybe and maybe not - it is certainly well within the possible that OP's child is not as smart as the other kids. Or has other issues like ADHD or a processing disorder.