I think we have been dropped from playgroup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So what. All of the posters saying it’s due to OP’s personality and her child are assholes. I’m judgemtal? Do you even hear yourselves? You are taking pleasure I. This woman’s pain, telling her it’s because she can’t control her child, who is clearly not capable of behaving at this point. It’s a cant versus won’t for most young kids. Your stellar parenting has little to do with it.

And op has posted before about how these parents make her feel and how they run their group. It’s clearly a very uptight situation with monitored sensory bins. I mean, ffs. Get over yourselves. At no point did I say op is owed anything from the host mother. I think she should run screaming from the hills from his bunch of nuts.

You seem unhinged. I agree that some posters have blamed OP's parenting or her kid without basis. But the reality of the situation is that the host mom is hosting this free playgroup at her house, and whatever her reason, she's not obligated to have it at a time that she doesn't want to. OP is not entitled to a playgroup hosted by someone else, where someone else does all the work of hosting, at the time of her choosing, even if it was "perfect" for her child.

I don’t think your can read. I just said exactly that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So what. All of the posters saying it’s due to OP’s personality and her child are assholes. I’m judgemtal? Do you even hear yourselves? You are taking pleasure I. This woman’s pain, telling her it’s because she can’t control her child, who is clearly not capable of behaving at this point. It’s a cant versus won’t for most young kids. Your stellar parenting has little to do with it.

And op has posted before about how these parents make her feel and how they run their group. It’s clearly a very uptight situation with monitored sensory bins. I mean, ffs. Get over yourselves. At no point did I say op is owed anything from the host mother. I think she should run screaming from the hills from his bunch of nuts.

You seem unhinged. I agree that some posters have blamed OP's parenting or her kid without basis. But the reality of the situation is that the host mom is hosting this free playgroup at her house, and whatever her reason, she's not obligated to have it at a time that she doesn't want to. OP is not entitled to a playgroup hosted by someone else, where someone else does all the work of hosting, at the time of her choosing, even if it was "perfect" for her child.

+1

If OP feels badly, is treated badly, feels unwelcome.. the simple answer is to NOT ATTEND.

This is not a playgroup at a red centre where oP has paid hundreds of dollars to attend. It’s a free, community based playgroup at someone’s house. If she doesn’t like it, she can choose not to go. That she continues to go is a choice.

And I’ll admit, that that choice, despite OPs complaints to the contrary, are what makes me think OPs account is a little more than swayed by her own personal bias against host mom and the rest of the group. She really needs to decide what side she’s on, plus get a handle on her daughters behaviour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, op. I live in California in a major metropolitan city. I go to a playgroup very similar to this. The mom is a type-a, controlling, ocd type person. She works and employs a nanny who hosts the playgroup. She is just very controlling, and I’ve overheard she’s already in therapy. She has one child, and I think they will have to stop there. She’s just too OCD to deal with more. Anyway, I feel like you’ve gotten caught up in a group like this. Where everything needs to appear perfect. The moms are way too proud themselves for signing their kid up for every class they can find—art, gym, ballet, music. They really just need to get over themselves. I wouldn’t sweat the group. It will likely be fizzling out soon. Ours is. People are moving, and kids are already starting preschool. Good luck!

I love that you have nothing good to say but are apparently still taking your child to this playgroup! Too funny...

I guess it’s the sensory bins. Seriously though, OP, if these moms are anything like us don’t look back. You are better off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all seriously a bunch of harpies. OP is upset and you’re hammering her for sport. In real life, problem simplify aren’t this mean. If they are, I have been lucky enough not to encounter them.

Op, have you posted before that you’re worried your child may have special needs? Behavior is a developmental skill like walking or talking but much more complicated. For children with special needs it’s very hard to work on and it may take years. You don’t need women who make you feel even more nervous about your child and your parenting. So let go of this. Clearly, some people are precious. They are the ones that tend to have these kind of formal play groups. So you need to find a new tribe.

I think you should have your child evaluated. You sound concerned and there are free play groups through the county if she qualifies that would be so much more appropriate than a bunch of uptight judgmental bitches passive aggressively - and yes, posters, changing the time of a play group to get risk of a member is the epitome of passive aggression - monitoring their group. It’s going to fall apart this summer anyway when the kids start camps and preschools. So just put that out of your mind.

Parenting is a journey and it’s a very different experience for all of us. Some make cliques and it makes them feel better. They did this their whole lives. If that’s not your scene, that’s fine.

Come on, no one even knows that the host mother is even doing this! Maybe she just changed playgroup for the three weeks her kid is not in classes due to spring break and had no clue that OP's 2.5 yr old still napped at 11AM.

I think you are uptight and judgemental, PP.

Your post is stunningly judgemental, PP.

So what. All of the posters saying it’s due to OP’s personality and her child are assholes. I’m judgemtal? Do you even hear yourselves? You are taking pleasure I. This woman’s pain, telling her it’s because she can’t control her child, who is clearly not capable of behaving at this point. It’s a cant versus won’t for most young kids. Your stellar parenting has little to do with it.

And op has posted before about how these parents make her feel and how they run their group. It’s clearly a very uptight situation with monitored sensory bins. I mean, ffs. Get over yourselves. At no point did I say op is owed anything from the host mother. I think she should run screaming from the hills from his bunch of nuts.

Except OP is desperate to be part of this group. Doesn't compute, huh, if they are all bad people - uptight, mean and unwelcoming? Maybe she was treated well, until the host's patience has run out or there was a last straw type of event at a recent playgroup.
She keeps saying how perfect and convenient the group was for her without understanding that her lack of parenting was ruining it for everybody else. This is why PPs said that she has an entitled attitude.

[Anonymous]

The PPs defending the OP should go back and read the other thread. Some people started defending her there too, saying that the host must be OCD or something, most likely a FTM, and that OP's kid must be totally normal and OP was doing nothing wrong... and it came out that

1) The reason OP was just sitting around chatting instead of appropriately supervising her child (which in the case of her particular child would involve "hovering") was that the others have kids the same age and *they* were sitting around chatting, so she felt that she could do that too. She doesn't understand that all kids are different. And I strongly doubt that OP's laziness ceases to be an issue when leaving the playgroup, so I can imagine her "relaxing" at home as well. Basically the other parents have put in work that she seems unwilling to put in, and she doesn't get that

2) The host's child actually had 2 siblings (boys, IIRC) a bit older. So not a FTM, and instead someone who has almost certainly seen some fairly rough behavior. (I'm saying that as a mom with 2 boys myself.)

3) All of the other kids could play along nicely, and play with the toys nicely. OP's child was the only disruptive one in a group of otherwise very well-parented kids.

4) The host mom was having to actually continually correct OP's kid, sometimes even regarding the same toy. If she can get there in time, call out faster, etc, than OP when OP is supposed to be 100% looking after her own kid, then OP is certainly not appropriately supervising her child.

So not an issue with the host and most certainly an issue with the OP.

And that's even if the group wasn't being hosted at someone's private residence where they are of course free to invite (or disinvite, as it were) whomever they choose.

[Anonymous]

And op has posted before about how these parents make her feel and how they run their group. It’s clearly a very uptight situation with monitored sensory bins. I mean, ffs. Get over yourselves. At no point did I say op is owed anything from the host mother. I think she should run screaming from the hills from his bunch of nuts.


You seem unhinged. I agree that some posters have blamed OP's parenting or her kid without basis. But the reality of the situation is that the host mom is hosting this free playgroup at her house, and whatever her reason, she's not obligated to have it at a time that she doesn't want to. OP is not entitled to a playgroup hosted by someone else, where someone else does all the work of hosting, at the time of her choosing, even if it was "perfect" for her child.

I don’t think your can read. I just said exactly that.

Your can read? Classy. And read your own bolded post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op there's several things going on here:

1. The old 3-5 time for playgroup is STUPID. It's too late in the day, runs into dinner prep time and rush hour traffic. She's a newbie playgroup mom and probably finally figured that out and changed it.

2. Every playgroup my kids were ever in was from 10-12 or something similar so they would play them go home an eat lunch and nap. That is the typical playgroup time that works best for toddler schedules. Your DD has a weird naptime so she misses out.

3. Her nap is way too early and that's probably why she's a nightmare in the afternoons. You need to be putting her down from like 1-3, not 11 am. That leaves way too long of an afternoon stretch for her to keep it together.

4. If you don't get on top of her aggression and difficult behavior, she will eventually be shunned by the kids themselves, not just their moms. Get some help to work on that before preschool. It's in her own best interest.

5. Finally, even if you live in a condo, invite people for 1:1 play dates (she honestly may do better with these) or an outside location that you suggest to everyone and plan and bring snacks for. In playgroups, you don't HAVE to host at your house if you don't have the space, but you do have to take your turn hosting. Every playgroup my kids were ever in hated that one parent who came to everyone else's house to eat and make a mess but never ever ever hosted herself. It's rude.

Great post with helpful advice.

[tashak]

OP, are you the same mom who posted a while ago about overhearing two moms in the playgroup
gossiping that your child might have ADHD? And that your child kept throwing blocks after
twice "asking" her to stop?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The PPs defending the OP should go back and read the other thread. Some people started defending her there too, saying that the host must be OCD or something, most likely a FTM, and that OP's kid must be totally normal and OP was doing nothing wrong... and it came out that

1) The reason OP was just sitting around chatting instead of appropriately supervising her child (which in the case of her particular child would involve "hovering") was that the others have kids the same age and *they* were sitting around chatting, so she felt that she could do that too. She doesn't understand that all kids are different. And I strongly doubt that OP's laziness ceases to be an issue when leaving the playgroup, so I can imagine her "relaxing" at home as well. Basically the other parents have put in work that she seems unwilling to put in, and she doesn't get that

2) The host's child actually had 2 siblings (boys, IIRC) a bit older. So not a FTM, and instead someone who has almost certainly seen some fairly rough behavior. (I'm saying that as a mom with 2 boys myself.)

3) All of the other kids could play along nicely, and play with the toys nicely. OP's child was the only disruptive one in a group of otherwise very well-parented kids.

4) The host mom was having to actually continually correct OP's kid, sometimes even regarding the same toy. If she can get there in time, call out faster, etc, than OP when OP is supposed to be 100% looking after her own kid, then OP is certainly not appropriately supervising her child.

So not an issue with the host and most certainly an issue with the OP.

And that's even if the group wasn't being hosted at someone's private residence where they are of course free to invite (or disinvite, as it were) whomever they choose.

This is a great summary of what we learned about OP in the other thread. She refused the advice there apparently and is now facing the consequence of not changing her own behavior to better parent her child.

[Anonymous]

No one uses "lol" anymore, Grandma, much less "lololol".

The lol police have arrived. lololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.

Sift through the responses in this thread.. there’s some links already.

DP. Hmm...I only saw one link on page and the OP denied that was her.

Based on her description, I finally found her old thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.

Sift through the responses in this thread.. there’s some links already.

DP. Hmm...I only saw one link on page and the OP denied that was her.

Based on her description, I finally found her old thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

That should have been "page 5"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.

Sift through the responses in this thread.. there’s some links already.

DP. Hmm...I only saw one link on page and the OP denied that was her.

Based on her description, I finally found her old thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

That should have been "page 5"

She said no, but the story about the riding toy and rest of the story was consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.

Sift through the responses in this thread.. there’s some links already.

DP. Hmm...I only saw one link on page and the OP denied that was her.

Based on her description, I finally found her old thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

This is the one OP said was hers.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone point me to the previous thread? Thanks in advance.

Sift through the responses in this thread.. there’s some links already.

DP. Hmm...I only saw one link on page and the OP denied that was her.

Based on her description, I finally found her old thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

This is the one OP said was hers.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/701342.page

Interesting...you just posted the exact same link that I did right above. Did you have a problem with my link?