How to deal with “UVA mom” after rude remark?

[Anonymous]

Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter got into UVA and a top 20 private, thus far. Waiting on Ivy Day and Duke.

A mother I’m cordial with at her school was ecstatic her daughter got into UVA. When I mentioned my daughter waiting on other decisions before making up her mind the mother abrasively said, “What’s there to think about?” As if going to UVA was the end all be all and only a fool would need to mull over other options.

This woman is easily upper middle class. Both her and spouse are successful. UVA is a great value I just can’t stand people who go overboard like this.

What's the big god damn deal? Ignore and move on. Or did you just want to come on here and brag about the "better" schools your kid got into? JFC.

That was my thought too. This post has Humble brag all over it.

100%. OP is the one who is in the wrong.

OP, a quick etiquette lesson - when someone informs you about their child getting into college, whether it's Harvard or George Mason or NVCC, the correct response is "That's wonderful" or "Congratulations" or "Great news" unless you are close personal friends. She was proud and excited and you tried to one-up her by boasting. Rude and tacky.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What about student to teacher ratio? Aren't many first and second year courses 300 to 500+ seat lectures?

Find them: https://rabi.phys.virginia.edu/mySIS/CS2/page.php?Semester=1182

The only classes over 300 I found are intros in bio, chem, psych, and econ. I found more classes in the teens than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

THIS. It wasn't an invitation to compete. It was a moment to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daughter got into UVA and a top 20 private, thus far. Waiting on Ivy Day and Duke.

A mother I’m cordial with at her school was ecstatic her daughter got into UVA. When I mentioned my daughter waiting on other decisions before making up her mind the mother abrasively said, “What’s there to think about?” As if going to UVA was the end all be all and only a fool would need to mull over other options.

This woman is easily upper middle class. Both her and spouse are successful. UVA is a great value I just can’t stand people who go overboard like this.

Because people stay upper middle class by going to the best college for the best money. There is no other college that you mentioned that will be cheaper. If you want to overpay, fine. Most don’t. As a MD resident, I wish I had high caliber cheap options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter got into UVA and a top 20 private, thus far. Waiting on Ivy Day and Duke.

A mother I’m cordial with at her school was ecstatic her daughter got into UVA. When I mentioned my daughter waiting on other decisions before making up her mind the mother abrasively said, “What’s there to think about?” As if going to UVA was the end all be all and only a fool would need to mull over other options.

This woman is easily upper middle class. Both her and spouse are successful. UVA is a great value I just can’t stand people who go overboard like this.

What's the big god damn deal? Ignore and move on. Or did you just want to come on here and brag about the "better" schools your kid got into? JFC.

That was my thought too. This post has Humble brag all over it.

100%. OP is the one who is in the wrong.

OP, a quick etiquette lesson - when someone informs you about their child getting into college, whether it's Harvard or George Mason or NVCC, the correct response is "That's wonderful" or "Congratulations" or "Great news" unless you are close personal friends. She was proud and excited and you tried to one-up her by boasting. Rude and tacky.

+100

Yup

[Anonymous]

Great etiquette reminders in this thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

The "UVA mom" asked! Was OP supposed to lie to the woman and say he daughter has committed to UVA [too] even though she hasn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

The "UVA mom" asked! Was OP supposed to lie to the woman and say her daughter has committed to UVA [too] even though she hasn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What about student to teacher ratio? Aren't many first and second year courses 300 to 500+ seat lectures?

Find them: https://rabi.phys.virginia.edu/mySIS/CS2/page.php?Semester=1182

The only classes over 300 I found are intros in bio, chem, psych, and econ. I found more classes in the teens than anything.

I love how you casually dismiss intro courses, i.e. weed out courses. Sorry you bombed your first chem and bio courses, pre-med Suzy, maybe you can become an accountant instead?

[Anonymous]

It's really best to go dark and avoid other parents junior and senior year.

[Anonymous]

I love DCUM, where UVA is not considered an honor to get into. I didn't go there, not from here, but seriously? It is super hard to get into and most parents would be thrilled, as would their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

The "UVA mom" asked! Was OP supposed to lie to the woman and say he daughter has committed to UVA [too] even though she hasn't?

Only after OP “mentioned” she was waiting to see if her own DD got other (presumably better) offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazing but true: When someone tells you where their child is going, you can just talk about their child -- how excited s/he must be, what s/he wants to major in, how happy the parents must be. You can just shut up about your kid! You can!

The "UVA mom" asked! Was OP supposed to lie to the woman and say he daughter has committed to UVA [too] even though she hasn't?

Only after OP “mentioned” she was waiting to see if her own DD got other (presumably better) offers.

Maybe the UVA mom was asking if the girls can be roomies. OP would have to respond that she can't commit yet, which would lead to why, then disclosing awaiting other decisions.

[Anonymous]

Not the way OP told the story.