How to deal with “UVA mom” after rude remark?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread cracked me up because years ago, at a nova big box hs reception, I faced a similar mom. My daughter was between UVA and Wharton undergrad and chose Wharton. A UVA uber alles mom, whose son was going to UVA (the son was friends with my daughter) sneered at me (and my daughter) and made a bitchy remark about cost. Wharton was simply my daughter’s top choice and we made it happen.

I guess it depends on how you and your kid made Wharton happen. Not everyone is in the position to make things happen at OOS schools.

Personally, I think that Virginia has a nice selection of beautiful schools with awesome college towns to choose from.

It happened because our other kid was at UVA, we cash out refinanced, and I went back to work.

That choice worked for you and your daughter. That isn't something that would work for a lot of families. A parent reentering the workforce after a rather long absence may not be able to cover OOS tuition + a bigger house payment due to the refinance.

I would imagine that it would require the kid to qualify for at least partial merit scholarship, maybe work PT and get student loans for the costs that aren't covered. It can definitely be done if the kid wants it badly enough.

I hadn’t been out of the work force that long. It wasn’t easy and I totally understand not doing it. But DD makes seven figures so I think it was the right move for her.

Yeah, it sounds like you definitely made the right call if she is now making a seven figure annual income. That is crazy high even by DCUM standards. Great job!

[Anonymous]

OP, this UVA mom is just thrilled that her kid will be able to receive the honor of honors—a UVA degree. Her kid won a tooth and nails competition for one of a place in one of the most sought after schools in the country. Let her savor the moment and cut her some slack.

[Anonymous]

I had to double-check the date of OP's post because I remember one exactly like it a year ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this UVA mom is just thrilled that her kid will be able to receive the honor of honors—a UVA degree. Her kid won a tooth and nails competition for one of a place in one of the most sought after schools in the country. Let her savor the moment and cut her some slack.

I can’t tell if this is satire or the comment of a genuinely delusional person.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I find you're response much more pretentious. UVA is a great school and she was probably making a defensive joke because she didn't know how to respond. It wasn't a polite joke but honestly people who name drop where their children have been accepted are rather annoying. Especially when someone basically straight up says somewhere is a safety that 95% of students would love to go to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this UVA mom is just thrilled that her kid will be able to receive the honor of honors—a UVA degree. Her kid won a tooth and nails competition for one of a place in one of the most sought after schools in the country. Let her savor the moment and cut her some slack.

I can’t tell if this is satire or the comment of a genuinely delusional person.

I mean every word of it (except for the typos). If anything, I am understating the sheer joy instate parents feel in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this UVA mom is just thrilled that her kid will be able to receive the honor of honors—a UVA degree. Her kid won a tooth and nails competition for one of a place in one of the most sought after schools in the country. Let her savor the moment and cut her some slack.

I can’t tell if this is satire or the comment of a genuinely delusional person.

I mean every word of it (except for the typos). If anything, I am understating the sheer joy instate parents feel in these situations.

+1 An in state UVA acceptance is a much coveted thing. Let that mom bask in the glow of her kid's accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this UVA mom is just thrilled that her kid will be able to receive the honor of honors—a UVA degree. Her kid won a tooth and nails competition for one of a place in one of the most sought after schools in the country. Let her savor the moment and cut her some slack.

I can’t tell if this is satire or the comment of a genuinely delusional person.

I mean every word of it (except for the typos). If anything, I am understating the sheer joy instate parents feel in these situations.

Ka-ching! I got three in in-state universities. There is no way we could afford what SLACs, LACs and privates are going for today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter got into UVA and a top 20 private, thus far. Waiting on Ivy Day and Duke.

A mother I’m cordial with at her school was ecstatic her daughter got into UVA. When I mentioned my daughter waiting on other decisions before making up her mind the mother abrasively said, “What’s there to think about?” As if going to UVA was the end all be all and only a fool would need to mull over other options.

This woman is easily upper middle class. Both her and spouse are successful. UVA is a great value I just can’t stand people who go overboard like this.

What's the big god damn deal? Ignore and move on. Or did you just want to come on here and brag about the "better" schools your kid got into? JFC.

That was my thought too. This post has Humble brag all over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread cracked me up because years ago, at a nova big box hs reception, I faced a similar mom. My daughter was between UVA and Wharton undergrad and chose Wharton. A UVA uber alles mom, whose son was going to UVA (the son was friends with my daughter) sneered at me (and my daughter) and made a bitchy remark about cost. Wharton was simply my daughter’s top choice and we made it happen.

I guess it depends on how you and your kid made Wharton happen. Not everyone is in the position to make things happen at OOS schools.

Personally, I think that Virginia has a nice selection of beautiful schools with awesome college towns to choose from.

THIS. We’ve visited about seven different VA schools so far and loved all the small, picturesque towns. Lots to choose from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be even better is if your dd gets into an Ivy, you say how she was already in at UVA but was so excited when she heard about the other schools , then turn to the mom and say “oh UVA is a great school too”. I had a mom say something like that to me once.

Honestly there is no response to make to the mom. I think this was either more of her being a UVA booster or going on the offense that it’s a great choice so she isn’t on the defense if someone else rejects that choice.

The line to use is, “that’s a fine school too.”

LOL. That was me that posted the story and that was the exact line said to me. The kids talk so the other mom already knew where my dd was going and had started off saying that she heard my daughter was going to x school, then how her child had gotten in the same school, but how they really wanted to hear about y school. Then I think realized how that sounded and backtracked to say where dd was going was a fine school too.

At the end of the day, feel confident that where your child ends up is the place for him/her and really everything else is just noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daughter got into UVA and a top 20 private, thus far. Waiting on Ivy Day and Duke.

A mother I’m cordial with at her school was ecstatic her daughter got into UVA. When I mentioned my daughter waiting on other decisions before making up her mind the mother abrasively said, “What’s there to think about?” As if going to UVA was the end all be all and only a fool would need to mull over other options.

This woman is easily upper middle class. Both her and spouse are successful. UVA is a great value I just can’t stand people who go overboard like this.

What's the big god damn deal? Ignore and move on. Or did you just want to come on here and brag about the "better" schools your kid got into? JFC.

That was my thought too. This post has Humble brag all over it.

100%. OP is the one who is in the wrong.

OP, a quick etiquette lesson - when someone informs you about their child getting into college, whether it's Harvard or George Mason or NVCC, the correct response is "That's wonderful" or "Congratulations" or "Great news" unless you are close personal friends. She was proud and excited and you tried to one-up her by boasting. Rude and tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easy answer. UVA is ranked horribly low in all world university rankings. It's very weak in all the difficult subjects. That's why it has zero Nobel alumni and suprisingly few Pulitzers and Emmys. It also has no academy award alumni and no truly impactful alumni in the last 100 years. It's a safe school for safe people that fantasize for the old southern plantation. The world doesn't get the plantation fantasy.

Queens college in NY has Jerry Sinfeld and Fran Dreshner as alumii so guess it is better than UVA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Easy answer. UVA is ranked horribly low in all world university rankings. It's very weak in all the difficult subjects. That's why it has zero Nobel alumni and suprisingly few Pulitzers and Emmys. It also has no academy award alumni and no truly impactful alumni in the last 100 years. It's a safe school for safe people that fantasize for the old southern plantation. The world doesn't get the plantation fantasy.

Queens college in NY has Jerry Sinfeld and Fran Dreshner as alumii so guess it is better than UVA

Seinfeld is a genius.

Dresher is on the Laura Ingraham level.

[Anonymous]

How the deal? The interaction is over. Are you going to bring it up again?

“Hey remember when you said...”