Is there anyone whose male child doesn't have ADHD or ADD?

[Anonymous]

Excitotoxins? Like gluten and vegetable oils? Oh my.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Excitotoxins? Like gluten and vegetable oils? Oh my.

Actually, casein in dairy substances is thought to be worse for ADHD for both of those.

[Anonymous]

Two of my DS don’t have ADHD. My DD and my oldest DS does and is no longer on medication

[Anonymous]

What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

This is exactly the problem. It's quite possible that your child NEEDS to eat different foods than other kids his age.

And yes, I know it's hard. You'll probably find that some parents are "judgey" because WE DO KNOW what it's like. And we just can't believe that you'd rather see your kid suffer all the time than exhaust all possibilities for trying to help him.

My own kids are on a very restricted diet. It sucks. They can't have ANY processed food, or dairy or soy or gluten or egg whites, or they get all sorts of reactions. But you know what? They aren't on medication.

I promise you that medication a few times per day would be a thousand times easier than what we deal with. But we do it because it works and it's the best thing for our kids. The funny thing is that we didn't know that it would work when we tried it. We were desperate and we wanted to exhaust all possibilities. You have to commit and try it.

I know you don't see it this way, but right now, it's actually YOU who is judging... judging that it won't work... that testing for minerals etc is a waste of time... that your kid SHOULD be able to handle eating what everyone else is eating because that's what's fair or whatever. I agree with you that it's not fair. It's not fair at all that my kids can't eat the crap that other kids can eat and apparently still function fine. It's not fair that my kids had such messed up test results that the labs and doctors didn't believe it and had to do the tests again. But it is what it is. Some kids are different, and they need parents to acknowledge that and advocate for them in every way. And that includes seeking out a doctor who knows about these things (they're called functional or integrative doctors) and trying to heal your kid, rather than just putting on a bandaid so it's easier to get through the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

Do you think the same thing for students who need wheel chairs or guide dogs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

This is exactly the problem. It's quite possible that your child NEEDS to eat different foods than other kids his age.

And yes, I know it's hard. You'll probably find that some parents are "judgey" because WE DO KNOW what it's like. And we just can't believe that you'd rather see your kid suffer all the time than exhaust all possibilities for trying to help him.

My own kids are on a very restricted diet. It sucks. They can't have ANY processed food, or dairy or soy or gluten or egg whites, or they get all sorts of reactions. But you know what? They aren't on medication.

I promise you that medication a few times per day would be a thousand times easier than what we deal with. But we do it because it works and it's the best thing for our kids. The funny thing is that we didn't know that it would work when we tried it. We were desperate and we wanted to exhaust all possibilities. You have to commit and try it.

I know you don't see it this way, but right now, it's actually YOU who is judging... judging that it won't work... that testing for minerals etc is a waste of time... that your kid SHOULD be able to handle eating what everyone else is eating because that's what's fair or whatever. I agree with you that it's not fair. It's not fair at all that my kids can't eat the crap that other kids can eat and apparently still function fine. It's not fair that my kids had such messed up test results that the labs and doctors didn't believe it and had to do the tests again. But it is what it is. Some kids are different, and they need parents to acknowledge that and advocate for them in every way. And that includes seeking out a doctor who knows about these things (they're called functional or integrative doctors) and trying to heal your kid, rather than just putting on a bandaid so it's easier to get through the day.

+1

This is very well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

This is exactly the problem. It's quite possible that your child NEEDS to eat different foods than other kids his age.

And yes, I know it's hard. You'll probably find that some parents are "judgey" because WE DO KNOW what it's like. And we just can't believe that you'd rather see your kid suffer all the time than exhaust all possibilities for trying to help him.

My own kids are on a very restricted diet. It sucks. They can't have ANY processed food, or dairy or soy or gluten or egg whites, or they get all sorts of reactions. But you know what? They aren't on medication.

I promise you that medication a few times per day would be a thousand times easier than what we deal with. But we do it because it works and it's the best thing for our kids. The funny thing is that we didn't know that it would work when we tried it. We were desperate and we wanted to exhaust all possibilities. You have to commit and try it.

I know you don't see it this way, but right now, it's actually YOU who is judging... judging that it won't work... that testing for minerals etc is a waste of time... that your kid SHOULD be able to handle eating what everyone else is eating because that's what's fair or whatever. I agree with you that it's not fair. It's not fair at all that my kids can't eat the crap that other kids can eat and apparently still function fine. It's not fair that my kids had such messed up test results that the labs and doctors didn't believe it and had to do the tests again. But it is what it is. Some kids are different, and they need parents to acknowledge that and advocate for them in every way. And that includes seeking out a doctor who knows about these things (they're called functional or integrative doctors) and trying to heal your kid, rather than just putting on a bandaid so it's easier to get through the day.

There is no consensus of the scientific literature that functional or integrative medicine actually works. But you keep on keepin’ on with having all the answers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

Do you think the same thing for students who need wheel chairs or guide dogs?

NP ... No ... But drugging a kid up so he can go to the best school, vs non-medicated at a normal school? Seems like the academic equivalent of taking steroids to excel at a sport.

[Anonymous]

Mine doesn't. His three best friends (triplet boys) don't.

[Anonymous]

Mine don't. Sure, they can be as forgetful and scatterbrained as any 5-10yo boys - one more so than the other, for sure! But that doesn't mean he needs medication.

But then, my perspective is influenced by my chosen profession. I'm a pilot. The FAA considers ADD/ADHD disqualifying, even for a private pilot. And it's a lifetime diagnosis, there's no "growing out of it". So getting a diagnosis to help a kid get through middle school means he can't ever get a pilot's certificate (unless he can prove the original diagnosis was wrong - not that he grew out of it or learned to accommodate it, but that the diagnosing doctor was wrong - and if you think there initial evaluation takes a lot of time and money, that's nothing compared to trying to overturn it). It makes me sad to see SO many kids getting medicated, knowing that it cuts off options later in life. I know that it really is needed in some cases, but I think there are a lot of grey areas where parents seek a diagnosis in order to get extra support at school, to bring their kid from the bottom quartile to the top quartile (and helping set new expectations for what is considered "normal"), not having any idea that it will follow that kid for their entire life.

So, getting medication would have to be an absolute last resort, can't function without it, kind of thing. And we are nowhere near there. Sadly, I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that a kid is failing it he isn't at the top. And with so many kids on medication, the median bar keeps going up, increasing the pressure to get meds so the kid can keep up with his medicated peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine don't. Sure, they can be as forgetful and scatterbrained as any 5-10yo boys - one more so than the other, for sure! But that doesn't mean he needs medication.

But then, my perspective is influenced by my chosen profession. I'm a pilot. The FAA considers ADD/ADHD disqualifying, even for a private pilot. And it's a lifetime diagnosis, there's no "growing out of it". So getting a diagnosis to help a kid get through middle school means he can't ever get a pilot's certificate (unless he can prove the original diagnosis was wrong - not that he grew out of it or learned to accommodate it, but that the diagnosing doctor was wrong - and if you think there initial evaluation takes a lot of time and money, that's nothing compared to trying to overturn it). It makes me sad to see SO many kids getting medicated, knowing that it cuts off options later in life. I know that it really is needed in some cases, but I think there are a lot of grey areas where parents seek a diagnosis in order to get extra support at school, to bring their kid from the bottom quartile to the top quartile (and helping set new expectations for what is considered "normal"), not having any idea that it will follow that kid for their entire life.

So, getting medication would have to be an absolute last resort, can't function without it, kind of thing. And we are nowhere near there. Sadly, I think a lot of people get caught up in the idea that a kid is failing it he isn't at the top. And with so many kids on medication, the median bar keeps going up, increasing the pressure to get meds so the kid can keep up with his medicated peers.

Ha, I'm sure the public will thank me for getting my kid diagnosed. Lord knows you don't want him flying a plane. He's so inattentive that he once sat in a kitchen full of smoke from a fire on the stove and he didn't even notice because he was reading a book. I walked in and saw this and could not believe he didn't notice. He was 15. You definitely don't want him flying a plane. You probably don't want him driving down your street unmediated either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

This is exactly the problem. It's quite possible that your child NEEDS to eat different foods than other kids his age.

And yes, I know it's hard. You'll probably find that some parents are "judgey" because WE DO KNOW what it's like. And we just can't believe that you'd rather see your kid suffer all the time than exhaust all possibilities for trying to help him.

My own kids are on a very restricted diet. It sucks. They can't have ANY processed food, or dairy or soy or gluten or egg whites, or they get all sorts of reactions. But you know what? They aren't on medication.

I promise you that medication a few times per day would be a thousand times easier than what we deal with. But we do it because it works and it's the best thing for our kids. The funny thing is that we didn't know that it would work when we tried it. We were desperate and we wanted to exhaust all possibilities. You have to commit and try it.

I know you don't see it this way, but right now, it's actually YOU who is judging... judging that it won't work... that testing for minerals etc is a waste of time... that your kid SHOULD be able to handle eating what everyone else is eating because that's what's fair or whatever. I agree with you that it's not fair. It's not fair at all that my kids can't eat the crap that other kids can eat and apparently still function fine. It's not fair that my kids had such messed up test results that the labs and doctors didn't believe it and had to do the tests again. But it is what it is. Some kids are different, and they need parents to acknowledge that and advocate for them in every way. And that includes seeking out a doctor who knows about these things (they're called functional or integrative doctors) and trying to heal your kid, rather than just putting on a bandaid so it's easier to get through the day.

Sounds like your kid has food intolerances and allergies, not adhd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the purpose of this thread? It seems deliberately combative- my son has ADHD and it's a daily struggle. Currently we don't medicate and we revisit the decision often. He doesn't eat foods any different than other kids his age-- the nutritional game changer for him is protein. Poorly regulated blood sugar affects mood which affects behavior. Exercise, sleep, and a predictable routine help. None of it makes the ADHD go away- merely controls the worst symptoms.ADHD is a serious condition- it impacts all areas of functioning. Our current worry as my son enters the teen years is emotional self regulation and depression we watch for it closely-- that is the tipping point and that is the time he will be on meds. Judgey parents who have no idea what it's like to see your kid struggle, to make friends, to keep up-- you have no idea.

This is exactly the problem. It's quite possible that your child NEEDS to eat different foods than other kids his age.

And yes, I know it's hard. You'll probably find that some parents are "judgey" because WE DO KNOW what it's like. And we just can't believe that you'd rather see your kid suffer all the time than exhaust all possibilities for trying to help him.

My own kids are on a very restricted diet. It sucks. They can't have ANY processed food, or dairy or soy or gluten or egg whites, or they get all sorts of reactions. But you know what? They aren't on medication.

I promise you that medication a few times per day would be a thousand times easier than what we deal with. But we do it because it works and it's the best thing for our kids. The funny thing is that we didn't know that it would work when we tried it. We were desperate and we wanted to exhaust all possibilities. You have to commit and try it.

I know you don't see it this way, but right now, it's actually YOU who is judging... judging that it won't work... that testing for minerals etc is a waste of time... that your kid SHOULD be able to handle eating what everyone else is eating because that's what's fair or whatever. I agree with you that it's not fair. It's not fair at all that my kids can't eat the crap that other kids can eat and apparently still function fine. It's not fair that my kids had such messed up test results that the labs and doctors didn't believe it and had to do the tests again. But it is what it is. Some kids are different, and they need parents to acknowledge that and advocate for them in every way. And that includes seeking out a doctor who knows about these things (they're called functional or integrative doctors) and trying to heal your kid, rather than just putting on a bandaid so it's easier to get through the day.

Sounds like your kid has food intolerances and allergies, not adhd.

NP here. Not necessarily. You don’t have to be allergic to a food for it to exacerbate neurological inflammation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

Do you think the same thing for students who need wheel chairs or guide dogs?

NP ... No ... But drugging a kid up so he can go to the best school, vs non-medicated at a normal school? Seems like the academic equivalent of taking steroids to excel at a sport.

PP with the TJ kid. And we reached the point he needed to be medicated in middle school. So— at an ordinary school. ADHD meds don’t make him smarter. ThEy help with emotional regulation. Make him less anxious. Keep him from being overwhelmed. TJ is actually helpful, because he does badly with being bored. But he would absolutely be on medication— likely the same medication, same dose— at his base school. His psychiatrist is very against him taking “medication breaks,” because he has such a hard time when he does not take his medication.