Would You Date A Woman Who Used To Be Fat?

[Anonymous]

Over 20 years ago I married a woman who used to be fat. Over the years she has been thin,then fatter, then thin, then fat, and in between the two. You know what? It's been an awesome marriage the whole time. And if I had to do it all over again I would definitely marry the same woman who "used to be fat."

[Anonymous]

Nope. You'll get back up there again one day

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound awesome and beautiful, and I would date you in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Early 30s guy here. I would have no concerns at all.

Was in a wedding last year and one of the bridesmaids was purely stunning. I could tell from her arms that she had prior been overweight. I asked my wife about her and learned that the girl has lost over 100lbs. The Mrs showed me her Facebook with before and after pictures. Unbelievable...it made me appreciate her appearance all the more. Seriously, forget those tools that turned away. Keep up your game up. If you need some encouragement you can hit us up

What does this mean? Also, I think it’s “previously”, not “prior”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys in decent shape wouldn't risk it. There is a high probability that you will get fat again, especially after you have kids. You will probably have better luck if you date guys that are kind of chubby. But you never know, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe it will help if the guy sees that you consistently work out or eat healthy.

You can just look at the parents to see what the person will look like later. It's a good indicator.

False. All my cousins are skinny but their mom is very fat. The cousins are 40s and 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go you OP! I'm proud of you. The guys sound like losers.

Guy here. I agree with this poster. What a great success story!

+1. Your circumstances will in fact act as a great filter against losers. You sound beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 30s guy here. I would have no concerns at all.

Was in a wedding last year and one of the bridesmaids was purely stunning. I could tell from her arms that she had prior been overweight. I asked my wife about her and learned that the girl has lost over 100lbs. The Mrs showed me her Facebook with before and after pictures. Unbelievable...it made me appreciate her appearance all the more. Seriously, forget those tools that turned away. Keep up your game up. If you need some encouragement you can hit us up

What does this mean? Also, I think it’s “previously”, not “prior”.

Not the PP, but I have seen women who have lost large amounts of weight (good for them) but had noticeably loose, sagging skin on their arms and legs afterward. I think the amount of loose skin depends significantly on the individual. Sometimes the skin firms up a bit after a while, or it can be removed via surgery. Either way, it's still better to have lost the weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 30s guy here. I would have no concerns at all.

Was in a wedding last year and one of the bridesmaids was purely stunning. I could tell from her arms that she had prior been overweight. I asked my wife about her and learned that the girl has lost over 100lbs. The Mrs showed me her Facebook with before and after pictures. Unbelievable...it made me appreciate her appearance all the more. Seriously, forget those tools that turned away. Keep up your game up. If you need some encouragement you can hit us up

What does this mean? Also, I think it’s “previously”, not “prior”.

PP was probably referring to saggy skin.
And FYI, having arms that resemble loaves of bread is disgusting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most guys in decent shape wouldn't risk it. There is a high probability that you will get fat again, especially after you have kids. You will probably have better luck if you date guys that are kind of chubby. But you never know, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe it will help if the guy sees that you consistently work out or eat healthy.

You can just look at the parents to see what the person will look like later. It's a good indicator.

False. All my cousins are skinny but their mom is very fat. The cousins are 40s and 50

What about the father? Is he skinny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

+1

I get way more looks now at 140. I do think there's something to be said for filtering out the men with weight issues

You know, I think there may be something to this. Although obviously I haven't seen your body / how you carry it, OP, 110 IS very skinny. Not thin, skinny. There is definitely a subset of men for whom a) physical fitness and being in perfect shape - think religious time-consuming workout schedule, gym culture, appearance obsessed, protein shakes...not that any one of these things is bad, but you know the type - is their absolute #1 priority to the point of it being their defining feature / way of life, and b) having a super ("unattainably") skinny wife is a status symbol, and being with someone fat (or someone who, as they're seeing it, is 'okay with being fat') is seriously their worst nightmare. I am in no way defending it, trust me, but would expect those guys to rule you out. Not that you wanted them anyways! But I could see how, if you're super skinny currently, you'd be meeting and dating more than average numbers of this type of guy.

I think PP gave you good advice. Also, unfortunately, as you age and especially if you decide to get pregnant, you will have to be insanely vigilant. And sometimes in the midst of cravings and hormonal shifts and stress and sleep deprivation and adjusted priorities (not to mention depression etc)...that focus slips for a bit. So do yourself a favor and hold out for a great guy who loves you for you, and isn't skinny-obsessed. (I would also have to second that I get a lot more male attention at 130ish than at 115. You will even read it on here all the time - guys like some curves, not skinny hard flat bodies.)

110 lbs would be too skinny for a woman who is an average height. OP said she is 5'1.5", though, so unless she has a large build, it's unlikely that she looks too skinny at that weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

+1

I get way more looks now at 140. I do think there's something to be said for filtering out the men with weight issues

You know, I think there may be something to this. Although obviously I haven't seen your body / how you carry it, OP, 110 IS very skinny. Not thin, skinny. There is definitely a subset of men for whom a) physical fitness and being in perfect shape - think religious time-consuming workout schedule, gym culture, appearance obsessed, protein shakes...not that any one of these things is bad, but you know the type - is their absolute #1 priority to the point of it being their defining feature / way of life, and b) having a super ("unattainably") skinny wife is a status symbol, and being with someone fat (or someone who, as they're seeing it, is 'okay with being fat') is seriously their worst nightmare. I am in no way defending it, trust me, but would expect those guys to rule you out. Not that you wanted them anyways! But I could see how, if you're super skinny currently, you'd be meeting and dating more than average numbers of this type of guy.

I think PP gave you good advice. Also, unfortunately, as you age and especially if you decide to get pregnant, you will have to be insanely vigilant. And sometimes in the midst of cravings and hormonal shifts and stress and sleep deprivation and adjusted priorities (not to mention depression etc)...that focus slips for a bit. So do yourself a favor and hold out for a great guy who loves you for you, and isn't skinny-obsessed. (I would also have to second that I get a lot more male attention at 130ish than at 115. You will even read it on here all the time - guys like some curves, not skinny hard flat bodies.)

110 lbs would be too skinny for most women who are average height. OP said she is 5'1.5", though, so unless she has a large build, it's unlikely that she looks too skinny at that weight.

^fixed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

Hey, PP, How tall are you? 135lbs is kind of chubby. I used to be your weight until I lost 25lbs and now I get hit on more than ever. I'm glad I lost that chub. True story.

Not pp but I'm 5'9" and have been 135lbs and I guarantee you there was no chubbiness. Lol