Would You Date A Woman Who Used To Be Fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a NP who also lost a lot of weight - I am now 70 lbs lower than my highest non-pregnant weight and have maintained this weight for years. I'm in the 120s.

Hate to break it to all the jerks out there, but women like OP and me are the best kinds of women to date if you are worried about someone getting fat. I can guarantee that I will never, ever, ever be fat again. I am so vigilant about my weight. I eat sweets and junk and carbs just like everyone else, but I stay on top of things so that one bad day is offset by 6 great ones. I know exactly how it feels to be 190 lbs and I never, ever want to be there again.. so much so that I will never get to 130 again, because I know exactly what a slippery slope it is.

It's the women who have never had to try that have problems after childbearing, IMO.

Listen, I don't want to turn this negative but at the same time, you kind of did. It's pretty unfair (and just wrong.) to claim that women who have always been vigilant and never let themselves get overweight are lacking something in comparison. I have pcos too and guarantee I am just as careful as you are / likely have to work just as hard.

She is sharing why she won't become overweight again. She has the right to her opinions.

[Anonymous]

nope.

[Anonymous]

The statistics for long-term maintenance of massive weight loss are very discouraging. Most people know that and have seen people go up and down with weight.

Any person who dates you has to know this. Some are simply not going to be OK with that. That's why when they find out they ghost or are jerks. They're afraid. It's a shame, but it's not surprising.

With self-esteem and continuing to go back out there, you can find someone who accepts you and your past.

In fact, the greatest thing would be to find someone who accepts you as you are now, and would stay with and appreciate you if you did regain weight.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs that you are winnowing out the jerks. I've had stretch marks since puberty - my boobs and my butt grew rapidly. I was always athletic but curvy. I dated one guy who said something about my weight and I dumped him. I want a guy who sees me, not some number on a scale. My DH is great - he's got his own stretch marks even though he's never been overweight. It has no impact on how I feel about him. There are guys out there who will value you for you, not your stretch marks or past weight. BTW - I had 4 pregnancies in 3 years with 3 live births. It took me 10 years to shed the baby weight from the last pregnancy (2 kids were diagnosed with SN at the same time and I spiraled into a depression. it was really tough for a while). DH stuck with me and was a fabulous partner. I'm now the same weight as when we married. DH says he wishes I'd gain another 10 lbs.

[Anonymous]

Op I'm sure the right guy is out there. You'll meet someone you click with and where it's easy. Just keep looking as it's a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

There are people that gain and lose and gain and lose and gain and lose 20, 30, 50lbs. On low carb, paleo, blahblahblah. Rinse, repeat.

Then there are people who were fat, and had some kind of big change (usually with a mental/emotional 'breakthrough') and lose a lot of weight. Those are the people that keep it off.

I was fat all my life, and went through something that made me experience a lot of emotional pain, but also growth - put that pain to good use. No diets, started exercising, and you can damn well be sure that my 60lbs won't return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Exactly!

F them OP! Plenty of guys won't care one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

[Anonymous]

fishing for compliments - gotta love these type of threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a late 20's woman that has lost 75lbs in the last year, and have kept it off for the past 6 months. I was always a skinny child and teen but developed PCOS when puberty set in, and started gaining weight in my early 20's. I struggled with the issue for years and finally got it under control after a drastic change in diet and going on medication. The extra weight left me with stretchmarks on my breast, stomach, thighs, and hips. I have noticed since losing the weight, two guys I have dated looked at me differently once they found out. One never called me back after a month, and the other was very rude about it. I don't want it to define me, but I am worried that it may hinder my chances of finding a good guy.

I'd be OK with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

Op here. I am 5'1.5". 110lbs is a normal weight for my height. It's not too skinny for me.

[Anonymous]

Most guys in decent shape wouldn't risk it. There is a high probability that you will get fat again, especially after you have kids. You will probably have better luck if you date guys that are kind of chubby. But you never know, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe it will help if the guy sees that you consistently work out or eat healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

Hey, PP, How tall are you? 135lbs is kind of chubby. I used to be your weight until I lost 25lbs and now I get hit on more than ever. I'm glad I lost that chub. True story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are people that gain and lose and gain and lose and gain and lose 20, 30, 50lbs. On low carb, paleo, blahblahblah. Rinse, repeat.

Then there are people who were fat, and had some kind of big change (usually with a mental/emotional 'breakthrough') and lose a lot of weight. Those are the people that keep it off.

I was fat all my life, and went through something that made me experience a lot of emotional pain, but also growth - put that pain to good use. No diets, started exercising, and you can damn well be sure that my 60lbs won't return.

Op her. I agree. I have learned about myself and healthy eating during my journey. I workout 4-5x a week and love it. I love running. I revamped my entire eating habits and only eat a whole foods diet of chicken, fruits, veggies, greens, and healthy fats. I will sometimes add in dairy or a healthy starches or grains like sweet potatoes, quinoa, and brown rice. I cut out almost all junk good and quit drinking pop. I am committed to a healthier lifestyle for me, not just a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you had an health issue that caused you to gain weight and it took you years to get it under control and find the right meds, but now it is and you are back to a normal weight and guys don't want to date you when they find out? Is that who you want for a life mate, someone who would cut and run when they found out about your health issue?

Op here. Yes. I am back to my normal without of 110lbs. I have always worked out and took care of my health, but PCOS was something I couldn't control. Not to make excuses, but it's not like I just sat around eating junk food. PCOS is similar to a thyroid problem, and can cause people to gain and uncontrollable amount of weight. It's not easy to deal with.

How tall are you? 110 lbs is REALLY skinny. You might think about gaining a couple of pounds, just because that will filter out the "obsessed with skinny women" crowd who might be (will be) way more judgmental.

I used to be your weight, gained about 25 pounds, now I am 135 and get hit on more than ever and by quality guys that aren't fixated on skinniness. I think it was one of the best choices I made.

Hey, PP, How tall are you? 135lbs is kind of chubby. I used to be your weight until I lost 25lbs and now I get hit on more than ever. I'm glad I lost that chub. True story.

NP. Hey PP, how tall are you? 110lbs is skinny and gross. I used to be your weight until I gained 25lbs and now I get hit on more than ever. I'm glad I lost the boniness. True story.