Tales from the beach house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No coffee because someone is pregnant? Sorry, but that would never fly. She can blow a fan on her face or something. I need coffee to poop and to wake up. I've been pregnant and nauseous. But I'm not going to be constipated and groggy all day because of your pregnancy!

Comedy gold, PP! I love you!

I'm in the guest room on a family beach trip, woke up with a headache. Coffee to the rescue!

[Anonymous]

OP, I LOVE that your aunt Facetimes her cats twice a day. It's just so strange!

On our family vacations, we have to listen to my FIL sweet talk his little dog (he brings the dog everywhere). His normally low and gruff voice changes to this eerie falsetto as he says "Who's my baby? I love you Freddy. You're my baby." Once I heard him say in his high voice "Freddy, you have good character and a wonderful spirit." And it's sincere. Not jokey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I LOVE that your aunt Facetimes her cats twice a day. It's just so strange!

On our family vacations, we have to listen to my FIL sweet talk his little dog (he brings the dog everywhere). His normally low and gruff voice changes to this eerie falsetto as he says "Who's my baby? I love you Freddy. You're my baby." Once I heard him say in his high voice "Freddy, you have good character and a wonderful spirit." And it's sincere. Not jokey.

I have kids and 3 dogs. When I leave the dogs at home with a sitter while we go on vacation I really miss them. I love it when the sitter sends us updates and, yes, I would even face time with them....so far, that hasn't happened but I can't say it never would happen, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL sent an advance email outlining all the rules for the long weekend getaway at their river house with extended family. It included a dress code for lunches and dinners that stated explicitly that no shorts were permitted. All males were to wear long pants and collared shirts to meals.

At a river house? I didn't know there were such things as river houses. But being from Missouri, I'm picturing something like what Huck Finn lived in before he ran away. At least, I'm thinking canoes and kayaks and fishing and kids catching tadpoles and crawdads. Seriously, where is this house located, and how posh is it that you must dress for lunch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL sent an advance email outlining all the rules for the long weekend getaway at their river house with extended family. It included a dress code for lunches and dinners that stated explicitly that no shorts were permitted. All males were to wear long pants and collared shirts to meals.

At a river house? I didn't know there were such things as river houses. But being from Missouri, I'm picturing something like what Huck Finn lived in before he ran away. At least, I'm thinking canoes and kayaks and fishing and kids catching tadpoles and crawdads. Seriously, where is this house located, and how posh is it that you must dress for lunch?

Not PP but there are plenty of places in the Tidewater and the Eastern Shore that fill the bill.

My college age DS likes to hang around in his boxers. We have a rule that he must be dressed at the table. Of course I am happy with a tshirt and athletic shorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Beach vacation with my husband, kids and ILs (FIL/MIL, older aunt/cousin, SIL and her wife and kid). All is going well, and we are having fun. But I thought I'd send some dispatches:

1) SIL's wife is pregnant and is making much of it. She sleeps all day/stays in her room, doesn't watch her 1.5 year old AT ALL, and has her wife running all over at her beck and call: bringing her food, doing her laundry, making special requests like "no coffee this morning, please, my wife is feeling nauseous." We are all rolling with it, but come ON. You are pregnant, it's really not that big a deal.


2) FIL's kitchen habits are kind of funny but kind of gross: microwaving coffee in the late afternoon that had been sitting cold still on the burner all day; standing in the kitchen eating rather than ever sitting down.

3) MIL pretending never to eat indulgent food or drink alcohol, but indulging at every opportunity. It's OK! You can eat and drink, we won't judge!

4) The aunt is a crazy cat lady: any time any of the kids do or say something cute, she launches into a story about her 7 cats. She FaceTimes with her cats via the pet-sitter twice daily.

1) wait, they're saying she doesn't want coffee, or that no one in the house should brew coffee?

2) that's really not that bad at all. at least he's not wasting or hogging the best sofa in the house like other people i've gone on vacation with.

OP here. Yeah, they're saying no one should brew coffee because SIL's wife (who is sleeping in on the lower third level and the kitchen is on the top floor) might smell it.

Wait, I can't have my morning coffee because some woman forgot to take her birth control?!?! A treat for me!

That's a non-starter - I don't think I'd even dignify it with a response, and go about brewing my morning fix.

You're being glib but she didn't "forget to take her birth control" since she's a lesbian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I LOVE that your aunt Facetimes her cats twice a day. It's just so strange!

On our family vacations, we have to listen to my FIL sweet talk his little dog (he brings the dog everywhere). His normally low and gruff voice changes to this eerie falsetto as he says "Who's my baby? I love you Freddy. You're my baby." Once I heard him say in his high voice "Freddy, you have good character and a wonderful spirit." And it's sincere. Not jokey.

No better compliment than that. I'd let him rub my belly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok so our beach vacation hasn't even started yet.

1. Ive been getting daily multiple texts from MIL for the past week about remember to bring this, that, the other. Sheets and towels. Dish soap. Remember, they don't have beach chairs, what will I do about getting chairs? And since they don't think our car is big enough, now she's strongly suggesting we rent a minivan. I looked into it and it would be $1k for the week plus an airport pickup and dropoff, so no. She can't get over that she thinks I'm cheap for not doing it.

2. We rented a big house because DH's family LOOOOVES the beach and has so many great memories of it. I get that. But our kids are 1 and 4. I'm not a beach person and in my mind the logistics outweigh the possible fun at this age. Sandy diaper changes, sunscreen vigilance, nap needs, waves, walking over the hot sand carrying the baby and all our belongings. Maybe I'm a grouch but I'm just not interested. Oh and none of them could commit to any days they'd be at the house until just this week, when they're all coming for the whole time.

Three words: collapsible beach cart. like this one: https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/beachcomber-all-terrain-wagon/1041696781?skuId=41696781&mcid=PS_googlepla_nonbrand_beautywellness_online&product_id=41696781&adtype=pla&product_channel=online&adpos=1o3&creative=43742630269&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIg4yu5p3h1QIVC6ZpCh2FPwixEAQYAyABEgJ0H_D_BwE

The rest will be gravy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Grandparents (DH's parents) told us our kids wandering around in their undies or just shorts inside their house made them uncomfortable. Now we are scrambling to keep them dressed without making them feel weird about their bodies but I can't explain why they want them in clothes because even when they explained it I didn't understand. I just agreed to keep the peace. We've just started saying "grandma wants it this way".

They are 8, 7 and 4 and my grandmother actually said 'she isn't wearing a shirt and she is a young woman!' about the 7 yr old. I corrected her and said 'no, she is a little girl' but I don't want you uncomfortable so that's fine. They are all very skinny- as are his parents- no boobs in sight.

To be clear, it's just us and the grandparents. No visitors/other family. No huge windows where people can see in. My DH is perplexed and we are trying to think where/why this came from. They've never said a thing in our house in DC when they were shirtless. I'm starting to wonder if someone touched grandma as a child

Uh, yeah, they should be clothed at that age, PP.

OP here, and I agree with the PP who agrees that the kids at that age should be clothed. YOU are actually the weird one, no-clothes mom. People are writing about their ILs meaning YOU in this scenario. Why would they not be wearing clothes-clothes, bathing suits and cover ups, or pajamas at least?

I'm not no-clothes mum. Children do need clothes. They are clothed. In underwear, swim trunks or shorts on the bottom. For some reason that isn't enough. (I'm not talking about eating meals at the table without a shirt- we don't do that). Please explain because we are lost (and obviously DH grew up in their home and is annoyed but going along with it).

Underwear is not clothes. It is to "wear under" and not "wear" on its own.

Why no shirts?

This comment proves that you are being intentionally dense. You admit that they need shirts for eating, why? Because people usually wear shirts when they eat? Because it is polite and respectful to others to have on clothes? Because you are not at that exact moment enjoying an outdoor activity that is typically done shirtless? Any of the above explain why children of all ages should wear clothes in the home even when they are not eating. Especially if other family members you are vacationing with have asked.

Exceptions are made for babies who can easily start the day clothes and then 3 hours later have already gone through 6 outfits and you are just giving the f*ck up. But babies are also allowed to sh*t in their pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents (DH's parents) told us our kids wandering around in their undies or just shorts inside their house made them uncomfortable. Now we are scrambling to keep them dressed without making them feel weird about their bodies but I can't explain why they want them in clothes because even when they explained it I didn't understand. I just agreed to keep the peace. We've just started saying "grandma wants it this way".

They are 8, 7 and 4 and my grandmother actually said 'she isn't wearing a shirt and she is a young woman!' about the 7 yr old. I corrected her and said 'no, she is a little girl' but I don't want you uncomfortable so that's fine. They are all very skinny- as are his parents- no boobs in sight.

To be clear, it's just us and the grandparents. No visitors/other family. No huge windows where people can see in. My DH is perplexed and we are trying to think where/why this came from. They've never said a thing in our house in DC when they were shirtless. I'm starting to wonder if someone touched grandma as a child

Uh, yeah, they should be clothed at that age, PP.

OP here, and I agree with the PP who agrees that the kids at that age should be clothed. YOU are actually the weird one, no-clothes mom. People are writing about their ILs meaning YOU in this scenario. Why would they not be wearing clothes-clothes, bathing suits and cover ups, or pajamas at least?

I'm not no-clothes mum. Children do need clothes. They are clothed. In underwear, swim trunks or shorts on the bottom. For some reason that isn't enough. (I'm not talking about eating meals at the table without a shirt- we don't do that). Please explain because we are lost (and obviously DH grew up in their home and is annoyed but going along with it).

Underwear is not clothes. It is to "wear under" and not "wear" on its own.

Why no shirts?

This comment proves that you are being intentionally dense. You admit that they need shirts for eating, why? Because people usually wear shirts when they eat? Because it is polite and respectful to others to have on clothes? Because you are not at that exact moment enjoying an outdoor activity that is typically done shirtless? Any of the above explain why children of all ages should wear clothes in the home even when they are not eating. Especially if other family members you are vacationing with have asked.

Exceptions are made for babies who can easily start the day clothes and then 3 hours later have already gone through 6 outfits and you are just giving the f*ck up. But babies are also allowed to sh*t in their pants.

Actually my point was the same as yours. Underwear is not clothing to be worn in the presence of others. AND shirts should generally be worn when with others.

IMO.

[Anonymous]

I do not give up my morning cup of coffee for anyone. Tough. Pregnant woman can stick her head out the window.

[Anonymous]

Maybe FIL is reheating his coffee as a courtesy to pregnant lady (as I'd imagine fresh brewed coffee would make her feel more nauseous than warming coffee in microwave). But even if this isn't the reason, I don't see what the big deal is. If I couldn't reheat my coffee in the microwave I'd hardly ever have a chance to drink hot coffee as I hang 2 young kids and often get interrupted from drinking my coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe FIL is reheating his coffee as a courtesy to pregnant lady (as I'd imagine fresh brewed coffee would make her feel more nauseous than warming coffee in microwave). But even if this isn't the reason, I don't see what the big deal is. If I couldn't reheat my coffee in the microwave I'd hardly ever have a chance to drink hot coffee as I *have* 2 young kids and often get interrupted from drinking my coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandparents (DH's parents) told us our kids wandering around in their undies or just shorts inside their house made them uncomfortable. Now we are scrambling to keep them dressed without making them feel weird about their bodies but I can't explain why they want them in clothes because even when they explained it I didn't understand. I just agreed to keep the peace. We've just started saying "grandma wants it this way".

They are 8, 7 and 4 and my grandmother actually said 'she isn't wearing a shirt and she is a young woman!' about the 7 yr old. I corrected her and said 'no, she is a little girl' but I don't want you uncomfortable so that's fine. They are all very skinny- as are his parents- no boobs in sight.

To be clear, it's just us and the grandparents. No visitors/other family. No huge windows where people can see in. My DH is perplexed and we are trying to think where/why this came from. They've never said a thing in our house in DC when they were shirtless. I'm starting to wonder if someone touched grandma as a child

Uh, yeah, they should be clothed at that age, PP.

OP here, and I agree with the PP who agrees that the kids at that age should be clothed. YOU are actually the weird one, no-clothes mom. People are writing about their ILs meaning YOU in this scenario. Why would they not be wearing clothes-clothes, bathing suits and cover ups, or pajamas at least?

I'm not no-clothes mum. Children do need clothes. They are clothed. In underwear, swim trunks or shorts on the bottom. For some reason that isn't enough. (I'm not talking about eating meals at the table without a shirt- we don't do that). Please explain because we are lost (and obviously DH grew up in their home and is annoyed but going along with it).

Actually, no they don't need to be clothed. This is why Americans are so hung up on sex - in Europe not a big deal. Good lord. They only need clothes when it is cold

This is what I am thinking. I was raised in Canada and the UK where nudity is not a big thing. I think I've rubbed off on DH because he doesn't care. Again, the kids aren't nude. but apparently pants/shorts aren't enough. It's not worth it to say anything, but I can't unknow this so when we get back home from the beach it will be on my mind any time the parents are over and my kids are bouncing around doing their underpants dance. /ooops

I would think based on the weather in both places it wouldn't be all that common.

[Anonymous]

I think undies around the house with family is fine. Clothes for outside and in public, of course.