He loves me, has great benefits, good income, sex is terrible

[Anonymous]

I'm 46 with kids also-I say MARRY HIM. He sounds like a keeper! You guys could have a good life together.

Look, sex is sex. It's only a part of life. He sounds like he has a lot to offer in many other ways. You say you dont want to be alone. I would not pass him up over the sex.

Out of a 24 hour day, how long is sex really???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'm 46 with kids also-I say MARRY HIM. He sounds like a keeper! You guys could have a good life together.

Look, sex is sex. It's only a part of life. He sounds like he has a lot to offer in many other ways. You say you dont want to be alone. I would not pass him up over the sex.

Out of a 24 hour day, how long is sex really???

Sometimes, it is the best 30 min of an otherwise crappy or dull day.

But with a bad lover, like my XH, it can seem to go on forever and ever and ever, even if he actually has PE.

[Anonymous]

If you haven't brought up the issue and tried to work on it with him, you don't know if it can improve. I would not marry him until I tried and found out.

[Anonymous]

Op where r u? Why wouldn't you have a conversation with HIM about this? It's not like he'll dump you! He will either talk/improve or not. Then u can decide.

[Anonymous]

Serious question, OP. Have you been in a long term relationship? Women lose most, not all but most desire after a couple years. And you are 46, so what, another Couple years that you will really want sex?

Can you weather the storm for a couple years till you are done with sex? Or do what men do and just keep extra marital on the down low until while your libido is higher than his? Men solve this problem discretely without making an issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question, OP. Have you been in a long term relationship? Women lose most, not all but most desire after a couple years. And you are 46, so what, another Couple years that you will really want sex?

Can you weather the storm for a couple years till you are done with sex? Or do what men do and just keep extra marital on the down low until while your libido is higher than his? Men solve this problem discretely without making an issue

Why do people keep spewing this old wives' tale? There's no guarantee that her interest will wane. Many DW don't lose desire for sex, just sex with their DH who have become physically or emotionally repugnant.

[Anonymous]

From the original post:

"He is 45 as well, never married, never had kids. Very career focused."

Have you considered the possibility that he is just sexually inexperienced? I wouldn't be surprised if he is a late bloomer in many ways.

[Anonymous]

OP - What does marriage mean to you? If it's companionship, financial security and not physical intimacy and sex, then he may be a keeper.

[Anonymous]

Op: just marry him for the money and cheat on him to get good sex.

You know, the same thing you did with your baby daddy.

[Anonymous]

Op you sound incredibly selfish. Most likely the sexual issues are a result of your selfishness in bed as well as out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:46 and you are worried about sex? Your sex life is quickly running out. It will be nonexistent soon. The truth is women's libido stop somewhere around 45-50.

So untrue. I am hornier than ever and I am a 52 year old woman.

How long have you been married, if at all?
(So often, horny older women seem to be single or recently remarried.)

Sorry, I recently turned 60 and have been married over 30 years and still enjoy sex. I definitely would not consider myself to be a horny-type but at least once a week It's something I really look forward to as does my DH. My GF's and I don't swap stories but I guess that half of my friends still have active sex lives just based on how they interact with their husbands. On the other hand its pretty clear that many don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to talk to him about this and have an open and honest conversation before you make any decisions. Find out what is at the root of his problem. My husband is 50, I am 45, and our sex life is as hot as it was years ago. We both have a high sex drive and need it often, so age is not always a factor. He may have a medical issue that he is hesitant to tell you about, or he may just be shy about initiating. You'll never know until you ask.

Op can't have an open honest discussion with him because that would require her to admit she's a gold dig
ger.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think he would or should provide security for you and "my kids"? It is not his job to provide security for your near adult children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think he would or should provide security for you and "my kids"? It is not his job to provide security for your near adult children.

Since he doesn’t have kids of his own, I wonder if he may see OP’s kids as possibly providing security for HIM in his old age, not financially but in terms of being there to help their step dad with medical visits and life in general. Do any unmarried people without kids think it would be nice to marry someone with grown or nearly grown kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think he would or should provide security for you and "my kids"? It is not his job to provide security for your near adult children.

Since he doesn’t have kids of his own, I wonder if he may see OP’s kids as possibly providing security for HIM in his old age, not financially but in terms of being there to help their step dad with medical visits and life in general. Do any unmarried people without kids think it would be nice to marry someone with grown or nearly grown kids?

I think most single people without children would prefer that their partner's kids be grown to having small children to look after. Of course, most single people without kids would probably not prefer to deal with kids at all.