Cut off relatives want to "come back"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you still have a copy of the nasty gram, copy that into your reply to your SIL, asking why she would want to reconnect with someone who sent her such a letter, and to kindly f*ck off.

Keeping it classy.

Because that would make the OP much better, right?

WRONG.

Once again, pot meet kettle.

If she responds with F off, then she's no better than their nastygram. In fact, she's worse because it shows that she's still the same petulant child that's been hanging onto this for six long years, however the SIL on the other hand actually took that time to mature, grow & decide that family is more important than one silly day & did the right thing by her in-laws by attempting to create peace in the family.

The OP not so much.

All I'm hearing is me, me, me & the OP not taking any responsibility for this ridiculousness that she's created.
It goes to show that the OP still has a great deal more to mature.

[Anonymous]

^^^ Totally agree. ^^^

Op, if the most you can say is that your parents know how your brother is, or know how your relationship is, then you really are a spoiled brat.

Good lord, who cares if they know??
They obviously don't love him any less.

Regardless what they "know", how can you not think that your elderly parents don't want peace between their children? Do you think they like that you're estranged from him? Oh yes, I'm sure their extremely proud that their only children haven't spoken for years.
Your mom probably brags it up at her bridge club every chance she gets that her kids haven't spoken in 6 years, especially when the other moms are raving on about their own children. It's a proud moment I'm sure.

Do this for your parents op, or you truly are a self serving, petulant princess & one day you'll regret that you dug your heels in so hard & your selfishness resulted in not allowing your parents to have both of their kids together for their last years.

#selfcentered
#selfish
#zero-self-awareness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We had several friends at our wedding who already had kids and guess what, they found a way to NOT bring their kids to the wedding. Destination wedding is "low class"? Really? Then so is a wedding in your grandma's backyard.

My parents are well aware that my brother and I don't get a long. We are very, very different and have different family values. Like...when our father is in the hospital with a heart attack, maybe, just maybe you should come and visit him? Or if your parents loan your the money for car repairs, maybe, just maybe you should repay your two elderly parents? Or at least say "thanks, guys?"

I don't see their kids as "siblings" for my child. They are spoiled and ill-mannered. They are rude and obnoxious. Why would I want my kid around someone like that?

Those several friends spent hundreds extra on care costs. Now that you have a child, you will soon learn how pricey it is for parents to go do stuff without kids, whether date night or attend a destination wedding.

Frankly, destination weddings are so selfish. You know the guests foot part of your wedding costs because so many stay at your eesort, right?

Your brother may have his faults but you are not perfect either. You cut him off for the wedding thing. Now that many Anonymous people are giving you a different perspective and being sympathetic to your brother, don't you think it's time to let go and forgive your brother's family?

I don't know why everyone is dumping on OP. First, she is completely within her rights to have the wedding she wants. No one HAS to go to weddings. Her brother could have brought the kids and found a sitter for the time of the reception, I doubt the resort staff has never heard of nannies. A few hours with a sitter is not a big deal. If it IS a big deal, they could have just declined politely. Sending an angry email is out of line.

Now, I'm all for mending fences, but usually when I try to mend fences with someone I've gone off at a few years ago, I would at least preface it by some sort of acknowledgment. Like, "I know we haven't been on the best of terms lately but..." or "I know we've said some angry things in the past, and I apologize for that, but I would really like to be..." etc. But not pretend that it didn't happen.

You're assuming that the SIL has any idea that her brother even wrote the nastygram in the first place.

He could have signed the nastygram from both of them & not told her about it, or maybe he minimized the alleged vitriol that he wrote when telling SIL about it, or maybe he just told SIL that he simply declined the invitation & HE decided not to have a relationship with his selfish sister for banning their kids from the wedding.

Seems OP has ask of this pent up anger from more than just the wedding & unfortunately the SIL and kids are just collateral damage.

The OP will never see past her blinding rage though, so what's the use in any of this?

It's perfectly normal to be angry when someone writes you a nasty email. Why not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Totally agree. ^^^

Op, if the most you can say is that your parents know how your brother is, or know how your relationship is, then you really are a spoiled brat.

Good lord, who cares if they know??
They obviously don't love him any less.

Regardless what they "know", how can you not think that your elderly parents don't want peace between their children? Do you think they like that you're estranged from him? Oh yes, I'm sure their extremely proud that their only children haven't spoken for years.
Your mom probably brags it up at her bridge club every chance she gets that her kids haven't spoken in 6 years, especially when the other moms are raving on about their own children. It's a proud moment I'm sure.

Do this for your parents op, or you truly are a self serving, petulant princess & one day you'll regret that you dug your heels in so hard & your selfishness resulted in not allowing your parents to have both of their kids together for their last years.

#selfcentered
#selfish
#zero-self-awareness

I dunno why you have to bring the parents into it. Her brother wants to mend fences? He could say, hey sis, sorry I overreacted and wrote you that nasty piece of work. Let's reconcile for the sake of the parents. Reconciliation is always possible if people can face the past.