Little Mean Girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with her not wanting to play with your son. Maybe he was just a bit too loud or rough for her. And your son should respect that.

However, her parents should have taught her to say, "sorry, I just want to play by myself today". There's no excuse to say "go away" unless he was pestering her.

Don't you see the problem here? This is still a people-pleasing non-offensive way of responding. Maybe she never wants to play with this particular boy. She's entitled to dislike someone and want them to leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

I'm really surprised OP has gotten this far without encountering this.

My 2.5 year old dd routinely runs across kids who say "go away" or "no babies allowed" when she approaches.

I don't really think anything of the kids who say it or their parents. It's a kid thing; they don't have filters or social sophistication.

[Anonymous]

I would have thought that OP might have a point, if she didn't out herself as a rude bully. In her own words, apple doesn't fall far from a tree, hence little girl must've stood up to her bully child. Bullies are the first ones to call somebody else a bully.

[Anonymous]

Wow. This is unbelievable to me. OP - you need to get a grip. Many adults are not even very good at communication and you are expecting a 4 year old to do it perfectly? Kids are learning and they make a lot of mistakes as they learn. You don't know what happens in that girl's home or with her parents, maybe she is working on manners, maybe her mom is letting her figure some things out without jumping in every single time she says something to another kid. You just don't know. And your son needs to learn how to be tougher about the comments made by other kids. There will be many others that will be even more rude than this. You can't let every comment made bother you - that is a sure way to have issues later in life.

But what is truly astounding is that you would call a child - one who is 4 years old - a name. That speaks volumes about your level of maturity. I suggest you do some reading about child development so you know what is appropriate and what is not at various ages and then manage your expectations (both for your own kid and for others kids) accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. This is unbelievable to me. OP - you need to get a grip. Many adults are not even very good at communication and you are expecting a 4 year old to do it perfectly? Kids are learning and they make a lot of mistakes as they learn. You don't know what happens in that girl's home or with her parents, maybe she is working on manners, maybe her mom is letting her figure some things out without jumping in every single time she says something to another kid. You just don't know. And your son needs to learn how to be tougher about the comments made by other kids. There will be many others that will be even more rude than this. You can't let every comment made bother you - that is a sure way to have issues later in life.

But what is truly astounding is that you would call a child - one who is 4 years old - a name. That speaks volumes about your level of maturity. I suggest you do some reading about child development so you know what is appropriate and what is not at various ages and then manage your expectations (both for your own kid and for others kids) accordingly.

+1


OP you are the bully here. shame on you coming here to gripe about a child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the girl was being exclusionary which is a shitty thing to do. She didn't want to "play by herself" - she wanted to exclude OP's son from the group. That actually IS mean girl behavior.

Try to keep up: 4 year olds cannot be mean girls.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Good for you, OP! I'm doing the same. I also talk back to mean kids at the park and teach my son how to deal with them. One took my two-year-old's truck, once, another walked up to him and started yelling "NO!" "NO!" into his face without any provocation or reason; the majority of course are nice and play well together. To the jerk kids of all ages out there: you have no excuse and the rest of us do not have any obligation to put up with it. We will also model for our kids how to stand up to bullies.

[Anonymous]

Look, none of us were there to see what happened, and none of us know what's going on in that girl's life. So perhaps OP missed something that her son did to the girl, or perhaps he did absolutely nothing but the girl's dad died a week ago so the girl was acting out and the mom was doing everything she could to hold it together - we have no idea. OP, I'd take a little from both sides here. On the one hand, it riles me up when other kids treat my girls poorly, so I totally get why you were upset that your son was sad/embarrassed/whatever. No one wants to see their kids suffer in any way. On the other hand, we also (should) know that this is going to happen because people can be mean, even if it's unintentional or "excusable" (I'm not making excuses for poor behavior, just acknowledging that sometimes we're not at our best and may say things that hurt others). I'd make sure you can separate your own feelings about this girl from what you say to your son about the incident. I don't know why the people jumping down your throat wouldn't consider how they'd feel if their child was hurt by another kid - surely then they'd be riled up, too. And it's not like you freaked out and called the police to arrest the girl. Then you got attacked and got (maybe a little too) defensive. But I probably would, too, if I was called a bully for posting what you did. I'd suggest walking away from the negativity.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Good for you, OP! I'm doing the same. I also talk back to mean kids at the park and teach my son how to deal with them. One took my two-year-old's truck, once, another walked up to him and started yelling "NO!" "NO!" into his face without any provocation or reason; the majority of course are nice and play well together. To the jerk kids of all ages out there: you have no excuse and the rest of us do not have any obligation to put up with it. We will also model for our kids how to stand up to bullies.

Hi, if you "talked back" to my kid or scolded my child in any way, you would require stitches when I was done with you. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

You are upset that a 4 year old spoke rudely to your son but have no problem as an adult calling a 4 year old an awful name. This is ironic to say the least. I think you may have gotten a different reaction if you hadn't led by calling a 4 year old a mean little s&$t. There still would be some who say you are overreacting but you may have gotten more even responses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are upset that a 4 year old spoke rudely to your son but have no problem as an adult calling a 4 year old an awful name. This is ironic to say the least. I think you may have gotten a different reaction if you hadn't led by calling a 4 year old a mean little s&$t. There still would be some who say you are overreacting but you may have gotten more even responses

OP is not very self-aware, that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

The arrogance and hypocrisy of this thread is astonishing.

To all the folk calling OP a bully, she is in good company. Very few threads on DCUM are not without a degree of shaming, name-calling, trivializing, guilt-tripping etc. regardless of the subject of the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Good for you, OP! I'm doing the same. I also talk back to mean kids at the park and teach my son how to deal with them. One took my two-year-old's truck, once, another walked up to him and started yelling "NO!" "NO!" into his face without any provocation or reason; the majority of course are nice and play well together. To the jerk kids of all ages out there: you have no excuse and the rest of us do not have any obligation to put up with it. We will also model for our kids how to stand up to bullies.

I just cannot wait for your angel to be 4. It will be hilarious for all involved.

Also, parents like you often do this to my autistic son. I cheerily smile at them and say, well, he has autism! What's your excuse for not yet knowing how to behave! They do have therapy for this, we do it on a regular basis!

So check yourself. You have no idea what is going on with othe people. I'm so sure, a kid says no to your kid and you tell him off? Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Good for you, OP! I'm doing the same. I also talk back to mean kids at the park and teach my son how to deal with them. One took my two-year-old's truck, once, another walked up to him and started yelling "NO!" "NO!" into his face without any provocation or reason; the majority of course are nice and play well together. To the jerk kids of all ages out there: you have no excuse and the rest of us do not have any obligation to put up with it. We will also model for our kids how to stand up to bullies.

I just cannot wait for your angel to be 4. It will be hilarious for all involved.

Also, parents like you often do this to my autistic son. I cheerily smile at them and say, well, he has autism! What's your excuse for not yet knowing how to behave! They do have therapy for this, we do it on a regular basis!

So check yourself. You have no idea what is going on with othe people. I'm so sure, a kid says no to your kid and you tell him off? Good lord.

Also - what exactly are you modeling? How to be an adult that tells off strangers? I don't know what you're going for here. It's insane. I have a little girl also who has been going to the park and what not for a few years and is very small. I have literally never had to tell anyone off or seen any "bullying" that I needed to bully and attack another child for. Because if a kid said no to my child - yeah, I'm going to let that go. You're teaching your child to be some kind of insane conflict seeker. Not a bullying avoider. You and op should hang out. You're so going to be the moms whose good children are footing the bad behavior of the other naughty children! It's so terrible! Those other kids must be stopped! Never mind that your kid is literally a demon created by his crazy overbearing mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

I don't mean to be too judgmental of your failure to defend your son, but I can't believe you didn't cut that little bi@&$. Clearly she was threatening your son's life and trying to oust him from a dominant position in the little library gang. You are so right to thirst for this young Jezebel's blood - don't listen to all of these h8ers and so-called "people" who are saying you could be overreacting: these people probably don't experience the harsh and endemic violence of prekindergarten dominance competitions.