Little Mean Girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Now OP is the Queen of Parenting!

What a riot.

Whatever you want to call it. Hope you're doing a better job than the other mom and teaching your kids the same things.

[Anonymous]

OP, people on this board can be nasty - the anonymity really brings out the worst in some people. Yes, some kids are just little shits. And most of them learn the behavior from their parents (or their parents fail to correct the behavior). You struck a nerve with parents who would likely behave just as the girl's mother did - by doing nothing. Take the nastiness with a grain of salt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see anything wrong with what she said. I hate the idea that girls are pressured to be people pleasers at such an early age, OP teach your kid no means no.

I agree. Of course at their age, the delivery of the message is going to be rough around the edges. But if she doesn't want to be around him, that's not a crime.

NP. It's rude to come over and insert yourself into a group activity, then tell someone who was already there to go away for no reason. She's not entitled to mark that part of a public space as her territory. There are some bizarre responses on this thread. I'm very committed to empowering little girls to assert themselves and not feel they need to accommodate others' desires, but there is a difference between sticking up for yourself / being assertive and being rude and aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with her not wanting to play with your son. Maybe he was just a bit too loud or rough for her. And your son should respect that.

However, her parents should have taught her to say, "sorry, I just want to play by myself today". There's no excuse to say "go away" unless he was pestering her.

To those of you making this a grrrl power manifesto, my husband taught his daughters (for 1st marriage) to always stick up for underdogs. Is this teaching them to be people pleasers? No - it is teaching not only NOT to be jerks, but also to be kind. Now that they are in high school, they are the first kids to stick up for someone who is being bullied, the first kids to invite the new kid to sit at lunch. These are good skills for boys and girls, and I love that he didn't raise mean girls.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely think the mother of the little girl should have intervened. Children need to be taught to be kind and inclusive. However, I would not call the little girl a "little shit" or a brat - she's only four, too.

In your situation, OP, I would have intervened and told the little girl that everyone was playing together and it is unkind to tell someone to go away. If the mother isn't gong to parent, then I would have had my son's back on this.


People love to pile on at DCUM. If the first three posters had been on your side, OP, the results of this thread would have been very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You set this up in your original post to sound like your son was pestering the girl, OP. You made it sound like she rejected an invitation. Now you're telling a different story. I think you're changing your story because you're not getting the sympathy you expected.

Go back and re-read my post. Where did I imply my son was pestering this child? You're changing my story to justify this child's bratty behavior. It's no wonder we have so many rude, entitled young adults these days.

Your description of her telling him to "leave her alone" directly implies some interaction that he initiated.

Reading is fundamental. I said in my OP that I was watching them all the entire time. If my son was being an irritant to another child, I would've corrected him. As I said, I saw nothing that could've led to her reaction. How about she was just being a brat?

You come across and thinking your precious little snowflake could never do anything wrong, so you'll excuse us for snorting at this. You've probably never corrected the child in your life. But it's cute how you judge another mother for not helicoptering.

I'm sure your son is precious. But you're over the top.

Yes, my son is precious, to me. And I'm teaching him to be assertive, and kind, and respectful. I'm teaching him all those things. That's my job. Maybe you should take a page out of my book.

Oh, honey. Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely think the mother of the little girl should have intervened. Children need to be taught to be kind and inclusive. However, I would not call the little girl a "little shit" or a brat - she's only four, too.

In your situation, OP, I would have intervened and told the little girl that everyone was playing together and it is unkind to tell someone to go away. If the mother isn't gong to parent, then I would have had my son's back on this.


People love to pile on at DCUM. If the first three posters had been on your side, OP, the results of this thread would have been very different.

I was the third responder and I did agree with OP! This post has taken a strange turn.

[Anonymous]

I would LOVE to hear the other side of the story from the girl's mom. The more OP posts, the less credible she becomes.

[Anonymous]

When I first read the original post my immediate thought was of kids I work with who are not socially adept for various reasons. And they are not 4, they are a few years older.

There are children who due to various issues do not know how to appropriately interact with other kids, they may learn but it is often a slow learning curve and sometimes they never quite make it.

The girl's mom may not have intervened because she knew her daughter would not react well to that. You never know what others are dealing with. It may have been a major victory for them that the child spoke to another child at all. I don't know, obviously, but this is definitely a possibility.

I find it disappointing that parents of "typical" kids are so quick to call another parent out as not parenting correctly, and to call a small child names because they did not interact properly or were rude, these kinds of expectations sure makes it hard on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Please. No means no to what exactly? He was there before this girl arrived. He didn't ask to play with her. All the kids were getting along fine until this child came along "asserting" herself for no reason other than to be a brat.

You seem mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then she should not have joined the group with whom he was playing.

When my DD told me about this happening she and I decided she would stand up to the mean girl and tell her if Johnny couldn't play she would not play either.

She did it and it worked. Johnny could play with everyone. I was so proud of her.

You sock-puppeting now, OP? Bizarre.

Oh please. I posted above and I am not OP.

Its a true story. Kids are smarter than we think. Teach them to be kind and start young.

Also raised my daughter to understand that when friends are standing in a circle, it is nice to step back and let someone step in.

You know, basic kindness, inclusivity, and gracious manners.

Self advocacy matters more, Op. you don't sound very kind yourself.

[Anonymous]

To the people attacking OP,

Stop making this a girls versus boys conflict. Don't contribute to the snowflake epidemic, and teach your children manners at an early age.

I would not have tolerate that in either my son or my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
To the people attacking OP,

Stop making this a girls versus boys conflict. Don't contribute to the snowflake epidemic, and teach your children manners at an early age.

I would not have tolerate that in either my son or my daughter.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
To the people attacking OP,

Stop making this a girls versus boys conflict. Don't contribute to the snowflake epidemic, and teach your children manners at an early age.

I would not have tolerate that in either my son or my daughter.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
To the people attacking OP,

Stop making this a girls versus boys conflict. Don't contribute to the snowflake epidemic, and teach your children manners at an early age.

I would not have tolerate that in either my son or my daughter.

+1

+2

Oh please. Get over yourselves.