Code words/phrases for mentioning sex to SO when other/kids are around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG i have this boring thing I need fixed in the bathroom. It's dirty and boring... the selves need fixed... kids give us a few minutes... we won't be able to come (hehe) right away... then we lock the bedroom door so the 'construction dust' (ie sex smell) doesn't waft out.

gross.

Kids are not that stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

Precisely. Super dumb and CRINGEEEEE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of us usually says something along the lines of, "Hey, wanna fool around later?"

DD is 7 and doesn't seem to think that this means anything other than "be goofy together later." She hasn't used it herself.

Until she innocently does and you get a phone call from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laundry time. Why? Sometimes it’s a big load sometimes it’s really dirty.

Same- Hey honey can you help me with the laundry. If I need actual laundry help I need to make it very clear there are no benefits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

Are we supposed to think it’s bad if our teenagers think of sex as a cringe thing that their parents do?

This seems like a perfectly fine scenario to me!

[Anonymous]

We say that we are “doing our taxes.” It came from a joke where I asked DH if he wanted to engage in “married people activities” with me, and he said, “Like what? File our taxes? Oh, can we file jointly baby?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

Are we supposed to think it’s bad if our teenagers think of sex as a cringe thing that their parents do?

This seems like a perfectly fine scenario to me!

Nope. So just use the word sex.

[Anonymous]

Does Larla want to watch [2 hour Disney movie]?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

haha, hilarious. (or not, for you, I bet at the time. Blech).

My dad worked shift work when I was younger and my mom had to go into the bedroom and wake him up when he was sleeping off a typical schedule - my siblings and I wanted to go in too but were never allowed (he needs his rest after working all night!) and I never quite got why she would disappear for 30 minutes. I just recently mentioned this to my brother (we're both over 50 and he remembers but had never put 2+2 together - I had just realized it myself just a few years ago).

[Anonymous]

Gross

[Anonymous]

“I’ll shag you rotten, baby!”

[Anonymous]

During the pandemic we were trapped in the house with a teen who would barely come out of his room while we worked at home. We have a detached garage with with a gym in it. We used to have to sneak out and have sex on the gym equipment. Our euphemisms all became gym related.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are very small still but we joke about porking and starfish a lot. “Read to the kids before bed and I’ll starfish for you!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We say that we are “doing our taxes.” It came from a joke where I asked DH if he wanted to engage in “married people activities” with me, and he said, “Like what? File our taxes? Oh, can we file jointly baby?”

This sounds like an accountant joke!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

Honestly my parents don’t/didnt have sex and I feel more traumatized by that. It made me sad as a teenager to think they didn’t love each other. I feel like it impacted my relationships as a young adult because I so badly didn’t want to end up like that. Luckily I’m very happily married.

Point is, kids can get upset about anything. I think sex and affection is so healthy. Hopefully kids are only seeing the latter though!