Code words/phrases for mentioning sex to SO when other/kids are around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeding the hairy clam.

Gross are you 50?

[Anonymous]

We just refer to fu<king

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeding the hairy clam.

Gross are you 50?

And you must be immature! Sad!

[Anonymous]

We call it "spearing Cthulu."

[Anonymous]

OMG i have this boring thing I need fixed in the bathroom. It's dirty and boring... the selves need fixed... kids give us a few minutes... we won't be able to come (hehe) right away... then we lock the bedroom door so the 'construction dust' (ie sex smell) doesn't waft out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband just says "I'm going to f--- you later."

Then he wonders why I don't want to.

FUNNY. Because I say this to DH and it works fine. Maybe it's because I add "so hard" to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm, it's usually how we touch each other, For example, I'll touch his lower back or he'll kiss my neck, to let it be known it's going to be on.

It's not super obvious because we're fairly affectionate people anyway.

If for some reason, the kids are still up and we don't want to wait It's a yawn and stretch
We go to bed and tell the kids"goodnight, to make sure to "let the dog out, make sure all the lights are off when you're done"

zzzzzz ... boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG i have this boring thing I need fixed in the bathroom. It's dirty and boring... the selves need fixed... kids give us a few minutes... we won't be able to come (hehe) right away... then we lock the bedroom door so the 'construction dust' (ie sex smell) doesn't waft out.

gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG i have this boring thing I need fixed in the bathroom. It's dirty and boring... the selves need fixed... kids give us a few minutes... we won't be able to come (hehe) right away... then we lock the bedroom door so the 'construction dust' (ie sex smell) doesn't waft out.

gross.

[Anonymous]

Laundry time. Why? Sometimes it’s a big load sometimes it’s really dirty.

[Anonymous]

We are boring. For us, it's definitely just touching a certain way. We are normally affectionate and touchy with each other anyways, but if he's in the mood he'll come up behind me and pull me into him and kiss my neck a certain way. And if I'm in the mood I'll pull him forwards into me and give him a kiss and he "can tell by the look in my eyes". Luckily he works from home and I work 3 days a week, so we have plenty of time when DS isn't home. I really hate having to be quiet when DS is home.

[Anonymous]

We don't need to say anything - just a raised eyebrow followed by a glance upstairs.

[Anonymous]

I share this as a warning.

So when I was an older teenager, I FIGURED MY PARENT'S OUT and it was a MAJOR bummer. They still don't know that I know. But for the remaining like two years of high school they would say it and I would CRINGE.

It was "did you make the bed this morning?"

Which is pretty good and subtle! But still. So beware, kids are smart! I would stop with codes when your kids are teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what circumstance would warrant this? Are you talking about slyly telling your partner you can't wait to get it on later?

Same

[Anonymous]

We don't mention sex when the kids are around. There are plenty of other opportunities to talk about it. In the morning I might just say lets have a date tonight.