What do people fight about?
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Anonymous
I agree that conflict resolution is an important skill to learn, especially to model for your children. Don't use an angry voice, or accusatory language, but simply state how you feel, like "When you work late every night and then want to go out with your buddies on the weekend, it makes me feel . . . " And it always helps to have a concrete thing that you would like. So when he says, "What do you want from me?" or something, you can say, "I would love to have family dinners twice a week, and one night a weekend that was just for us." Something like that, so you have an actual goal you are working towards and are not just venting and saying mean things. |
Anonymous
But that isn't how it work, actually. I don't do all the chores. I totally am a non-confronter, but DH does his share of the chores. And if he wants them done his way, he does them. I think this works because we both do a lot, as opposed to both of us shirking. |
Anonymous
So you avoid discussing money, therefore you don't fight about it. And I guess you and spouse have the same sensitivity to chores being done/not done. Interesting. |
Anonymous
I have told my DH for over 20 years that he's too much of a slob. Altering his behavior? never in a million years. |
Anonymous
so this is irrelevant to marriages where one spouse is a shirker. |
Anonymous
Yeah...how do you never talk about money? Do you know anything about your family finances? |
Anonymous
| Occasionally about parenting differences, mostly about me not pulling my weight around the house -- not planning meals/cooking enough, not taking care of household things, leaving too much to him, etc. It doesn't help that his mom lives with us and relies on him heavily (don't know how that woman ever made it in the world on her own). |
Anonymous
| PP -- oh yeah, CLEANING. That's a big one. |
Anonymous
| We would fight about everything except for how to raise our child. Divorcing now and finally get along. Or at least I can end the conversation if the fight begins to brew. |
Anonymous
| Sex. We are mismatched in drive and she has no interest in meeting my needs. I do try to speak her love language and meet her needs, but her lack of interest and desire is really breeding resentnent |
Anonymous
Barely. Whenever I bring it up we have a fight. |
Anonymous
| Wonder what your spouse is hiding. |
Anonymous
I know what he's hiding. And I don't like it. Hence, the fight whenever I bring it up. |