Stupid mommy! Mommy is stupid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

[Anonymous]

I would just say that's too bad because a large component of intelligence is genetic so that means you are probably stupid too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

If attempting to discipline your child ends in physical harm to you I would call the police on him. I'm being absolutely serious. Let him go to juvenile detention for a day if he beats his mom for telling him to get out of the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should say that he has ADHD and traditional punishments like taking things away aren't a good strategy. As for the pool situation, I'm not sure how you woul envision removing a 6 year old boy from a swimming pool in a way that is t violent or at least physically domineering and aggressive. I'm not going to physically drag him from the pool. I left. I can control my behavior not his. But I would like a positive discipline method to help get rid of what has become a habit.

Your excuses for why you "can't" discipline explain why your son is acting like this. You refuse to be the parent. Deal with it then.

I agree OP. The pool situation would be really hard. I think I'd do four things:

1. talk about it, discuss how it hurts your feelings and that it needs to stop because you don't talk that way to each other in your family. Ask him what the consequence should be if he does it. Brainstorm with him, come to an agreement. Then write an agreement down, have him sign it and post it somewhere. Have some consequences in mind that you can suggest if he doesn't have anything. I find my kids usually have stronger consequences than I'd give

2. Since it's become a bad habit, replace it with something else. Come up with a catchy jingle and sing it during the day instead. Or play a song a lot. Seems like it's stuck in his head for some reason.

3. Going along with the habit idea, I think I'd talk to him about how it's become a habit and might be hard to change. Underscore to him that he's a smart kid and he can catch himself and stop himself because he's a kind boy and loves you and wouldn't want to hurt your feelings. At the end of the day give him some kind of reward if he hasn't used the song all day (or maybe twice a day - whatever works for him), like a candy or something. Then reward him for 3 weeks. Most habits take 3 weeks to change.

4. Since he does it to get your attention, try to address that need in other ways. Set up some activities for 10 minutes each am and pm to do together. Make sure his "bucket is filled".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

If attempting to discipline your child ends in physical harm to you I would call the police on him. I'm being absolutely serious. Let him go to juvenile detention for a day if he beats his mom for telling him to get out of the pool.

+1 it is ridiculous that an adult would end up in the hospital for implementing rules or requests to a child.

[Anonymous]

We used to have more traditional punishments of taking away privileges and toys but were told not to do that to a child with ADHD. The consequence needs to be related to the behavior. Taking away my attention seems to be the most natural consequence. But I see that I should have posted in the SN forum. You guys are brutal.

Op as someone who has worked with ADHD, and spectrum children I wasn't to say that most people do not understand what you are going through I like that you are trying positive discipline too.

With that said be aware that PD does not excuse bad behaviors, nor should you ignore it. Taking away your attention is a natural consequence, but so is going home from the pool.

When DS is calm, talk to him about how name calling really bothers you. Ask him to change the wording to silly mommy, or sweet mommy. Then before you go on an outing tell him that you know he will be able to remember to use kinder words, and that your counting on him to be a great, and helpful kid.

If he acts up, you say mommy is pretty upset that you were not able to use your nice words, I am ready to go home now, and you leave with him. Rinse repeat.

Natural consequence : you are upset and don't want to stay out with home anymore. He is too young to stay by himself so everyone goes home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

If attempting to discipline your child ends in physical harm to you I would call the police on him. I'm being absolutely serious. Let him go to juvenile detention for a day if he beats his mom for telling him to get out of the pool.

+1 it is ridiculous that an adult would end up in the hospital for implementing rules or requests to a child.

I concur with whomever said this thread needs to be moved to the Special Needs forum. Enough with the attacks from the clueless bitches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the OP's description now it sounds more like coprolalia than misbehavior... And that is a totally different story..

Say what now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the OP's description now it sounds more like coprolalia than misbehavior... And that is a totally different story..

Say what now?

http://www.njcts.org/tsparents/ask-dr-ticcy-how-do-i-deal-with-my-childs-coprolalia#more-2150

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

If attempting to discipline your child ends in physical harm to you I would call the police on him. I'm being absolutely serious. Let him go to juvenile detention for a day if he beats his mom for telling him to get out of the pool.

+1 it is ridiculous that an adult would end up in the hospital for implementing rules or requests to a child.

I concur with whomever said this thread needs to be moved to the Special Needs forum. Enough with the attacks from the clueless bitches.

Do you think there's a magical barrier that prevents people who post in the special needs forum from posting here and vice versa? I'm a special needs mom and I have posted here. Just because an OP doesn't like the advice doesn't mean it isn't sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with ADHD. She's also six. She calls me stupid, I haul her out of whatever situation she's in or she experiences some other logical consequence. She's not stupid - she knows what she's doing and that it's not acceptable. The adhd has nothing to do with that particular example of bad behavior.

What if you physically cannot pick up and remove your child? What if your child is too big or gets aggressive/fights back/doesn't cooperate, like in OP's case of leaving the pool? I am petite person and both of my elementary age children are way too heavy for me to carry anywhere. I have tried to take them to their room or have them leave a place when they misbehaved, and I have myself gotten hurt. So if you cannot pick them up and they won't come, what do you do (I ask in all seriousness, because I really have this issue)?

You're an adult with a car and a checkbook. Punish by taking away all they care about.

That doesn't answer my questions whatsoever and is completely not helpful. Do I drive away with my checkbook when my child will not come and I am trying to remove that child from the situation but they are physically too large to do so? I am not the OP but am the poster with this question you posted but didn't answer. I am asking for sincere replies, because I have ended up in the hospital three times.

If attempting to discipline your child ends in physical harm to you I would call the police on him. I'm being absolutely serious. Let him go to juvenile detention for a day if he beats his mom for telling him to get out of the pool.

+1 it is ridiculous that an adult would end up in the hospital for implementing rules or requests to a child.

I concur with whomever said this thread needs to be moved to the Special Needs forum. Enough with the attacks from the clueless bitches.

Yeah, because it's makes much more sense to take advice on how to curb name-calling from someone who's name-calling.

[Anonymous]

0P, how is it going? Any improvement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if he taunted another person that way? Ask them to ignore and move away from him? Hell no and neither should you! I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that he is rude and you won't stand for it. At the pool we'd be out the gate so fast his head would spin - at home he'd be marched off away from me since he can't be trusted to behave appropriately

Why are so many parents so afraid to correct children with any degree of firmness?! You're job is not to coddle him; your job is to train him to be a civil human being!

Yeah I don't it either. Why would you not haul your kid out physically? You don't have to drag him along the concrete but if you're physically able you snatch his ass out of the pool and frogmarch him to the chairs to pack up your stuff. God people, this flaccid, paranoid, dippy parenting drives me nuts.