Sister telling people I'm on a diet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing. Many of us who are larger have been shamed about our weight and appearance for years. This can result in a situation where you are extremely sensitive about your weight and your body. I currently avoiding being in photographs for this reason. Even when I lose weight, I am really uncomfortable with people mentioning it because:
a. the subtext is "You look so much better. Geez, you used to be so fat and disgusting!"
b. I am uncomfortable with anyone telling me something that implies that they are looking and have been looking at my body - because chances are, in the past they were not admiring it.
c. Telling me that I look great, or I look better or that I am doing a good job with my weight loss is extremely condescending, and you are acting from a position of privilege as a thin person in rewarding me with a compliment -- which I didn't ask for, don't want, and don't acknowledge that you have the power to go around handing out.
d. It's intrusive and inappropriate. It crosses boundaries. Just because I am in public doesn't give you the right to comment on my body. I may very well have noticed your new boob job, but I"m not going to say "Hey, I think your new boobs look great. Maybe now your husband will stop screwing around on you."

You said it extremely well. My body is not a topic of discussion, thanks.

And you are going to stop us - how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is though. No matter how much you say it isn't. So just get over it.

Many people agree with OP

They don't, actually. People are saying that private matters shouldn't be up for public discourse. However the reality is that sometimes they are, even by well-meaning friends and family who love you. So the moral here is that unless you want to live your life perpetually offended and betrayed, you'd better try to think about something else!

You sound like a busy body who has a lot invested in being a busy body. You sound like that lady in church who says to her prayer circle, "Let's all pray for Judy. I heard that she and Bobby are having marital problems."
Discussing other people's personal business is not loving and well-meaning. It is gossip.

This

But there is nothing wrong with gossip.

[Anonymous]

Op: your post send rather fat uous.

[Anonymous]

Talking about fatties behind their back is fun. No reason to stop just because it makes fatties mad. In fact op you're just encouraging it by trying to stop it.

[Anonymous]

New PP here, I have met more people in DC area obsessed with weight than anywhere else I have lived. It's bizarre.

I sympathize OP, I have family members who love to talk about others all the time too. Just don't tell you sister anything you don't want everyone to know, now that you know she has a big fat mouth.

You can't stop them from talking. In my family, not talking about weight is a losing battle. At this point, I don't care what they say about me, the crappier stuff the better. I spend as little time with them as possible, at this point, so they can enjoy their gossip fest while I am out doing constructive enjoyable things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talking about fatties behind their back is fun. No reason to stop just because it makes fatties mad. In fact op you're just encouraging it by trying to stop it.

Except I'm thinner than the people talking about me, lol.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP, I would be really uncomfortable with this too and would have had the same reaction. This stuff is private and it's uncomfortable to think about others discussing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand why you're not thrilled that your sister told your aunt about your diet. But I think you're making too much out of this. Your sister told your aunt you were on a diet. Your aunt noticed that you had lost some weight, and commented on it, probably meaning to encourage you. You lied and denied it, which is just bizarre. Why not just say, "Oh, yeah, thanks."? I'm sure your aunt told your sister about your lie, because it's really weird.

But my aunt noticed nothing because the last time I saw this aunt--I weighed the same as I did at the wedding. When I saw aunt before this I was thinner. So I am the same size as she previously saw me at. It was really stretching it for her to comment on this.

Many people are vague about their weight loss. In fact, I was not lying about it-- I didn't lose weight from when she saw me. But even if I did,I may have responded the same way, TBH.

I also felt something when I denied it, she was so sure that I lost weight- it felt fake. That's what made me realize my sister told her.

It was a lie. You are the one in the wrong here.

I had not lost weight from when she saw me a year earlier. So for her to look at me and say I lost weight, it's wrong.

She asked if you lost weight. You had. You said you hadn't. That was a lie.

She did not say, "did you lose weight since I last saw you?" If she had, you wouldn't have been lying. But as it was you lied. Also, how do you know that she hasn't seen pictures of you in the meantime?

I'm sure she will avoid talking to you in the future, as you both can't accept a compliment and are a liar.

You sound like a particularly cruel person. One could just as easily say the aunt is a liar because there's no way that she noticed the OP's weight loss if she weighed the same. The aunt was probably trying to validate her efforts at dieting and then for some reason went back to the sister to complain about it. Sounds like an entire family of thoughtless boobs--no wonder the OP doesn't want to discuss her diet or her weight with them.

And please take note: not everyone finds comments about their weight, up or down, to be complimentary, and several people have pointed out that some people who Lost Weight, Look Great!! are suffering from serious health problems. Although you don't sound like you care much about other people's feelings.

But she did discuss it with "them", i.e. her sister.

[Anonymous]

Apart from PP, why is it acceptable to comment on thin people? But not on heavy people. I feel like there are constant double standards in some matters. Short people can comment on tall people, but do not ever comment on people who are short, same with thin/heavy. OP and the rest of us, how many times did you/we tell somebody they are skinny? And how many times did you tell somebody they are heavy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apart from PP, why is it acceptable to comment on thin people? But not on heavy people. I feel like there are constant double standards in some matters. Short people can comment on tall people, but do not ever comment on people who are short, same with thin/heavy. OP and the rest of us, how many times did you/we tell somebody they are skinny? And how many times did you tell somebody they are heavy?

This. You can say "eat a hamburger" as a joke, but don't you dare make a joke about extra weight.

[Anonymous]

Imagine if I just saw a friend, after a few years and she gained ton of weight. And I go "Oh, my God, what happened to you, you gained so much weight!" But, totally ok, "Oh, my God, you lost so much weight!"