Two Parents WOH Full-Time No Local Famiily -- Show of hands
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Anonymous
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OP here. So here is a typical work day. This assumes no work overruns, no traffic, no lunch forgotten. Dinner is as simple as can be, but fresh veggies and meat.
We barely see kids, and really no hefty chores or cleaning or errand time Time Spouse 1 Spouse 2 6:00 Wake, shower dress 6:30 Commute 7:00 Start work Wake, prep kids 7:30 Work Breakfast 8:00 Work Drop Off Kids 8:30 Work Commute 9:00 Work Start Work 3:30 End Work/Conmute Work 4:00 Pickup Kids Work 4:30 Outdoor/Activity Work 5:30 End activity End Work/Commute 6:00 Arrive Home/Bath Arrive Home/Start Dinner 6:30 Homework Pack Lunches 7:00 Dinner Dinner 8:00 Brush Teetth, read stories Dishes 8:30 Kids to Sleep Help with kids to sleep 9:00 Bills, work emails, calendar Unload kids gear and prep for next day 10:00 Sleep (maybe gym) Sleep (maybe work) |
Anonymous
you might want to go on task rabbit or something to get someone who comes in for an hour daily to tidy up after you guys leave in the morning? I had the same issue but tweaked my schedule so that one of us left after the other and cleaned up so it wasn't a disaster when we got home. we also prep our veggies & stuff on the weekend. Its hard, good luck. |
Anonymous
How is this barely seeing your kids? Spouse 1 is with them from 4pm-bedtime. Spouse 2 is with them in the a.m. and again for a couple hrs in the evening. How much time to do you expect to see them? |
Anonymous
Yes, but then our weekends are squandered on deferred chores, errands. It's two hours of quality time during day, rest is maintenance. Would be great to make dinner before picking up kids, and just glide home as a family which most SAH can manage. |
Anonymous
Telework 3x week Save 60 minutes commute, plus maybe do some chore or dinner prep during lunch. 1.5. X3, 4.5 hrs extra every week! Plus putting dinner in as you end the day and ready when kids walk in. Maybe a crock pot can do it but not well. |
Suggestions to move and go SAH/PT are not really the direction we are leaning unless really have to.
Anonymous
Compared to the SAHM or PT mom who spends every afternoon AND evening with their kids? Think about summer! |
Anonymous
| We rely on the crock pot, weekend cooking, and trading child care with other families. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at reaching out and making new friends. But I wish we (OP and all the other posters) could have a support group! |
Anonymous
| Me. Three kids and no help. I keep my house clean using zones so I do a little each day. I clean 15 min in the morning and 45 in the evening. I work 6:30 to 3 with a 45 minute commute. I have a late meeting twice a month and get home around 6:30 pm. DH can do the night shift so he gets off in the early am right before I leave and he does the drop off and I do pick up. We spend 5 hours together before he goes to work. I take off at least a half day a month so we can have a date day while the kids are in school. If we couldn't do the different shifts we would have to get a nanny. |
Anonymous
Any dual WOH parents can post similar schedules, see any glaring inefficiencies? Do you spent weekends errand and chores Clearly one answer is to sleep less 
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Anonymous
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Dual WOH parents, kids 8 and 5.
7:30 We all get up, except 8yo who we let sleep until a few minutes before 8 8:20 or so--we all leave the house. 8yo prefers school breakfast so doesn't eat at home. School is 2 blocks away. DH usually does drop off, but sometimes me. 9:00 or so--arrive at work We take turns doing pick up. When it is me, I leave work at 5:10 or 5:15 to make it to aftercare by 6:00. When it isn't me, I leave work at 5:45 to 6:15 and make it home by 6:30 to 7:00. Most nights, DH makes simple dinner for the kids who eat at about 7:30--chicken tacos, scrambled eggs, quesadillas, pasta, something like that with a microwaved frozen vegetable side. We do family dinner on Sunday and maybe one week night. I regret that we don't do family dinner more often, but I don't regret it enough to limit my dinners to what the kids will eat/ what we can prepare in 15 minutes. Bath, toothbrush, stories after dinner for my five year old, whose bedtime is about 8:30, though he is up for up to an hour after that playing quietly in his room and occasionally cheerfully popping downstairs. The 8 year old then has a bath, reads, hangs out, has a 9:30 bedtime. Grown ups have dinner late at 9:30 or even 10, but worth the wait as my DH is an awesome cook (and is in charge of all food prep). Then I clean up after dinner, and we read or play online or watch a tv show together (which I often fall asleep during) and go to bed at midnight or 12:30. We have a messy house and weekends do have a lot of things like grocery shopping and laundry and picking up. We have cleaners every two weeks and so I don't really do cleaning like vacuuming and bathroom scrubbing, as every two weeks keeps it up to my low standards. I don't find this schedule to be that punishing. There are weeks when I have to get back online in the evening to work and that makes it rough, but if that is not happening, I find this to be a good rhythm. |
Anonymous
| Oh and I am immediate pp and my DH runs some days at gym in his building before he gets home. I run for maybe half an hour 3 times a week at 7 or 7:30 or 8. |
Anonymous
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I need more sleep than many of you! We are both working, one kid, pregnant with number two. No help in the area. The biweekly housekeeper is a must for my sanity, we also out source lawn care. When my kid starts kindergarten in the fall I'm looking into an au pair, nanny or someone to pick her up sometimes. We already have signed up for aftercare.
Our income is high so we can afford more help, honestly it would stress me to no end if we were tight every month in addition to dealing with working, etc. |
Anonymous
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We do have family and help but the biggest difference for us and what makes it work is very short commutes. DH is 30 min one way and he leaves the house before 7 and comes home at 4. Mine is about 5 min so I leave later but I also come home at 4:30 tops.
I make simple dinners so it's on the table in 30 min or less. On weekends always grill extra whatever to last a couple days. Cook some for the week on Sunday. Also have things in the oven during dinner for tomorrow's dinner. It's isually a protein and a salad and a cooked vegetable. Nothing complicated. When it's leftovers I can make a salad in 5 min and reheat at the same time and dinner is served. I order everything online including my clothes so errands are limited to Home Depot and Costco which are not every weekend. I grocery shop during the week since it's super close and I'm in and out in 20 min, or DH does TJ after work one day every two weeks. Lots and lots of lists and joint grocery lists and chore lists. I've become super fast at doing things and trying to mminize stuff and clutter, less to clean and more time to spend with family. And some stuff I just let fall by the wayside. I have two hampers of my clean laundry that I just never have time to put away completely. Don't care. Rather play with my kid. |
Anonymous
So your employees are okay with you putting in less than 8 hrs a day (8.5 including lunch is minimum at most places)? If getting in 'around 9' and leaving. 5:15 woupd not fly at our office. I know you probably work thru lunch, but our employer says that doesn't count! Glad you like the rhythm and it's nice oh and DH get some time together for fun. Average nights sleep is 7 hrs? I should try that, maybe caffeine before bed would help! |
Anonymous
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OP, what do you want from us? We have given you our schedules and our suggestions. You just seem bitter that your life isn't different. You need to either accept your life the way it is, or change it. New job for starters.
I spend 3 hours/day with my child. Do I wish it was more? Of course. But I work full time. I have to. I used to spend less time with him but changed my work schedule. Now I work 8-4 and pick up my kid by 430. He goes to bed at 745. Yes, I work through lunch. Yes it's ok with my employer. |