Who is right? Son accidentally took item - disagreement results

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are being ridiculous. Your kid screwed up, and you should have made it right. Your entire message screams "me! Me! Me!" I don't want to drive 50 minutes. I don't want to wake the baby.

Agreed. I don't want to... MY baby....

Guess what- NO ONE CARES what you want to do, or if you have to wake your baby, or how far you have to drive, or where your husband is (big deal- his choice). You need to make it right- YOU are the parent of this child who stole/ removed a bathing suit, intentionally or not. If you refuse, you deserve the repercussions (no more invites, bill for new bathing suit, badmouthing, whatever else).

Mommies, you are rediculous. You don't have to make up for your kids mistakes, it is totally on them, between them and their friends. I would never drive to return anything that my kid accidentally took, unless it is life threatening , like asthma inhailer. Repercussions in the form of no future invites are great, it naturally removes toxic people from yours and your child's life.

Um...okay...except the "toxic" person in this case is the OP.

Fess up- you're crazy bathing suit lady, right?

My first reaction! Keep a wide birth. Asking a parent to wake a sleeping baby to drive 30 minutes to return swim trunks at 10 PM for your trip to NJ is beyond nuts. It's an 8 on the Whitman scale! Why would you want to waste an hour of your time when you'll pass a dozen Targets on the way to the Jersey Shore. Order online and pickup at the store. Mistakes happen and karma is a bitch.

[Anonymous]

The lady is nuts. Maybe offer to send her $, but nobody drives around at night to get a kids swimsuit. Keep a distance. Return the suit to their porch while they are away with a nice note and be done.

[Anonymous]

She is ridiculous. Your 7 year old made a mistake and of course, you will return them but I don't think grabbing the wrong pair of cheap swim trunks entitles someone else to think it's your responsibility to drive 1-2 hours immediately to return it to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Somewhere there's a husband somewhere listening to hour 2 of his wife ranting & raving about the missing/stolen swimsuit who keeps telling her she can buy a new one at target or the beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you screwed up when you offered to drive to return the suit. You bargained that she'd decline your offer but she didn't. That's on you. If you had left that from the conversation and just offered reimbursement, that would have probably been that. You offered to drive it, then backed off.

BTW, agreeing to meet you halfway was a good compromise, IMO. Driving 30 minutes is not an unreasonable request.

No, because she suggested meeting at 10pm. OP would have had to schlep two young kids. I wouldn't do it.

10PM is not the middle of the night and, IMO, not an unreasonable hour. The kids would have slept. I would have put on a mellow station to listen to music on the drive and returned the suit. Not sure why the other Mom should have all the inconvenience (store pick-up at Target, buy suit at vacation spot, etc). Where is OP's accountability? Money does not outweigh common courtesy.

... does not mean a 50 minute drive.

It was 30 minutes...with the Mom driving halfway to meet. Not to mention, the Mom never demanded the OP drive it. The OP made that offer.

[Anonymous]

She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you screwed up when you offered to drive to return the suit. You bargained that she'd decline your offer but she didn't. That's on you. If you had left that from the conversation and just offered reimbursement, that would have probably been that. You offered to drive it, then backed off.

BTW, agreeing to meet you halfway was a good compromise, IMO. Driving 30 minutes is not an unreasonable request.

No, because she suggested meeting at 10pm. OP would have had to schlep two young kids. I wouldn't do it.

10PM is not the middle of the night and, IMO, not an unreasonable hour. The kids would have slept. I would have put on a mellow station to listen to music on the drive and returned the suit. Not sure why the other Mom should have all the inconvenience (store pick-up at Target, buy suit at vacation spot, etc). Where is OP's accountability? Money does not outweigh common courtesy.

Are you still the bathing suit loon? you lost, most agree with OP, I think 1 agrees with you (possibly you agree with you repeatedly)

No, I'm not but, given the women of DCUM, being in agreement on this issue is not exactly a compliment...

[Anonymous]

The fact that the lady did not post here, and OP did...that makes that lady a 1000 times more right than OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't believe most of the posters are putting the obligation on the wronged party and NOT the OP. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't believe most of the posters are putting the obligation on the wronged party and NOT the OP. Unbelievable.

I'm not surprised at all. The generation raised by helicopter parents who catered to their special snowflakes succeeded at raising a generation of self-centered, entitled jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can't believe most of the posters are putting the obligation on the wronged party and NOT the OP. Unbelievable.

No way. A normal mom wouldn't have had unrealistic expectations of OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was inconvenienced because of your son's fault. That is the fact. It does not matter if you think that her inconvenience was small. That is your opinion.

You are feeling inconvenienced because you are supposed to fix your son's fault. That was your moral obligation. But you did not allow yourself to be inconvenienced to fix your son's fault. That is your selfishness and entitlement. You are not a good role model to your children in doing the right thing. Sorry, but I am not on your side. Even though I have sympathy for your situation.

Sometime doing the right thing is not easy, but not doing the right thing is wrong.

Following this logic, if the swimsuit snafu was not discovered until the family was in New Jersey it would be OP's moral obligation to drive the swimsuit to them there to "fix her son's fault." She would be selfish, entitled and a poor role model not to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I understand that the lady was crazy.

However, if it was me, I would have made sure that she gets it somehow. Even if I had to send my neighbor on Uber to drop it at her house or something. Mainly because it was my DS's fault. After that I would have never had any communication with that person because best to leave toxic people out of your life. This would be called taking the high road.

Agreed. Her unreasonable request should not outweigh taking responsibility for an unfortunate mistake.

You teach your kids to take responsibility for someone else's mistake?