Cultural Differences, planning 2 wedding receptions

[Anonymous]

OP-

Do not do 2 receptions. You are coming together as a new family. You should not be doing one reception for your family and one for his. That sounds awful. Find a way to incorporate elements of both. Or perhaps his parents do the rehearsal dinner as a big polish dinner/party.

[Anonymous]

Op, if you want to change into an evening gown during the reception per Chinese custom you can always rent one from rent the runway. Most Asian brides rent that dress. I still think it excessive to have two receptions instead of having Chinese ceremony in the morning and have a fusion reception in the evening.

As for western in laws giving you jewelry, I spared them that tradition and just served tea to my side. If you really want to you can serve them tea too. If you want to talk about dowry in western tradition the bride is supposed to pay for the wedding. My point is while planning this also think of what will make your in laws comfortable who are new to your customs as well.

[Anonymous]

Just Elope!! Do a destination wedding. If the Chinese elders get offended, just do the tea ceremony with them. That part is more important to the elderly than the evening banquet.

As for kids...you will see. Chinese ways are the opposites of the White American, such as it's ok to give your kid honey before 1 year.

[Anonymous]

I think most of the responders are being really narrow-minded. I've been to a weekend of wedding events similar to this in Africa. They had a traditional African ceremony and reception the first day and then the second day, everyone changed to traditional Western clothes and we had a Western ceremony and reception. It was fine. Nobody felt the cultures hadn't been respected. If the cultures are hard to meld, then I don't think it's that big of a deal to keep them separate, as long as everyone is invited to both. The worst wedding I've ever been to was of two disparate cultures and they tried unsuccessfully to meld the two traditions and it all made no sense and didn't feel like a coherent event.

[Anonymous]

In this case the cultures are perfectly easy to meld. Asian couples in Asia have asian/western fusion weddings like all the time.

[Anonymous]

Also it sounded at first like not all guests would be invited to all the events, which defeats part of the purpose of a big wedding, IMHO. It's two families coming together. If it's NOT two families coming together, just elope or get married at the courthouse.

[Anonymous]

My sister did this. She had a great time. Her husband's family had a great time. All of the white people (my family) were pissed. When you live in the culture where you are the majority, you are used to everyone doing everything exactly the way you expect it all of the time. And I don't mean what dress you wear. My family expected different food, music, ceremonies, and dancing. But, they expect all of these things to take place in a predictable order on a certain day and at a certain time. And while they may tolerate a change in length or order so that they can experience a different culture, what white americans will not tolerate is a wedding that takes place over 2 days.
Just warning you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Answer the questions OP.

And smile.

[Anonymous]

Instead of 10 Chinese dishes, just do 5 and do 5 Polish dishes. It's a nice mix, and people will deal. I mean, these relatives are ok with you marrying someone non-Chinese, right (and non-Polish on his side)? Then they must understand that not everything will be 100% traditional. They will get over it.

Who is paying for this? If you and DH, then even more reason this shouldn't be an issue. Even otherwise, tell your parents to tell everyone they aren't really involved with wedding prep and they won't have to answer a million questions from inquiring friends and relatives.