Sister already sent gift suggestions for her kids xMas; it's okay to pass and send a check right?

[Anonymous]

HA! I had the opposite problem, OP. Nieces and nephews had their lists prepared early enough, yet SIL refused to give me any suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe it is your sister's tone that is upsetting you? Otherwise I don't really get the issue. My son is 6, and so is my nephew, but they are just totally different people - DS is kind of a nerdy kid, into science and po

kemon, my nephew is sporty. I always ask my sister what my nephew would like and she asks me what DS would like.

Op here, guilty as charged. It's the "oh you poor thing, let me guide you into an appropriate gift choice since you are so helpless and wrong" that is grating.
Multiplied by 4 years of birthdays, baptisms, holidays, and his most recent panicked reaction to a cute gift that necessitated a long email with gift suggestions in October.

Maybe other people have been able to give/receive gift ideas without the condescending tone and overall ungrateful attitude, but it really stinks to be on the receiving end of this year after year.

I don't think that's her tone at all. You sound like someone who always assumes the worst intent and loves to play the victim.

My husband's family sends out lists and expects -- nay, demands -- them in return. Mine doesn't. But I don't mind playing along with his family because that's just how they've always done things. There's no malicious intent, for heaven's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe it is your sister's tone that is upsetting you? Otherwise I don't really get the issue. My son is 6, and so is my nephew, but they are just totally different people - DS is kind of a nerdy kid, into science and po

kemon, my nephew is sporty. I always ask my sister what my nephew would like and she asks me what DS would like.

Op here, guilty as charged. It's the "oh you poor thing, let me guide you into an appropriate gift choice since you are so helpless and wrong" that is grating.
Multiplied by 4 years of birthdays, baptisms, holidays, and his most recent panicked reaction to a cute gift that necessitated a long email with gift suggestions in October.

Maybe other people have been able to give/receive gift ideas without the condescending tone and overall ungrateful attitude, but it really stinks to be on the receiving end of this year after year.

I don't think that's her tone at all. You sound like someone who always assumes the worst intent and loves to play the victim.

My husband's family sends out lists and expects -- nay, demands -- them in return. Mine doesn't. But I don't mind playing along with his family because that's just how they've always done things. There's no malicious intent, for heaven's sake.

How could you possibly know this??

[Anonymous]

Just wondering if OP has ever used a bridal or baby shower gift registry, or is she opposed to those too? In the case of the bridal/baby registry, the store is the messenger; in this case it's her sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if OP has ever used a bridal or baby shower gift registry, or is she opposed to those too? In the case of the bridal/baby registry, the store is the messenger; in this case it's her sister.

Not the same.
The kids aren't even being allowed to see if they like the gift, the sister is running interference and suggesting pajamas and an ornament.
And there have been many threads bashing new moms and brides for demanding people get things off a registry or ask for cash as being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the original toy idea, OP? I've got a 4yo. I'm curious!

OP here with the worst gift ever:It's a 4 year old girl and I was going to get her one of those little blanket mermaid tails, it looks like the bottom half of a mermaid, almost like a cozy little sleeping bag so when you pull it up it looks like the bottom half of a mermaid. She loves to look at books and has an ocean themed room (you can get sharks for boys, I was going to get that for my boys)

Honestly what little girls need more - gendered toys like that. I suppose it is one step up from a princess outfit.

[Anonymous]

Our in-laws have kids the same age and every Christmas gift they have ever sent has been an utter fail with our kid. They always age younger than what she'd play with. They also send things like tons of puzzles - she doesn't like puzzles at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the original toy idea, OP? I've got a 4yo. I'm curious!

OP here with the worst gift ever:It's a 4 year old girl and I was going to get her one of those little blanket mermaid tails, it looks like the bottom half of a mermaid, almost like a cozy little sleeping bag so when you pull it up it looks like the bottom half of a mermaid. She loves to look at books and has an ocean themed room (you can get sharks for boys, I was going to get that for my boys)

Honestly what little girls need more - gendered toys like that. I suppose it is one step up from a princess outfit.

So it really WAS the worst gift idea ever. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It seems as if your relationship with your sister is making you read way too much criticism into the situation. Your email reminded her that she should send out lists - she doesn't necessarily think your gifts are crap, unless she's actually told you so, or re-gifted them as soon as they came in the house.

The idea of a wishlist is perfectly acceptable, and sending it early ensures you won't have bought something else already. It's what I do with my parents. Of course, I ask nicely and am properly grateful.

You can send her your kids' wishlists!

100% this. You sound super defensive about your sister's tone and implication that you're not capable of giving a nice gift. Here's the thing: I appreciate knowing what people would like. I don't buy that you truly don't. You just don't like that your sister is giving you the suggestions. And, you giving cash/check, would be not punishing your sister. It would only be a bummer for the kids, whose aunt couldn't think enough to buy a gift but rather stick a check in the mail. Nice.

[Anonymous]

You sound like an uptight loony bitch, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am totally on your side in concept. But you shared a link saying that a blanket mermaid tail or some shark-thingy is cute? Ooh, that's a rough one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am totally on your side in concept. But you shared a link saying that a blanket mermaid tail or some shark-thingy is cute? Ooh, that's a rough one.

Are you a 4 year old girl with an ocean theme room? Then your opinion is probably not valid here.

[Anonymous]

How is receiving gift suggestions a bad thing? Search Amazon, apply credit card, done with Christmas! Hooray!

My brother and I make Amazon wishlists to save even more hassle. I put a few things on there with differing price range, and he picks what he wants to get my kids. And vice versa. It's a great system that saves so much time. No drama either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am totally on your side in concept. But you shared a link saying that a blanket mermaid tail or some shark-thingy is cute? Ooh, that's a rough one.

Are you a 4 year old girl with an ocean theme room? Then your opinion is probably not valid here.

Different poster, but I would have wanted to nix that particular gift because it's the kind of thing my four-year-old would have thought was great when she opened it, immediately climbed into it, and then never ever used again. It would sit around her room as clutter and she'd refuse to let me donate it, but she'd never use it because she never just sits still, she's always moving.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I agreed to not buy gifts for each other's kids. Makes life much easier and our kids certainly don't need more stuff.