How old were you when you became a dad for the first time?

[Anonymous]

I was 26

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was 26

And I'm 35 now (with three), so technically still a millenial. I have an M.S.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:19 & 45

What, you're a same sex couple 26 years apart or are you a woman and these are your first and second husbands?

The question was when did the husband become a father, not the wife. He had two marriages. He had round #1 at 19, round #2 at 45.

Then he wasn't a first time dad at 45.....

Depends on how you look at it.

I think it is very telling that in your opinion your child was his first child. Guess you don't like the first child too much?

Heh...I wonder: is our Autistic Poster back again? Such literalism!

Look, it may also be that while he was technically a father at 19, he may never have had any contact or involvement with the child...ever. In which case, from a practical lifestyle and experience standpoint: no, he was not a father. It may have had nothing whatsoever to do with liking or not liking the child. He may have been uninvolved with any children until he had one at 45.

In the not too distant past it was not uncommon for teen pregnancies to be given up for adoption or for the fathers to not even be told they were fathers. I know one guy who found out in his late 30s about a daughter for the first time - who was 8 at the time - when the state came after him for child support; the mother had never told him and didn't tell him even when she gave his name to the state in order to continue getting benefits.

Why are you making it so complicated? It is obvious to everyone else that "became a father for the first time" means "the first time you fathered a child". So for this guy, it was 19. He was not a first-time father at 45, and I don't understand how you could argue otherwise. (And it does not bolster your viewpoint to refer to other posters as "autistic"). WTF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:19 & 45

What, you're a same sex couple 26 years apart or are you a woman and these are your first and second husbands?

The question was when did the husband become a father, not the wife. He had two marriages. He had round #1 at 19, round #2 at 45.

Then he wasn't a first time dad at 45.....

Depends on how you look at it.

I think it is very telling that in your opinion your child was his first child. Guess you don't like the first child too much?

Heh...I wonder: is our Autistic Poster back again? Such literalism!

Look, it may also be that while he was technically a father at 19, he may never have had any contact or involvement with the child...ever. In which case, from a practical lifestyle and experience standpoint: no, he was not a father. It may have had nothing whatsoever to do with liking or not liking the child. He may have been uninvolved with any children until he had one at 45.

In the not too distant past it was not uncommon for teen pregnancies to be given up for adoption or for the fathers to not even be told they were fathers. I know one guy who found out in his late 30s about a daughter for the first time - who was 8 at the time - when the state came after him for child support; the mother had never told him and didn't tell him even when she gave his name to the state in order to continue getting benefits.

Why are you making it so complicated? It is obvious to everyone else that "became a father for the first time" means "the first time you fathered a child". So for this guy, it was 19. He was not a first-time father at 45, and I don't understand how you could argue otherwise. (And it does not bolster your viewpoint to refer to other posters as "autistic"). WTF?

What does autism have to do with anything? And, my husband was very involved, payed child support and tons of extras despite his ex making it very difficult. Good try. We waited till child support was over before having our kids. No impact on the first set of kids.

[Anonymous]

26. 1 year out of law school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does autism have to do with anything? And, my husband was very involved, payed child support and tons of extras despite his ex making it very difficult. Good try. We waited till child support was over before having our kids. No impact on the first set of kids.

I'm PP at 11:28 who asked about "autism" - I did so because the other poster was being, in my view, pedantic about the very rigid technical definition of being a father at 19 for the first time. it reminded me of this post about the definition of "sexless" in a marriage. I was, actually, defending your choice of two different ages, not criticizing you, but whatever...

If your husband was as involved as he could be (given limitations placed by his ex), and paid child support, then I would agree with the posters who said he was a father for the first time at 19, and not at 45; that it was his first kid with you does not make it his first kid, no matter how you feel about his ex. I was giving examples of people who might technically be fathers, but not in any meaningful or applied sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does autism have to do with anything? And, my husband was very involved, payed child support and tons of extras despite his ex making it very difficult. Good try. We waited till child support was over before having our kids. No impact on the first set of kids.

I'm PP at 11:28 who asked about "autism" - I did so because the other poster was being, in my view, pedantic about the very rigid technical definition of being a father at 19 for the first time. it reminded me of this post about the definition of "sexless" in a marriage. I was, actually, defending your choice of two different ages, not criticizing you, but whatever...

If your husband was as involved as he could be (given limitations placed by his ex), and paid child support, then I would agree with the posters who said he was a father for the first time at 19, and not at 45; that it was his first kid with you does not make it his first kid, no matter how you feel about his ex. I was giving examples of people who might technically be fathers, but not in any meaningful or applied sense.

This.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow...Looking at all of these results, becoming a first time parent at 23 looks young.

I was 24, so i was quite young too. I read somewhere that the average age is 25 or 26 to become a dad for the first time but i was the only one in my group of friends and 5 years later i'm still the only one, it's weird i would never have guessed that other guys wait so much longer with the average at mid 20.

I'm 27 and was the first in my group, i agree i would have guessed we were the average age.

I think "average" is highly misleading, because I think these numbers vary wildly for economic and educational levels.

=<HS diploma: average is probably more like 22

=>BA|BS: average is probably more like 29

And I think it's creeping up. Boomers were averaging mid-20s; X-ers and Millenials are in their 30s. Education + Career = late start.

There is another thread were people argue that the average age is going down again. Does anyone else think it will be just the opposite? I think the age will go up even more at least for first time dads.

[Anonymous]

We were both 31. Absolutely the perfect age in our cases.

[Anonymous]

DH was 26 w/ an advanced degree an already had a solid career started, I was 30 with an advanced degree an also had a solid career. We were living in DC at the time (so probably very young for this area based on what I am reading) My DH is now 29 and I am 33 and we are discussing having a second baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...Looking at all of these results, becoming a first time parent at 23 looks young.

I was 24, so i was quite young too. I read somewhere that the average age is 25 or 26 to become a dad for the first time but i was the only one in my group of friends and 5 years later i'm still the only one, it's weird i would never have guessed that other guys wait so much longer with the average at mid 20.

I'm 27 and was the first in my group, i agree i would have guessed we were the average age.

I think "average" is highly misleading, because I think these numbers vary wildly for economic and educational levels.

=<HS diploma: average is probably more like 22

=>BA|BS: average is probably more like 29

And I think it's creeping up. Boomers were averaging mid-20s; X-ers and Millenials are in their 30s. Education + Career = late start.

There is another thread were people argue that the average age is going down again. Does anyone else think it will be just the opposite? I think the age will go up even more at least for first time dads.

[Anonymous]

49 and I am 41. First and only child for us both;second marriages as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:32. But I live in Old Town and feel like a teen parent sometimes! The dads around here are regularly in their '50's! The moms are closer to my age

Really first time dads are so old in Old Town? I always thought the kids from dads so old are from the second marriage.

Anyway my husband was 29.

Hah I agree! I saw a 70ish looking man with white beard and white hair with boys that appeared to be 7 and 8 and an asian wife that appeared to be in her 30's. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

pp here.. that was actually in old town too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH was 26 w/ an advanced degree an already had a solid career started, I was 30 with an advanced degree an also had a solid career. We were living in DC at the time (so probably very young for this area based on what I am reading) My DH is now 29 and I am 33 and we are discussing having a second baby.

Why do transplants have kids quicker than the DC natives it seems?