What is considered a sexless marriage?

[Anonymous]

For 25 yrs of my life, I'd have counted myself lucky having sex 1x / mth. It was more on the avg of 3-4 x a year ............. it was incredibly painful for me that DW was so low drive. I have the most wonderful children though so I can't say it wasn't worth sticking out. Kids turned 18 and now I'm F'ing everything that walks.
I hope for your sake that you can work the issue out. good luck

[Anonymous]

I haven't had sex in more than a year.

That's a sexless marriage.

1-2 times a month would be the salvation of my marriage at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We co-sleep but it doesn't have to affect your sex life. Put the kids to sleep and then go down and do it on the couch!

Or the guest room, or the floor, or shower or wherever. Then co-sleep.

I really don't see co-sleeping as a barrier to sex. By the time I hit the bed I'm ready to sleep, not rumble. My DH knows this and we always try to get it on earlier. Of course there are always those days when we're both home w/o kids for some reason -- that's an automatic.

Also -- quickie blow jobs in the morning in the bathroom. Depends on how old your kids are, but mine are busy in their rooms getting ready and a bj seriously takes less than 5 minutes.

I like sex to take more than 5 minutes, and can't imagine getting him off when he can't reciprocate. Of course, I am the higher drive spouse.

[Anonymous]

10x or less a year is considered "sexless." 12x a year probably doesn't make it fulfilling....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't had sex in more than a year.

That's a sexless marriage.

1-2 times a month would be the salvation of my marriage at this point.

Are you and your partner taking care of yourselves, or are there other people involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For 25 yrs of my life, I'd have counted myself lucky having sex 1x / mth. It was more on the avg of 3-4 x a year ............. it was incredibly painful for me that DW was so low drive. I have the most wonderful children though so I can't say it wasn't worth sticking out. Kids turned 18 and now I'm F'ing everything that walks.
I hope for your sake that you can work the issue out. good luck

So you left your wife once your youngest turned 18?

[Anonymous]

OP you described us to a t. Now that ds is about to turn two he is sleeping better and I have my relationship back w my husband. Finally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you not crave sex???

We have twice as many kids as the OP, and I'm desperately trying to get the kids to sleep so DH and I can have some fun. We have sex 3-5 times/week...anything less, and we would be worried.

We're exhausted. We both work full time, work out 3-5 times a week, are raising teenagers, are in our late 40s.

So work, exercise, raising teenagers, and age are barriers to having sex with your spouse? Interesting. Why don't you just say that you don't like having sex...that would make more sense.

[Anonymous]

Okay what the heck.

"Sexless" means a marriage with NO sex.
"Enough sex" means both partners think they have enough sex no matter how many times that is.
"Not enough sex" means one or both partners think they don't have enough sex whatever not enough means for them.

It doesn't matter what any expert says this is ridiculous...having sex once a month is not "sexless".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay what the heck.

"Sexless" means a marriage with NO sex.
"Enough sex" means both partners think they have enough sex no matter how many times that is.
"Not enough sex" means one or both partners think they don't have enough sex whatever not enough means for them.

It doesn't matter what any expert says this is ridiculous...having sex once a month is not "sexless".

...says the person who only has sex once a month and doesn't want their marriage defined as "sexless"

[Anonymous]

Yeah, really. Any sex in your marriage cancels out "sexless" as a descriptor. If your husband goes and has sex with another woman just once this year, you're not going to be calling what they have a sexless relationship, are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you not crave sex???

We have twice as many kids as the OP, and I'm desperately trying to get the kids to sleep so DH and I can have some fun. We have sex 3-5 times/week...anything less, and we would be worried.

We're exhausted. We both work full time, work out 3-5 times a week, are raising teenagers, are in our late 40s.

So work, exercise, raising teenagers, and age are barriers to having sex with your spouse? Interesting. Why don't you just say that you don't like having sex...that would make more sense.

No, we have sex once or twice a week, not the 3-5 times a weeks the person I was posting to has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay what the heck.

"Sexless" means a marriage with NO sex.
"Enough sex" means both partners think they have enough sex no matter how many times that is.
"Not enough sex" means one or both partners think they don't have enough sex whatever not enough means for them.

It doesn't matter what any expert says this is ridiculous...having sex once a month is not "sexless".

...says the person who only has sex once a month and doesn't want their marriage defined as "sexless"

I just KNEW this was going to be the reply...I used "once a month" because that's what has been thrown around in this thread a lot. Like 10 times a year is considered sexless or something I think it was. Not because that's the amount of sex I have. I actually have no sex. I am autistic. I have zero interest. But yeah - if you have sex you don't have a sexless marriage. Just the literal meaning of the word dictates you can not use it to describe a marriage in which in fact there IS sex. You can say "We barely have sex." or "We have sex twice a year." or "I wish we had more sex." or whatever. But unless you DON'T have sex you can not say "Sexless marriage."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay what the heck.

"Sexless" means a marriage with NO sex.
"Enough sex" means both partners think they have enough sex no matter how many times that is.
"Not enough sex" means one or both partners think they don't have enough sex whatever not enough means for them.

It doesn't matter what any expert says this is ridiculous...having sex once a month is not "sexless".

...says the person who only has sex once a month and doesn't want their marriage defined as "sexless"

I just KNEW this was going to be the reply...I used "once a month" because that's what has been thrown around in this thread a lot. Like 10 times a year is considered sexless or something I think it was. Not because that's the amount of sex I have. I actually have no sex. I am autistic. I have zero interest. But yeah - if you have sex you don't have a sexless marriage. Just the literal meaning of the word dictates you can not use it to describe a marriage in which in fact there IS sex. You can say "We barely have sex." or "We have sex twice a year." or "I wish we had more sex." or whatever. But unless you DON'T have sex you can not say "Sexless marriage."

Tomato, tomato

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay what the heck.

"Sexless" means a marriage with NO sex.
"Enough sex" means both partners think they have enough sex no matter how many times that is.
"Not enough sex" means one or both partners think they don't have enough sex whatever not enough means for them.

It doesn't matter what any expert says this is ridiculous...having sex once a month is not "sexless".

...says the person who only has sex once a month and doesn't want their marriage defined as "sexless"

I just KNEW this was going to be the reply...I used "once a month" because that's what has been thrown around in this thread a lot. Like 10 times a year is considered sexless or something I think it was. Not because that's the amount of sex I have. I actually have no sex. I am autistic. I have zero interest. But yeah - if you have sex you don't have a sexless marriage. Just the literal meaning of the word dictates you can not use it to describe a marriage in which in fact there IS sex. You can say "We barely have sex." or "We have sex twice a year." or "I wish we had more sex." or whatever. But unless you DON'T have sex you can not say "Sexless marriage."

Tomato, tomato

Says the person who wants to have more sex so tries to find ways to determine his/her marriage as sexless to put some pressure on the spouse? Whatever...either use words correctly or don't use those words. It's not that hard really.