Twenty-month-old DS doesn't want my parents babysitting him anymore...

[Anonymous]

OP - it honestly sounds like the nanny option is really out of your budget. Have you considered day care ? My parents are my full time child care and it simply wouldn't work out if the kids were cooped up in the house all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

yes, hitting a baby is the solution.

Hint: hitting a baby is never the solution.

Please don't feed the trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

OP here and I doubt I am doing that. I am always happy to see my parents and always act even happier when I tell DS why are coming. I also remind him that his nanny will be back. And again, he is not misbehaving during the day - he is just not happy.

He simply prefers his nanny at this point.

And I prefer to sleep in but 5-6 days a week, that isn't an option. Your child won't always be happy. Accept that and keep on truckin'.

[Anonymous]

Shorten the grandparent days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shorten the grandparent days

How would she do that? Leave work or bring in the nanny at time-and-a-half?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a good time for your son to learn that going out every day just because he wants to isn't necessarily going to happen. It's fine for him to have his preference and make it known (as you said OP, he's not 'acting up' with your parents, just asking for the nanny) but that doesn't mean he's always going to get it.

+ 1

He will be fine.
As you said this is 2 days a month.
Not worth going into debt for.
Not worth hiring someone else when this is most likely a short term phase and it's likely he'd act the same with a new part time sitter.
It really is okay for kids not to have their every demand met. He is not going to be traumatized and this is not going to cause long term damage.

+1 But make sure your parents also visit on the weekends, with you and DH present, so he has the opportunity to develop a relationship with them in a different context, where they are not the caretakers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

And award for "Worst Parent on DCUM" goes to... Congratulations, that is hard to achieve!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

Yes, that is an excellent idea. He needs to learn now that he cannot ask for anything ever. And, God knows, if he is ever allowed to have his own feelings the trouble will never end.

He shouldn't be allowed to treat his grandparents that way. It's disgusting

You shouldn't be allowed to treat your children that way. Disgusting doesn't even begin to describe your actions! And so the cycle continues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

OP here and I doubt I am doing that. I am always happy to see my parents and always act even happier when I tell DS why are coming. I also remind him that his nanny will be back. And again, he is not misbehaving during the day - he is just not happy.

He simply prefers his nanny at this point.

Fire the nanny. Hire someone he won't like. Then maybe he will learn respect.

What's up with all the terrible advice? Must be the same person, let's hope so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you say the main problem is that your son always wants to go out (which is entirely reasonable), that your parents are not always up for that, and that he tires them out. I don't think this is an optimal childcare arrangement; nor is it the best way to build a strong relationship between your son and your parents. If it would not create financial strain, I would extend the nanny's hours or hire an additional part-time sitter and let your parents be able to visit their grandson without being solely responsible for his care.

I agree with this. The time he is spending with his grandparents isn't fun and it is straining the relationship, probably on both sides.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a PP a few pages back who suggest adding a mother's helper for a few hours on the day the grandparents babysit. I think this solution will be the easiest and preserves your desire to have the grandparents babysit, while simultaneously giving them a break and having someone else who can take your DS outside to run around in the middle of the day.

I disagree with the posters who think you should have the nanny work overtime. That is unnecessary and is money you don't want to spend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Apparently, I am the only one who feels sorry for the little guy who wants to go outside and be with his nanny. He is expressing his feelings clearly and sounds like he is simply sad to be stuck in the house all day with his grandparents.

I would let him be cared for by his nanny on those two extra days a month and not put my parents in that position.



No, I feel bad for him too. He just wants his nanny. For a couple days a month and until he is older, I would absolutely have the nanny take care of him.

Come on, people - he is not even two-years-old. Make him happy.

I disagree. My child is older now, and I want him to be a generally happy kid, but he's not going to be happy about everything that I need/want him to do, and that's just how it is. I felt that way when he was 2 as well. For 2 days a month, the kid will be fine.

This right here. It's like generation thinks they invented kids and parenting. My parents would not have given this two seconds of thought. Barring thinking someone was being abused, not the case here, my parents would have said "oh well "
Since when do we as human beings think that we are supposed to be ecstatic about every single damn thing every second? And 2 days not playing outside wont kill that kid either.

[Anonymous]

I would never allow a child of any age to dictate to me on any subject or situation. He sounds like a spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one who feels sorry for the little guy who wants to go outside and be with his nanny. He is expressing his feelings clearly and sounds like he is simply sad to be stuck in the house all day with his grandparents.

I would let him be cared for by his nanny on those two extra days a month and not put my parents in that position.

No, I feel bad for him too. He just wants his nanny. For a couple days a month and until he is older, I would absolutely have the nanny take care of him.

Come on, people - he is not even two-years-old. Make him happy.

You clearly are not a parent either or haven't been one for very long.

I clearly am a parent or else I am nursing someone else's kid as I type while my DH has someone else's kid on errands this morning.

So then the haven't been one for very long portion would apply to you unless you are nursing your 13 year old.

Please stop feeding the troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grandmother here; I agree w/PP: 8 to 10 hours is too long for most grandparents. I love my grandchildren, but am like your parents: Would NEVER choose to be a nanny; have some imagination for play w/kids but not tons, and am done after half a day or so. Plan shorter times with grandparents, and help them find activities they and DS can enjoy together.

I agree. A few hours while you go shopping, to the movies, or out to dinner is fine, but a full day is too long for almost anybody!