Twenty-month-old DS doesn't want my parents babysitting him anymore...

[Anonymous]

Having your son wanting his nanny when your parents are there is not helping him develop the solid relationship with your parents that you say you want.

Have them come something like a 1/2 day every two weeks and one evening every two weeks (if that works for them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

He's not even two. He doesn't get to choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

He's not even two. He doesn't get to choose.

When does he get to choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

He's not even two. He doesn't get to choose.

When does he get to choose?

Not for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

He's not even two. He doesn't get to choose.

[b]When does he get to choose?[/b]

When he's old enough to know what's best for himself. That rarely happens when kids are young enough to need someone to care for them 8 - 10 hours/day.

However, given the issue of the grandparents not being active enough then I think OP would be wise to consider whether or not this IS the best right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

I would ask my parents if they really wanted to babysit for a full day twice a month. I am assuming that your parents told you that DS asked for his nanny all day long for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Apparently, I am the only one who feels sorry for the little guy who wants to go outside and be with his nanny. He is expressing his feelings clearly and sounds like he is simply sad to be stuck in the house all day with his grandparents.

I would let him be cared for by his nanny on those two extra days a month and not put my parents in that position.



No, I feel bad for him too. He just wants his nanny. For a couple days a month and until he is older, I would absolutely have the nanny take care of him.

Come on, people - he is not even two-years-old. Make him happy.

I disagree. My child is older now, and I want him to be a generally happy kid, but he's not going to be happy about everything that I need/want him to do, and that's just how it is. I felt that way when he was 2 as well. For 2 days a month, the kid will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

I would ask my parents if they really wanted to babysit for a full day twice a month. I am assuming that your parents told you that DS asked for his nanny all day long for a reason.

This, OP. Sounds like your parents are the ones unhappy with this money-saving arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you could find a "mothers helper" to assist your parents on those days? Like a high school girl who could take him to the park in the afternoon or in the yard to run around a bit?

Would this be viable, OP? Ds could be out running around like the majority of 18 month old's prefer to be, and your parents could have a bit of a break during the day. If they feel like going out with them and letting the helper do the active stuff great. If not, then they get a break.

OP here. Yes, I could look into this but it sort of defeats the purposes of both saving money and getting DS to have a solid relationship with my parents.

It doesn't sound like the current arrangement is build a solid relationship.

[Anonymous]

You are stressing everyone out for a foolish economy, OP.

Hire the nanny for the additional two days a week and let your parents be grandparents and not childcare workers.

And 8 hours is a LONG time for a 20 month old to be stuck in the house with tired grandparents.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, it sounds like one is happy with this arrangement except you, because you save a little money on childcare. Your parents can still have a major role in your child's life without spending a long time in traffic driving to your apartment to provide free childcare for 8 hours at a stretch.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here who specializes in toddlers. This is my take: eight hours is a very long time for a child that age to go without some physical exercise. Two, consistency is the bread and butter of successful toddler wrangling.

I'm not sure what the constraints are for everyone involved, but in my opinion the ideal thing would be for your parents to come for half days consistently (meaning every single week). Even if you are already home some of those hours, he will still get that time with his grandparents and get used to them being the ones around and in charge. on the weeks when you are not home, I would either ask your regular nanny to work the hours, or preferably look for a backup sitter who needs those hours, since that would enable you to have a backup sitter for days when your nanny is sick or unavailable.

If that does not work, then I would throw money at the problem in a different way: sign your kid up for a class or classes and have your parents be the ones who take him on their day. That gets him out of the house, but supervising a toddler in a place like Gymboree or JW tumbles is much easier than supervising a toddler at the playground or library. If your parents don't drive, I would have them Uber.

I know that that sounds like a lot of money (either overtime for nanny or finding and hiring a back up nanny or paying for Uber and an expensive class, but the reality is that your son will grow out of this phase in just a few months. In the meantime all of these things will help him to get comfortable with his grandparents so that this can be a successful long-term relationship. that has to be the number one priority. once they have gotten used to going together to his gym class, then they can move to something cheap or free like a mall play area, or an enclosed playground. after they have done that for a while, they can move on to doing the things in your neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Using your parents and making your active toddler stay inside all day are not the best ways to save money. Do you really think having your toddler dread when his grandparents come over is the best way to form a bond with them?

[Anonymous]

I tend to think toddlers go through these stages. My kids have gone through stages where they have preferred me over my husband and vice versa. Sometimes they just had to deal with getting who was available. Unless your parents don't want to babysit, I wouldn't change anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

yes, hitting a baby is the solution.

Hint: hitting a baby is never the solution.