Twenty-month-old DS doesn't want my parents babysitting him anymore...

[Anonymous]

Have you even asked your parents how they really feel about this arrangement?

[Anonymous]

What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: It is a regular day, same day, every other week. I do present that grandma and grandpa are coming in a very happy and excited tone. He immediately asks for his nanny and continues to ask for her during the day with my parents.

Can you stop doing every other week. Instead make it the same day every week. A:so tell him earlier. Grandma is coming Thursday what ever day it is. You can show Grandma whatever.
You will see nanny whenever the next day is. Nanny can help with this too by talking up grandma time.


Additionally I would have a special box of toys just for grandma visits. Or you can make a bag for grandma to bring with her when she comes that has special things just for the visits.
Give grandma ideas for a few activities he likes to do during the day.
Let Grandparents know they can be firm with him if he is acting up. In addition to be active and playful I'm sure his nanny also has firm boundaries with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you even asked your parents how they really feel about this arrangement?

This is important. If grandparents don;t want to watch him then time to get someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: It is a regular day, same day, every other week. I do present that grandma and grandpa are coming in a very happy and excited tone. He immediately asks for his nanny and continues to ask for her during the day with my parents.

Can you stop doing every other week. Instead make it the same day every week. A:so tell him earlier. Grandma is coming Thursday what ever day it is. You can show Grandma whatever.
You will see nanny whenever the next day is. Nanny can help with this too by talking up grandma time.


Additionally I would have a special box of toys just for grandma visits. Or you can make a bag for grandma to bring with her when she comes that has special things just for the visits.
Give grandma ideas for a few activities he likes to do during the day.
Let Grandparents know they can be firm with him if he is acting up. In addition to be active and playful I'm sure his nanny also has firm boundaries with him.

My parents aren't available every week and I am home with DS every other week on that day.

DS, according to my parents, doesn't "act up" he is just cranky and asks for nanny.

My mother brings him a new toy when she comes up and my Dad always has DS's favorite cookies with him.

The main problem is that DS always wants to go outside when they are with him and my parents aren't up for going out as often as the nanny does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

OP here and I doubt I am doing that. I am always happy to see my parents and always act even happier when I tell DS why are coming. I also remind him that his nanny will be back. And again, he is not misbehaving during the day - he is just not happy.

He simply prefers his nanny at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

Yes, that is an excellent idea. He needs to learn now that he cannot ask for anything ever. And, God knows, if he is ever allowed to have his own feelings the trouble will never end.

He shouldn't be allowed to treat his grandparents that way. It's disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you even asked your parents how they really feel about this arrangement?

This is important. If grandparents don;t want to watch him then time to get someone else.

OP but again: My parents love him and want a relationship with him. I know he does tire them out and it is a long drive in traffic to get here. My parents want to help me as much as possible and they say they are happy to stay with DS. I don't know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

Yes, that is an excellent idea. He needs to learn now that he cannot ask for anything ever. And, God knows, if he is ever allowed to have his own feelings the trouble will never end.

He shouldn't be allowed to treat his grandparents that way. It's disgusting

Yes, at 20 months old he should know how to control his own crankiness and be polite. Most toddlers have complete control over their emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

OP here and I doubt I am doing that. I am always happy to see my parents and always act even happier when I tell DS why are coming. I also remind him that his nanny will be back. And again, he is not misbehaving during the day - he is just not happy.

He simply prefers his nanny at this point.

Fire the nanny. Hire someone he won't like. Then maybe he will learn respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

Yes, that is an excellent idea. He needs to learn now that he cannot ask for anything ever. And, God knows, if he is ever allowed to have his own feelings the trouble will never end.

He shouldn't be allowed to treat his grandparents that way. It's disgusting

Yes, at 20 months old he should know how to control his own crankiness and be polite. Most toddlers have complete control over their emotions.

If you spank early on for everything it helps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What should you do? Nothing at all. If you are taking order from a toddler, you've got a looooooong road ahead of you.

+10000

I could be way off here, but my guess is when you tell him they are coming it is more of a question and a begging from you.

"Grandma and grandpa are coming Don't you like them? Don't you wan't to play with grandma?"
Then if his says no and starts to fall out you scoop him up with hugs and kisses and say" Don't worry grand ma and grandpa are so much fun mommy will be back soon or nanny will be here tomorrow"
Confirming that he has a reason to misbehave and giving him permission to do so. Not on purpose , but you are doing it.

OP here and I doubt I am doing that. I am always happy to see my parents and always act even happier when I tell DS why are coming. I also remind him that his nanny will be back. And again, he is not misbehaving during the day - he is just not happy.

He simply prefers his nanny at this point.

OP, this is just a phase one of many your son will have. Right now he is preferring his nanny. Next phase cycle it will be grandparents.
I don't think you need to do anything really.
I do think you parent should take him outside. They may not be bale to do long trips, but I don't think it's unreasonable for them to pop him in the stroller and walk him around the block or roll a ball to him in the backyard.

[Anonymous]

Just get the nanny for those days, OP. Period.

Everyone will be happier. Cut out cable and eating out to afford the overtime.

[Anonymous]

OP, you say the main problem is that your son always wants to go out (which is entirely reasonable), that your parents are not always up for that, and that he tires them out. I don't think this is an optimal childcare arrangement; nor is it the best way to build a strong relationship between your son and your parents. If it would not create financial strain, I would extend the nanny's hours or hire an additional part-time sitter and let your parents be able to visit their grandson without being solely responsible for his care.