Twenty-month-old DS doesn't want my parents babysitting him anymore...

[Anonymous]

My parents have always played an active roll in our lives. One or both will babysit DS for the whole day a just couple days a month. For the last month, when I tell DS that his grandparents are coming he says, "No. Nanny". And he is a pill all day with my parents and apparently asks for his nanny all day (he never does this with DH and I on weekends).

His nanny is just a few years younger than my parents but extremely active and imaginative. Nanny has DS out and about most of the day. My parents are loving but more sedate.

I want DS to have a good relationship with my parents and we also cannot afford to go into overtime with the nanny.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Stop asking your parents to babysit for 8-10 hours at a stretch during the week and let them be grandparents who visit on weekends with you and DH. If you nanny is still available on those days, bite the bullet and pay her to work those few extra days.

Your son will come to resent his grandparents if you don't.

[Anonymous]

I would keep having grandparents babysit.
I would maybe leave an idea or 2 for an activity they can do with DS
Tips on how to redirect.
As well as tips for whatever form of discipline you approve of if needed.
Do not play up his I want nanny melt down.
Kids don't need to be out and about all the time.
Kids need to learn how to receive care from different caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Grandmother here; I agree w/PP: 8 to 10 hours is too long for most grandparents. I love my grandchildren, but am like your parents: Would NEVER choose to be a nanny; have some imagination for play w/kids but not tons, and am done after half a day or so. Plan shorter times with grandparents, and help them find activities they and DS can enjoy together.

[Anonymous]

I would then hire a part-time nanny to watch him for those extra hours.

Sure, it may be more of a hassle for you to find someone else, but honestly it would be the best thing for your son.

Your parents have raised their own children and are now older and like you stated, more sedate. They may not have the energy and enthusiasm needed to keep up with your son and it just wouldn't be fair for him to spend such a long day in their care.

Short visits probably work out best with grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? He's 20 months any change in routine will be met with a NO
.
I'm betting this has something to do with how you mention the grandparents are coming.
Kids pick up on our insecurities.

I would keep having your grandparents watch him, but I would make it a regular day like Fridays.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the advice to pick a regular day and stick to it.
MY DD has always done Tuesdays with grandma and she's fine with that.

[Anonymous]

If your parents are overwhelmed then change things.
If not he doesn't get to choose babysitters.
My guess is he is responding to how you present the information and perhaps your parents trying so hard to get his attention.
That's how my DD was she could tell when I wanted something badly and would instantly start with the nos

[Anonymous]

Grandmother here. I would absolutely hate to be sacrificing my time to babysit my grandson only to be met with a little guy who is clearly unhappy and asks for his nanny all day!!! Hire his nanny for those days and let Grandma be Grandma.

PS It's not like he is going to get less active or Grandma and Grandpa are going to get more energy anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

[Anonymous]

OP here: It is a regular day, same day, every other week. I do present that grandma and grandpa are coming in a very happy and excited tone. He immediately asks for his nanny and continues to ask for her during the day with my parents.

[Anonymous]

What would I do?

Have another kid.

Your son is suffering from crown prince syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your son needs his ass whopped. um no 1 year old decides what goes on. He needs a good strong spanking when he acts like that. Don't let a 1 yr old control you

Yes, that is an excellent idea. He needs to learn now that he cannot ask for anything ever. And, God knows, if he is ever allowed to have his own feelings the trouble will never end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop asking your parents to babysit for 8-10 hours at a stretch during the week and let them be grandparents who visit on weekends with you and DH. If you nanny is still available on those days, bite the bullet and pay her to work those few extra days.

Your son will come to resent his grandparents if you don't.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop asking your parents to babysit for 8-10 hours at a stretch during the week and let them be grandparents who visit on weekends with you and DH. If you nanny is still available on those days, bite the bullet and pay her to work those few extra days.

Your son will come to resent his grandparents if you don't.

+1

+2 And using your parents is no way to save money. No one is happy in your current arrangement except you and DH.